1. Choosing death
The sun is heating my back and the crowd of laughing, happy people is surrounding me. I take my book and start reading but I’m just looking at the words not understanding them. After a while going like that I close my book and start looking at the people playing in the sea, they look happy I wish I could be like them. But I’m limited and I can’t walk, because you need legs to walk and that is my problem. I don’t have legs. Lying there on the hot sand I start thinking back to when I could walk and how happy I was, I loved life and I was living it out until the day I went to the cinema and the roof of the cinema crashed. I was the only surviving and my best friend and family died too. But I’m here today a year after the accident lying on the beach surrounded by happy people. I just have to put up a fake smile on and hope that nobody notices me.
But I have to do something a can´t lay here all day and thinking about the past. I crawl down to water´s edge and dip my hips down in the water. It feels nice to do like other people do, and be a little normal. I love the feeling of the cooling water and the heating sun, two different things in one feeling. I close my eyes and enjoy the sun baking my eyelids. Suddenly I notice that the laughing and the happy voices are gone. I open my eyes and see a huge wave coming towards the beach. People are screaming and kids are crying the wave is close and I can’t move. I scream after help but nobody hears me. This is the end the beach is my final destination. And surprising I think I’m ready, I´m ready to die they will be waiting for me in heaven and I will give them all a big hug. My parents, my siblings and my best friend.