I had a bit of a headache when I woke up the next morning, but nothing that bothered me too much. Once my friends had gotten back from the party last night, they probably stayed up for another two hours talking about the party. When they had come back to the dorm though I had pretended that I was asleep so they wouldn’t try and talk to me because I had not been in the mood to discuss my night.
I had heard my friends talking about how they didn’t get why I had come back early considering that I was the one most nervously looking forward to the party and had them spend a long time helping me get ready. I was hopelessly trying to avoid them this morning, not wanting them to ask me anything about last night, but I knew that I couldn’t do that forever, I was just hoping they would forget about it sooner or later.
I dragged myself out of bed and went to pick something out from my closet to wear today. I noticed that my friends were still fast asleep, the result of the party and them staying up half the night talking. I wanted to say I felt a bit left out from their conversation last night, but I really had no right to, I chose not to talk to them because I had felt like they would make a big deal about me leaving early even though they probably wouldn’t since they’d be caught up in talking about how the night went for them, but still.
Lucky for them though we didn’t have classes today since it was still the weekend, tomorrow classes started back up. I was actually kind of wishing we had class today, it gave me something to do for most of the day. Today I had no idea what I was going to do since my friends were most likely going to be asleep until lunch. I really wanted to go down to in infirmary and get some aspirin or something from the nurse, but I was too nervous that I was going to be questioned by her about why I wanted it. I had just been being way too paranoid lately.
I guess the good thing about not having class today was the fact that I wasn’t going to have to see Harry so early in the morning in my first classes. I thought about lunch today though and if we were still going to meet at the coffee shop. I was considering just not going, but I couldn’t avoid situations I didn’t want to deal with forever.
Just as I had gotten ready and dressed in jeans and a shirt with the academy’s logo printed on it, I heard a noise coming from the area where the bunks were and I saw Becca getting up.
“Good morning,” she yawned once she saw that I was already up.
“Morning,” I said back to her.
“You have a good night last night?” she asked me.
“Yeah, I guess,” I said, hoping she wouldn’t ask me anything more.
“Was that Harry you had been talking to at the party last night?” Becca asked me.
“Um…” I hesitated, “Yeah, it was,” it was pointless denying it if she had seen me talking to him, if I continuously denied it, it would seem like there was something I was trying to hide and I did not want her to think I was hiding anything.
“He had a question about the study guide from a class we had together,” I told her, hoping she hadn’t seen how long we had been talking at the table.
“Okay good, so he’s not the guy you were nervous about?” she asked.
“Oh goodness no,” I said. Probably a bit too quickly and insistent but she didn’t seem to notice.
“Good, because you can do so much better than him. So how did it go with the mystery guy?” she asked since I obviously wouldn’t give in to any of their pleas for me to tell them who the guy was, what she said just a few moments ago being a reason why.
“It went fine,” I told her.
“Still not giving up any details on this boy, are you?”
“Nope,” I answered, and with that I grabbed my bag and my key and headed out the door.
I wasn’t exactly sure where I was going right now, but I just wanted to leave the dorm room for a while. I didn’t want any more questions asked about me. I knew she had asked me a few general questions, but since I felt so guilty about not telling them anything it felt like I was being bombarded with questions. Or paranoia was getting the better of me by thinking that maybe she knew that the guy I was apprehensive about was Harry and she was just waiting for me to tell her.
I decided that I would just clear my mind and walk around campus for a while or maybe find somewhere to sit outside and do some school work. I knew that the campus was probably going to be pretty quiet for the next hour or so since I figured most people wouldn’t be waking up until noon for lunch. I was walking by the boy’s dorm building when I saw Harry walking outside.
I kind of just stood in place, telling myself to keep walking but I couldn’t. The moment we made brief eye contact though I quickly started walking again and he didn’t follow after me. I’s not like I wanted him to anyway.
I had probably been walking for about twenty minutes when I had found myself in the quad now, the center of the campus, so I sat down on one of the benches and pulled out my calculus homework that I had never got to finish.
I was almost done with the worksheet when I noticed a new presence now sitting next to me. I didn’t bother to look up and see who it was because I thought if I ignored the person maybe they would leave and go sit at one of the many other empty benches in the quad.
“If I didn’t know any better I’d say you’re avoiding me,” I had looked up halfway through his talking as he stretched his arms out across the back of the bench.
“I’m not,” I mumbled as I looked back down at my work and scooted away from him a bit.
“You just confirmed my assumption of you avoiding me,” he said as he scooted closer to me.
“I’ve only been awake for an hour and only thirty minutes of that time was spent outside, that’s not a legitimate amount of time for you to confirm I’m avoiding you,” I told him.
“Yet you’ve managed to make me think that you are,” he said.
“What do you want?”
“I want to talk to you,” he said.
“Well what are you doing right now?”
“No, I mean about last night,” he told me, and I tensed up a bit since what I was afraid of happening was now happening.
“Here to apologize?” I said.
“Apologize?” he said with a laugh and I nodded.
“Babe I’m not sorry about anything from last night, and frankly I’m surprised you think I would be,” he told me.
He was right, I don’t know why I had even asked that, it just kind of came out because I wanted to know what he would say, if he actually cared that it bothered me.
“That’s not really wanted I wanted to ask you about anyway,” he told me.
“Then what did you want to ask me about?” I asked him.
“Were you drinking last night?” he asked, and I wasn’t really sure what to say.
I had been thinking that I had gotten away with it, Becca and I being the only ones who knew.
“What makes you think that?”
“I don’t know, probably the fact that you were giggling and not acting like yourself,” he told me.
“Not acting like myself?” I questioned.
I knew what he probably meant by that, but I wanted to hear what he would say.
“I don’t know, you were more upfront, playful and less tense,” he told me.
“You like me better like that, right? Compared to me right now,” I said.
“If I didn’t like the way you were right now then why would I bother spending my time on you?” he said to me.
“Because at first you had no choice because of the project,” I reminded him.
“But I didn’t have to work on the study guide with you,” he pointed out.
I hadn’t realized until now how close he was to me. I wasn’t exactly sure what was going on right now.
“I guess I was just nervous,” I admitted to him.
“Why?” he said with a slight laugh, moving closer to me. “I just was,” I said, but it came out as a whisper.
“Stop staring at me,” I said after a few moments of neither of us saying anything.
“Is it making you uncomfortable?” he asked.
“Yes, just do something, say something,” I told him.
“Like what?” he asked me.
“I don’t know,” replied.
To my surprise, he quickly leans in and kisses me. Before I could register what was happening, I felt my eyes close as I leaned in, not having much control over my actions, and not pushing him away like I had last night. Just as sudden as it happened, he broke away and we sit staring at each other.
“That’s not what I meant,” I told him referring to a few moments ago when I told him to stop staring and do something.
He gave me a crooked smile, “I knew what you meant,” he told me, as he got up from the bench and walked away, leaving me as confused as ever.