Sitting staring into the fire I could feel my body shaking softly.... I was nervous... No scratch that I was scared out of mind. Just sitting there looking in the fire my mind started to go all over the place. 'What am I doing’, ‘is this smart’, ‘what’s gonna happen to me’, ‘am I really doing this' that just some of the thoughts racing through my mind.
I never believed in love, it always seemed like a weakness, mother is a great example of that, and maybe it's not love that's problem but me. I only seen the bad things that love can do to you, and I'm not just talking of my mom, but myself too.
After I lost Peeta to the capital I lost my mind....... My life....... I never really known love, but I know now that I did love Peeta back then, even more now, and that scares me because if just losing him to the capital for that short periods of time, that felt like forever to me, could destroy me that much, I can't even think about what losing him will do to me.........
My mind keep going like that until I feel a hand on my shoulder. I look up to the person the hand belongs to...... It's Peeta...... I didn't have to look to know it was him, I could recognize his touch anywhere.
I looked into his beautiful blue eyes, they had that spark in them, the one they get when he smiles, and he is now. I nervously smile back, he takes my hand, and kiss the back of it, while he sits down next to me.
He knows how nervous I am about all this.... About what it means. It means forever, that it me and him against everything, against everyone, to protect each other.... like we always have.
I look into the fire again, and hear someone walking behind me. They stop behind me and Peeta, who starts making small circles on the back of my Hand with his thump.
Its Haymitch that came, he has a loaf of bread in hand.
I look at the bread like it's something I see for the first time..... Peeta takes the bread from him, and breaks it in half, and hands one he to me.
It feels weird holding it in my hand, it makes it all so real, to real. I slowly put my bread on a stick as Peeta do the same.
Together we slowly put our bread into the fire. I stare at the bread in the fire, not believe that this is it, I'm actually sitting here with Peeta, my rock my true love, in front of the fire in our house, having a toasting....... Our toasting
when bread is done we take it out of the fire. I slowly look up into his eyes. His eyes are sparkling with unshed tears, they look like stars.......
Slowly while looking into each other we feed each other with the bread. I slowly bite into the bread, my eyes never leave his, I couldn't even if I wanted to.
And looking into his eyes calmed me down, cause looking into his eyes all I could see was happiness and love, so much love......
I love him more than anything, and I my fear for love will always be there, and who can blame me after everything that happened to me........ To us....... Sitting in front of the fire, chewing to bread he just toasted and fed me, staring into his eyes, I knew that the fear didn't matter that when Peeta was around everything would be okay.
With him everything around me just disappear, just like now with our friends and Haymitch cheering and celebrating out toasting in the back, I don't really notice. All I see is the look of love in his eyes, and looking into them all I can think about is.... I just had a toasting with Peeta Mellark..... We're gonna be together........ Always