The Adventures of a First Year Deer

Xiao Luhan has a problem. No, it's not the daunting first semester of university.
And no, it's not the fact that he has a unicorn and a boazi as friends.
He just keeps on being mistaken as a girl which never proves a real predicament until one day, something happens...causing a massive bubble tea fight and a runaway deer. Oh and he's also got crazed fry-pan wielding lunatic hunting him down.


2. 2.

There was person sitting in the corridor. It was eleven at night but they weren’t sleeping. Nor were they doing anything else. Just sitting. In front of my door.

Sitting infront of my door doing nothing…were they waiting?

“Oh my God,” I whispered.

The person looked up at me when I came closer. I wasn’t scared as such since I knew no one would try and kidnap me with all these people nearby. Also, they didn’t look very strong. I don’t have any muscles and I could probably beat them up fairly easily. I stopped infront of them.

They stood.

“What do you want?” I asked stiffly.

They didn’t reply. They had a longish face and this ridiculously coloured hair. “I can’t find my room,” they said quietly.

Okay so no plan on kidnapping me. I folded my arms. “And?”

“Can you help me find my room?” They shifted uncomfortably.

I contemplated not helping but he looked so lost…“What’s your name?”

“Sehun,” the stranger (now named) said.

“Right. Sehun. I don’t know my way around the campus that well so I’m gonna take you to Baekhyun’s room and see if he can help us,” I said.

Sehun scratched his head. “Sure.”

The lights weren’t shining underneath Baekhyun’s door so I only hoped that he wouldn’t be grumpy upon waking him. I knocked on the door and the lights flicked on instantly. The door was flung open and Baekhyun beamed at us from the other side. I jumped back in surprise. He was still wearing eyeliner. Did he wear it to bed or something? “What can I do for you two?” His room looked terribly messy from where I was standing with a keyboard somehow jammed into the corner and clothes and books littering the floor.

“Sehun here can’t find his room,” I said when Sehun didn’t answer.

He was gaping at Baekhyun’s room. Possibly one of the things I learnt about Sehun later was his immaculate cleanliness. He was lazy but neat.

“Come in. Come in. I’ll just find a map of campus.” Baekhyun ushered us in. He kicked some clothes into a pile in a small effort to relieve us of the mess. It didn’t work very well. “See here.” He held out a very cracked iPhone that had a bird’s eye view of the campus on the screen.

Sehun peered at it over my shoulder. “I’m supposed to be in C block.”

Baekhyun zoomed in with his forefinger and thumb. “Alright. Just go…you know what? I’ll take you.” He stuffed his phone into his pocket and slung on another over-sized jumper. “Channie gives me lots of hand-me-downs,” he said, as if he knew what I was thinking.

Walking around campus at night is actually freakier than you’d think. They have bright lighting washing the dark pathways and halls with this eerie glow. It was silent as well. So different from the usual buzz.

I felt someone bump into me for the umpteenth time. Sehun seemed to always be right beside me. He was staring ahead like something was going to jump out at him from a bush.

Baekhyun suddenly turned on his heels and faced us, placing his hands on his hips. And he says he’s manly. I’m manlier! In fact, I’m really manly… “We’re here. The door leading inside is right infront of us. Baekhyun’s navigation system is glad to have been of assistance.”

“Thanks,” Sehun mumbled before he dashed inside.

I raised my eyebrows. “Why are you acting normal?” I demanded. “You actually acted like a normal person and not like someone who suffers from a crack addiction.”

Baekhyun bent down and began to retie his shoelace. “He’s one of the third year high school students that are visiting for the week. I suspected as much when he said C Block. They’re all staying there. We don’t want to scare them away now. Do we?” He ran a finger along the bottom of his eye. “Damn, it’s running. I was applying liquid liner when you came in. It hadn’t dried properly.”

I put my hands up in defence. “I’m sorry. Now, I’m going to go back to bed.”

The corners of Baekhyun’s mouth twitched, foreboding a smile. “I don’t suppose Channie and I will see you anytime soon?”

I sighed. “Baekhyun. Come here for a moment. Yes. Closer. Okay. You do realize that we. Live. In. The. Same. Building.”

