The Adventures of a First Year Deer

Xiao Luhan has a problem. No, it's not the daunting first semester of university. And no, it's not the fact that he has a unicorn and a boazi as friends. He just keeps on being mistaken as a girl which never proves a real predicament until one day, something happens...causing a massive bubble tea fight and a runaway deer. Oh and he's also got crazed fry-pan wielding lunatic hunting him down.

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3. 3.

Between that time I managed to pass all my exams (which was really just one in-class test) and even gain more sleep. Baekhyun and Chanyeol had only ever woken me up five times, which was a record for them. It was the end of the week that they first broke my pleasant sleep with a horribly out of tune folk song. I bolted upright and glared.

“How the hell did you get into my room?!” I yelled furiously. I hated people seeing me in the mornings. My hair often got a bit shaggy and therefore was a mass of curls if I didn’t straighten them.

Chanyeol gently propped his guitar on my desk and stretched. “It wasn’t locked,” he retorted. “Right, Bacon? The door wasn’t locked was it?”

Baekhyun shook his head in agreement. “It wasn’t, Luhan. We just thought we’d wake you up in time to say goodbye to the high school kids. Channie and I were already going but we wanted to check if you’d like to join us.”

I fell back into the warm embrace of my pillow. “Just let me get dressed.”

Chanyeol picked up his guitar again and began strumming softly. Baekhyun started singing. Or rather, rapping and failing at it. Then he sung. In tune this time. I wondered why everyone could sing except for me. Sure I’d never tried, but what the ears don’t hear the heart won’t grieve over.

“Alone,” I hinted.

Baekhyun and Chanyeol didn’t seem to hear. They never did.

I ducked under the covers and managed to pull on some jeans. I eyed Chanyeol as he settled down on the end of my bed. My skin grew clammy and I bit my lip. “L-lets go then. We don’t want to miss them,” I said in a strained voice. My inner-germophobe was acting up big time.

“OKAY!” Baekhyun jumped up enthusiastically.

It was freezing outside. Why I even said yes confused even me! I hugged my shivering arms tightly in a feeble attempt to stay relatively comfortable in the bitter wind. Sehun had a thick parka on and his vibrant hair hadn’t been brushed. He had bags under his eyes as he waved.

“Bye, hyung,” Sehun called wearily.

“Bye Sehun-ah!” Baekhyun and Chanyeol replied. Chanyeol had glasses perched on the end of his nose.

I was frantically patting down my hair while trying to avoid the cold. “Yeah. Bye, Sehun,” I added.

He staggered onto the bus and it drove off.

“You could have at least waited till I’d brushed my hair,” I grumbled.

“Sorry, what?” Baekhyun turned his attention to me.

“I have an afro if I don’t straighten my hair and it makes my head look big.” I patted my hair with the flat of my palm.

“I love it though!” Baekhyun argued. (A/N and he says he’s not gay). “It makes you look so kawaii!!!”

I had no idea whether to take that as a compliment since I didn’t understand what Baekhyun had just said. Had he just slipped into Japanese? It sounded Japanese.

“Bacon’s been watching anime. He’s turning into a bit of an otaku whatever that means,” Chanyeol provided as an explanation. "Death Note, Pokémon you name it.”

“So what does Kawaii mean?” I was getting suspicious at that point.
“Oh, it’s just the Japanese word for ‘cute. ‘Moe’ means ‘adorable too!”

“I do not look cute!” I fumed. “I look manly. Except when I have this hair style. Then I just look stupid.” I smiled at my own joke.

“CHANNIE!! CHANNIE!! OMO!!! Did Luhan just smile?! He looks so pretty when he does that.”

“You know what, Bacon? He does.” Chanyeol looked surprised as well.

“What?” I asked faintly. How many freaking times did this have to happen?

“You should smile more often Luhan-ah! Aw! I just want to hug you!” Baekhyun said.

“I'd rather you didn't,” I grimaced. Inner-germophobe.

“Still. You're so KAWAII!” Baekhyun and Chanyeol yelled together. Just get them a room someone. Anyone? Please?

My smile slowly diminished. I flopped down on the concrete path, not minding that it scraped my knees badly when I landed. I’d had enough. “Just…I don’t even know…I give up…One day I’ll just come to a lecture in a dress and no one will even notice,” I said sadly. “Perhaps that’s what’s I should do.”

Baekhyun crouched down and poked my arm. He resembled a little kid trying to cheer up an older sibling or something like that. “I think you’d look nice, Luhan,” he said as if he was encouraging me.

I hung my head solemnly.

“That wasn’t what I needed to hear,” I said glumly.

 

Lay was standing by my dorm door. He’s one of those people that pick up if something’s wrong but knows if personal space is needed. That’s one of the reasons why I tolerate his…his…unicorn…ness… When I approached him, he stepped back slightly and didn’t say anything.

“What’s your secret?” I asked.

Lay cocked his head to the side. “Er…secret?”

“To being a man. No matter how hard I try no one ever seems to think of me as…well, a guy.”

Lay pondered for a moment. “Looking like one helps. *cough* Sorry…I had to say that. Hey, I said sorry! Right...well...Other than that? Hmmm…I’m trying my best here…but…no…yeah nope. That’s pretty much it.”

I punched his leg. “Shut up! I blame my Umma.”

“Yeah, yeah. Calm down. I didn’t come to console you though I wish I had. I’ve forgotten something,” Lay said. He shifted awkwardly.

“Not unlike usual. What is it this time?” I sighed.

“How am I supposed to know when I’m the one who can’t remember?!” Lay threw up his hands. “Xiumin was being a lazy boazi today and decided he’d take an afternoon nap. That’s why I’m here. It’s been nagging at the back of my mind all day and I’m fed up with it. Now help me or I’ll run my unicorn horn through you.”

I squinted at his mop of wavy hair but no horn grew out of it. The day it will happen will be a very strange day. In addition, the world will probably end and I shall spontaneously combust. That is to say, the chance of something like that occurring is very minimal. “Give me a hint at what you think it might be then.”

“I’m guessing it’s the paper I’m supposed to hand into Suho. That short guy with the shiny smile. Rich...Kim Joonmyun. Part of the student council with Siwon?”

It took me a while to get who it was since I have never had much to do with the student council. Some of them are real pricks. “That’s probably it, Lay. Well done!”

“Really?” Lay looked genuinely pleased like he'd just solved the meaning of life or something.

“Yeah.” I retrieved my keys.

“You sure?”

“Positive.”

“Cause I think I may have done that already.”

“I'm one hundred percent certain.”

“Thanks Luhan.”

“No problem, Lay.”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“Say, Lay?”

“Mhm?”

“I've been wondering this for a very long time now. You've never actually told me...what's your actual name?”

“My actual name?”

“You seriously can't be called after a brand of chips can you?”

“No...”

“You've forgotten it haven't you?”
“Maybe...”

I turned the doorknob, opened the door, stepped through the door, waved on the other side of the door and then shut the door.

I needed a nap too.

My head seemed to be hurting a lot lately.

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