Wag walked into the space dock, Wag was a short fat green man with six red eyes, an under bite and an incredible amount of yellow teeth, he wore a black full body suit made out of denim from the planet Melasurej he had a cig in his mouth and a shaved head, he also had blue freckles all over his bald flat wrinkled head. he was known round some parts of the universe as Captain Wag Rumplesket, well those some parts were his brother's house and his mother's shack but still some. He was somewhat a captain, I mean he had a ship that he found in his dad's garage, his dad was dead, so it was ok obviously.
He decided he needed crew members, so he went looking for people or just things, with brains, and maybe skills. He saw a man at the side of the road holding a sign saying 'help I need weed, or something like a home maybe, but mainly weed' Wag thought he seemed decent, so he walked up to him,
'Hello,' wag said holding out his chubby little hand,
'o'right,' the man said in a deep gravelly voice,
'I'm Wag, what's your name?' Wag said looking up at him as he stood up,
'I'm Quanx, Quanx bimblenipple,' he grumbled,
'The engineer extraordinaire?' Wag squealed with amazement,
'that's the one,' Quanx seemed pleased he was recognised,
'I need an engineer for my Crew,' Wag said giddily,
'I don't know, adventures are a hit and miss for me,' Quanx sighed
'I'll pay you in weed,' Wag encouraged Quanx
'I'm fucking in!' Quanx exclaimed
Wag recorded his Quanx into his crew data;
Name: Quanx Bimblenipple
Race: human mixed with Titorous
Appearance: Tall white male, large muscles, robotic leg, massive fucking tits, tattoos covering his body, and a big white beard like Gandalf or something.
Apparel: Shirtless, bra (he's not a slut), Plasma armour trousers and big gravity boots
Occupation: Ship engineer
Likes: Metal things, clockwork, lasers, Elton John and axes.
Dislikes: Bunnies, Vegetables, gingers and books
Wag and Quanx wondered off to find more people, they walked into a restaurant and sat at the bar,
'Tit milk and rum cocktail,' Wag summoned the bartender snapping his fingers,
'and a baby blood beer please' Quanx said to the bartender, the woman behind the bar looked at them and nodded and got their drinks, she spoke to them,
'What are you boys doing then?' she asked,
'Looking for a crew to explore some bits of the universe and shit' Wag said confidently
'Hmmm, can I come? I can pilot!' she said quickly
'well that was fucking easy, what's your name love' Quanx said happily
'Ninax Kinkiclit' she answered
'Fuck it you're in' Wag told her proudly.
Wag turned on his crew data thing;
Name: Ninax Kinkiclit
Appearance: Short fit lady, neon pink skin, long black curly hair, eight nostrils, massive lips, three long fingers with sharp claws, no eyebrows, spines on her back and a big bum.
Apparel: White latex suit, tool belt, trainers and lip piercings
Likes: sex, money, alcohol, buttons and guns
dislikes: wallpaper paste, forked tongues, board games and fart jokes
Wag also remembered to do his data;
Name: Wag Rumplesket
Age: 69 (ha lol)
Appearance: short fat green man with six red eyes, an under bite and an incredible amount of yellow teeth (basically see the beginning of the chapter)
Apparel: other shit from the beginning of the chapter
Likes: Sex, Money, cigs, weed, beer, boobs, hairy men, and food
Dislikes: No sex, lack of money, running out of tobacco, coat hangers (incident from in the womb)
this was going well for wag.