Baekhyun leant away from me and let the information sink in. “REALLY?!” he clapped gleefully. “That’s great. I didn’t realize that. This morning, I just thought you were helping someone move in! I’m really happy now!”

“Oh joy,” I muttered. “Now please go away. I need my sleep otherwise I’m going to be incredibly grumpy tomorrow.”

Baekhyun grabbed a hold of my arm. “We’re going to tell Chanyeol the great news!”

“AT TWELVE IN THE MORNING!!!!!!!!!!” I tried desperately to relieve the grip to no avail.

“Yes. At TWELVE IN THE MORNING. What better time than the present?!”

And together we skipped back to our dorms, arm in arm, Baekhyun mainly dragging me.

“CHANNIE!” Baekhyun banged on the door.

I swung my head from side to side, fervently. I didn’t want everyone else to be disturbed. That would be too humiliating!

The door opened a smidge and an eye appeared. “Oh, Bacon.” Chanyeol opened the door fully. He was wearing an overly fluffy dressing gown that made him look like a cuddly, slightly crazed teddy bear. “What do you want?”

“I found out just now that Luhan lives in the same building as us!” Baekhyun gushed.


“When did you find that out?”

They pulled me into the room, sat me down on the bed and that’s where I stayed till nine.


The first thing I saw the next day as I locked my room for the day was a flash of rainbow and a whiff of bubble tea. I dropped my keys inside my bag and saw a figure dashing down the hallway like a madman.

They had a shoe half way onto their foot and an empty plastic cup in their hand.

It didn’t take much effort to catch up with Sehun, thank God. The sun was bad enough, but everything just seemed to be crap after zero hours of sleep the night before. I kicked my foot into his heel so he staggered a bit and slowed down. Sehun turned and wiped furiously at his eyes which looked just as tired as mine.

“Hyung,” Sehun yawned. He chucked his cup at a bin, missing hopelessly. “I’ll be late for clath! I thlept in and now I don’t know where everyone elth ith.”

“Pardon?” I held a hand to my ear in assurance that I could hear him properly.

“Why did you *yawn* thop me?” Sehun said blearily.

I hid a smile. “Aw. Sehun-ah do you have a lisp?”

Sehun shook his head furiously. “I don’t have a lithp. Only when I’m thleepy…thtill though… I jutht…I’m too thleepy to remember where everyone went…but I need to find them…we have a lecture now but I don’t know where, hyung.”

If this wasn’t a teenage boy who was only two years younger than me and happened to be taller than me then I might have called it cute. In the adorable, asking-for-a-hug, annoying Pororo kind of way of course. “Well, I need to attend my own classes so I can’t help you there.” I offered the younger a sticky note. It had a mud-map drawn on it with instructions to the nearest theatre. I was given it last week because of terrible orienteering skills and an impending theory lesson that I’d had. I quickly retreated my hand when I felt a vibration in my pocket. The caller ID was Xiumin.

“Yes?” I said impatiently. I held a finger up at Sehun. “Won’t be a minute.”

There was a pause as Xiumin chose his words carefully. He didn’t like my prickly side. “Er…where are you would be a good start.”

“I’m helping a new friend.” I was proud to say that. I’ve never really been good at making friends and Xiumin knows that. At least, I hope he does. You’d think he’d have figured it out after ten years of schooling with me.

“Right. Who are you and what have you done with Luhan?”

I rolled my eyes. “Shut up. And listen, I need to go.”

“So do I, but I can’t go until we start and we can’t start till you’re here since the teacher knows you’re on campus.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“I know.”

“Well see you.”

“Wait! Don’t hang-”

I smiled at Sehun. “Now, where were we?” I extended the note again.

Sehun took it, studied it and scratched his head. “Thankth, Hyung.” After studying it for a while he cocked his head to the side like he saw something and I felt a hand fall on my shoulder. I squeaked because I’m masculine like that.

“Hi Sehun!” a friendly voice greeted behind me. “Who’s this pretty lady?”

