I woke up to the dreaded sound of my alarm clock at a too early to be awake hour in the morning, What made it worse was that I had completely forgotten that I would be having to get up this early today so that just made getting up even more unbearable.
It’s been a littler over a week since the whole scene with the New Year’s party and everything, and honestly, little has changed at all. I had at least been expecting things to get a little better and a little progress to be made in the situation with my friends, but everything was pretty much the same.
They continued to not really talk to me, and then three of them would either leave the dorm before me in the morning or waited until I left before they would leave a few minutes later. The way they were handling it was quite childish though. I didn’t see why we wouldn’t just sit and talk about all this and work it all out.
Instead though they just decided to not talk to me, and only talk about me occasionally to each other. I wasn’t sure if they knew or not that I heard the things that they would say about me and this whole situation, but I did, I heard almost every insult and angry comment they could say about me.
I couldn’t say that it didn’t bother me even the slightest bit to have to me friends that I’ve been so close to for so long feel this way about me now and be perfectly okay with saying these things about me, because it was a bit hurtful. But now I’ve basically just gotten used to it which probably isn’t the best thing, but that’s what it’s come to.
I’ve just come to the conclusion that they probably weren’t going to be a part of my life anymore, and I guess that I was okay with that since the school year was almost over anyway. I supposed that it would make going or separate ways to different colleges a lot easier than it would’ve been a few months ago.
Right now most of my time and thoughts have been directed towards Harry. He’s good at helping me forget about the drama with my friends, whether he’s just talking to me about something, or in other ways.
A few days after the party, he had been bringing up a bit of what happened, asking me how I was doing and if I was okay.
A few days ago he seemed to have gotten the hint that I really wasn’t up for talking about it all that much since I had gotten to the point where I would just tell him I was fine and then go into talking about something else. Now Harry just doesn’t mention it at all and the two of us I guess really just act like everything was really fine.
It was nice being with him because I really didn’t have to worry about anything or any drama with him. It was even better spending time with him now that I didn’t have to worry about my friends seeing us together and all those other worries I had, they were almost all gone now. I’ve taken it amongst myself to sometimes just bother my friends for the fun of it.
Mostly it was just eating lunch in the dining hall with Harry instead of in the coffee shop, and then during the weekends when I’d be picking out an outfit to wear before going out with Harry, I’d make sure they were in the room at the time.
I knew that I was being childish and immature in the way I was handling all this, but my friends honestly weren’t any better. We weren’t making any progress in making up and I seriously did not think we were ever going to. It just felt like too much of our friendship and trust was already broken that it’d take to long to fix.
I knew that I probably had to be the one to really make an effort to patch up the friendship I had with them, but they couldn’t just not make an effort at all. With they way they’ve been acting they have made it pretty clear that they seem to be done with me, so really what was the point of trying anyway.
I will admit that I did miss having girls to talk to sometimes instead of just always talking to Harry. Harry was good at listening to whatever I wanted to talk about though so I guess that situation wasn’t all that bad. I still had someone to talk to about things I would talk to my friends about since it’s not like I ever talked about Harry with my friends in a way that would be embarrassing if Harry knew like Liz when she would go on and on about Liam all the time.
This whole situation had seemed to bring Harry and I closer though, which was a good thing. It just seemed that now the closer I got to Harry, the more distant I became with my friends and the more distant they became with me. Harry had sort of been hinting to me that he never really liked any of them in the first place.
When he had said something about that, telling me that he never really understood why I even hung out with them, by instinct I was about to be quick to defend them, but I had stopped myself. They weren’t the ones who I should be defending anymore if they were going to treat me like crap.
Right now the only person who I wanted to defend was Harry when one of my so-called friends would make a comment about him. I always stopped myself though because I didn’t want them to know that what they were saying was bothering me that much. It wasn’t worth to defend Harry to them so instead I just ignored what they would say and play it off like I didn’t even hear it.
Once I had gotten dressed and ready for the day, I walked out of the dorm room before anyone else and decided that I was going to go get some breakfast at the coffee shop today. I texting Harry to let him know that that’s were I’d be if he was ready and wanted to meet up before we had to head to class soon.
A minute or so later the screen showed that he was typing back a response, but didn’t get to see what he had texted once he sent it because I heard some one calling my name. Confused, I turned around and to my surprise I saw Becca coming up to me.
“Um, hey,” I told her, not exactly sure what to think of this situation. “Hey,” she said back.
“Are you sure you’re aloud to talk to me?” I asked, saying it just as harsh as intended.
“Look I know we’ve been acting a bit bitchy to you lately,” she said.
“A bit?” I questioned.
Was that her form of an apology? If it was, it sure as hell wasn’t going to make any difference in the situation whatsoever.
“How are you doing?” she asked, deciding to ignore my questioning and making me raise a brow at her.
“I just wanted you to know that I’ve sort of gotten over this whole thing,” she told me when I didn’t answer.
“Yet you’re still acting like Christina when the four of us are in the room together,” I reminded her.
Christina was the most pissed about this whole thing and I didn’t think she was ever going to get over it. We could be at a school reunion fifteen years from now she she’d still shoot me a glare if she saw me.
“You do know why Christina is being such a bitch about this, right?” Becca said.
“Obviously I don’t,” I retailed.
I was trying my best to keep my guard up but it was hard after she had told me that she had gotten over it, and I really just wanted to hug her and thank her since I didn’t think I’d ever be friends with any of them again.
“Christina liked Harry,” she told me, taking me out of my momentary thoughts.
“What?” I asked, not sure if this was a joke or not.
“Christina had always thought he was attractive and then when they had to do an in class project one day in a class they had together she began to really like him but didn’t want to say anything in front of all of us since you had just went on your rant about how awful he was. She’s mad that he’s with you, especially after you had gone on that rant about how you didn’t want boys at the school, and then of course the complaining about Harry,” she explained.
I was expecting to just be shocked right now, but I was at the point where I kind of just want to laugh at the irony. Christina was acting like I was the one so in the wrong and that I was just a bitch for keeping all of this from them when in reality she was just jealous and disliked me for it.
It all really made since now, I had noticed that she had seemed a bit off around me after that night Harry was in the dorm, but at the time I of course didn’t think to really think anything of it. I couldn’t help it when a laugh came out and the worried expression that Becca had on her face while waiting my reaction softened a bit and she smiled with me.
“The whole situation is pretty messed up, huh?” Becca said with a slight laugh and I nodded.
“Did Christina tell you all this?” I asked her because it seemed very unlike Christina to admit something like that in a conflict like this.
“She said that she had kind of like Harry, and I just pieced the rest together from other things she had let slip out from the past few days when we would talk about this,” she explained to me, and I nodded again.
“Well I guess I should head back to the dorm now,” Becca said after a few moments of silence.
“Uh yeah, you better get back,” I said, my mood sinking back down again by the second.
She gave me a small smile before turning around and walking back in the directions he came from, taking with her the hope that one of my friends was actually going to want to spend time with me again.