I clenched my fists. How many freakin’ times was I going to be mistaken for a freakin’ LADY?!!! I may as well grow long hair and start wearing dresses to save myself from explanations. I tried desperately to calm myself. When (and if) I went home next I was going to go right up to my mum and blame her for my feminine looks.

Sehun looked confused but didn’t argue. “That’th…um…hyung…”

“My name’s Luhan,” I managed through gritted teeth. Had this imbecile not heard Sehun call me hyung?

“Are you a first year here?”

I glimpsed the person I was talking to before I turned my back again. “Yes. That means I’m your superior right?” They were darker than most. Not a lot darker, but dark enough to be mistaken for a Japanese. They also had strange hair as well. What was it with people and dyed hair? Wasn’t it bad for hair to be stripped and bleached so often?

The guy moved towards Sehun and formed a triangle with the three of us. “Yes. That doesn’t mean I can’t ask you ou-”

“I’m a guy,” I said hastily. “Fully and purely a guy. If you’ll excuse me, I have a class to get to.”

“*yawn* Thankth again, hyung. I owe you…” Sehun squashed his face on his friend’s shoulder. “I’m going to thleep now.”

I waved at him.

I didn’t wave to his friend.


The adrenaline that was keeping me going eventually ran out around lunch when I planned to give mum my weekly phone home. The idea became less and less appealing as the day wore on. Every single time my fingers brushed my mobile in my pocket, I quickly withdrew my hand. Eventually I was literally crawling to the nearest available place where I could rest in peace. A.K.A the library.

Xiumin followed. Lay had a study session so he couldn’t make it.

I peered at the boazi through a half shut eye. He had his head bopping in time to whatever he was listening to. Every now and again he’d begin humming or singing along with it. It was pleasant since he could actually sing.

“What’re you...what’s the band?” I asked.

Xiumin gave me an ear-phone. It took a while to put in since it’s one of those ones that has a bud that’s supposed to go right into your ear. They always fall out.

“WHY SOOOO SERRR-IIII-OUS!” Xiumin sang. “They’re called SHINee. As in S-H-I-N-E-E.”

“Right.” I twitched my head to the side slightly so the ear phone fell out. “They’re okay.”

“They’re more than okay!” Xiumin said angrily. “They’re brilliant. There are five members you see. Minho (the visual), Taemin (the main dancer and the maknae), Onew (the leader), Key (the rapper) and Jonghyun who is the main vocalist. They’re awesome and they can dance so well. ”

I’d never really been much into Kpop myself, which sounds funny since I’m Chinese and had grown up in Korea. The chorus reminded me of the Joker from Batman from his famous line.

“I noticed,” Xiumin said slowly. “That you’ve made some new friends.”

I rolled my head to face him, tucking my arms underneath for support on the prickly carpet. “It’s definitely not because I mentioned it when you called me.”

Xiumin leant back on his hands. “They happen to be one person don’t they? And it’s one of the high-schoolers so they don’t count.”

“He’s not as annoying as most so I don’t mind him. Shouldn’t that be a miracle, Xiumin?” I pushed my bag underneath my head so I had a makeshift bed complete with a sweater blanket.

Xiumin pulled out a textbook and opened it on his lap, placing a pen securely in the margin. “I suppose. Baekhyun seems to like him in case you were wondering.”

“Like I’d care,” I interjected.

Xiumin acted as if he hadn’t heard me. “He said, he’s really adorable and reminds him of a walking lollipop. I want to see him. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone with rainbow hair.”

“I swear that Baekhyun’s gay…Oh. I wouldn’t say he’s adorable. He uses aegyo a lot though. It’s…strange.”

“Says the person who’s watched Broke-back-”

“I told you never to mention that again!” I clamped a hand over his mouth. The memory was too embarrassing.

“You never said please,” Xiumin smirked.

I clenched my fists. My comprising position on the floor was a huge disadvantage on my part. I would have to go for the simple revenge: such as tripping or stealing his boazi stash.

But that’s also where my troubles began really. Those stupid boazis (no offence to Xiumin).

I am forever the number one hater of steamed buns after what happened on 25th of December. Christmas day. A month later, which was technically only the start of my problems.

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