“Have fun day at school!” mom said happily and kissed my cheek fast before rushed out of the kitchen’s door. I just kept eating my toast slowly. Just didn’t care. I didn’t care for going to the school. It was all the same if I’d be here at home instead of being in that boring light brown building.
Didn’t matter what I wanted, finally I got to get up from the kitchen’s chair I sat. I swung a bag on my back and headed out. It was winter time in Australia and it was winding so hard. Hadn’t seen this windy since I had visited my auntie in Perth a couple of years ago. The wind was blowing my black hair onto my face. On my other hand I tried to keep my hair out of my face and on the other one I unlocked doors of my car. It didn’t take more than ten minutes to drive to school, but sometimes after school I drove a longer way to home to get some me-time listening music I wanted, loud.
At school it was noisy as always. It was Monday so everyone was telling each other how their weekends had been. Basically everyone wanted to tell others about theirs, but no-one was interested in other’s stories. I walked through the crowded corridors to my locker where I took some books. I was just about to shut the door when I heard someone’s voice near me.
“Umm, hello?” quite low and manly voice said sort of asking. I froze. I wasn’t sure if the voice was talking to me, but I didn’t want to turn around to find out. I had been in this school for two years and no one hadn’t even tried to speak to me at least one and half of that. My mom and my psychologist had decided I was depressed after I got bullied when I started dating my first girlfriend and I started to isolate myself from other people after that. I wasn’t, I just didn’t care for other people’s company nor opinion.
“Excuse me?” the voice behind me said and I felt someone coming closer. Finally I turned just to see a boy that looked like he just would have walked out of model-catalogue. He was very tall, had quite blond perfect hair and his eyes were shining bright blue. Even though he was wearing a school uniform just like me he looked like a model and I… well let’s say I hadn’t even washed my uniform for a while and kept it on my floor when wasn’t wearing it.
“Me?” I asked a bit stupidly, there were no people too close around us. The Model looked around us and laughed.
“Yeah you. Listen, I just moved here on Friday and of course my parents put me to a new school for the first thing. I would need some help…” The Model told me and I interrupted him. Didn’t want to hear his whole life story, so wanted to cut it a bit.
“With what?” I was a bit rude but as said I didn’t need company.
“Well, with my locker’s door for starters, it’s stuck.” I sighed. Probably wasn’t going to get rid of the blond before I helping him. “Okay, what’s your locker number?”
“It’s this one”, the model pointed out a locker couple of lockers on my right. I walked to the locker, hit the lock causing a huge “BANG!” and turned to the Model. “These doors do that. Just hit the lock hard and it should open.” I was about to leave, but the Model pointed out his hand.
“I’m Luke Hemming by the way.” As if I cared. I didn’t take the Model’s hand.
“I’m glad for you. Bye!” and I just walked away. I had took a couple of steps when I heard the Model speaking to me again.
“Hey, you don’t have to tell me your name, but I still said ‘for starters’ when you asked how you could help me.” I turned around to face the tall guy. I didn’t remember exactly how the conversation we had had two minutes ago had gone, but I was not going to hang out with this person any minute longer.
“Ask help from someone else!” I said rudely, again. This “rude”-thing had been my thing for a year at least.
“Well it takes only a minute”, the Model said. I had had enough, I stopped the next girl. She looked shocked when I took her by her arm, I’m not sure because she got surprised or because it was me who stopped her. “Excuse me, this Model –person needs some help, could you help him?” She glanced at the Model and smiled. The girl opened her mouth ready to say something, but the Model interrupted her. “No, I’m fine thank you. This Miss Rude here is helping me already”, he said and smiled. I’m sure the smile would’ve melt every normal girl’s heart, but didn’t work for me. I wasn’t normal.
The girl looked a bit unsure, but walked away after the Model reassured her everything was fine. “Why won’t you help me?” the Model asked me. I didn’t even answered, just walked away.
Didn’t take long that the Model was by my side again. “By the way, it’s Luke, not Model –person.”
“Do I care?” I pretended to think. “Oh, I don’t”, I said without stopping walking.
“Okay, that’s fine. But you do think I’m good looking if you call me the Model, right?” he continued annoying me.
“I don’t think models are beautiful. They’re dolls with masks. Without feelings, without identity.” Just like I wanted to, without feelings and identity, though I didn’t want to be a model.
“Oh…” he was silent two seconds before he asked me again. “Why you’re like that?”
“’Cause I don’t want to help you. I don’t have time for this”, I claimed.
“There’s still enough time to help me AND to get to the class on time”, Luke pointed out and was right.
I stopped and faced him again. “You just don’t take a hint?” I asked. “No, not without a good explanation”, he answered.
Okay, now I was ready to strangle this new, annoying person. I took a deep breath. “Tell me something first: why you decided to kill just my nerves?”
“You were the first one who looked like someone I’d like to hang out with”, he answered and looked honest, but I didn’t believe a word, I looked anything but the person he’d like to hang out with. I laughed mocking him.
“Do you think you look like someone who I’d like to hang out with?” I asked as coldly as I could before rushed away. I speed-walked to the first lesson.
I sat next to a wall and my class mates knew not to try sat next to me; all the chairs around me were empty. I was one of the first ones in the class so I had to wait for the class to fill in with the laughing co-students. A teacher started his lesson once he assumed everyone were on their seats, though there were still many empty seats.
Didn’t take long until there was a knock on the door. The same, very irritating, Model walked in. He apologized the teacher and told him that he was a new student and blah blah. A couple of rows in front of me I saw some girls staring at the Model and giggling together. I wanted to puke.
The teacher told the Model to take a seat so the lesson could be continued. The blond boy turned for the first time to face the class. It didn’t take long till he noticed me. He waved his hand and headed to me. I wanted to sink under the floor and turned my eyes away from the boy. I didn’t see it, but soon I heard how a seat next to me was pulled under the desk. I still didn’t look at him, but was surprised he said nothing. The class continued in silence between the two of us. After 45 minutes the teacher let the class go. The Model got up before I did. He turned at me, smiled and asked: “Same time tomorrow?”
“You know she’s gay?” said a voice behind us before I had a chance to answer. We both turned around to see William, one of our classmates. Long silence followed his words.
“Aaaaannnddd…?” the Model wanted William to continue. William blushed a little.
“So you’ve no chance with her.” Yeah, William had tried to ask me out when I had started in the same school with him. Notice word “tried”.
“Ah, and I’m dating someone too”, the Model said. He turned to me and said loud: “We have more in common than I thought!” I wasn’t sure if he joked about me being lesbian or not, but I didn’t want to stay there to figure it out. I turned on my heels and ran away.
*3 months later*
Well, he wasn’t joking about my sexuality, but he wasn’t a gay either. Luke just wanted William to shut up.
After a really hard start, we had become friends. Luke was now my best friend and we spent all the time together.
One night we had just finished our homework and we just sat on Luke’s room. I sat on his unmade bed whilst he sat on a chair.
“Have you ever kissed a boy?” Luke asked interested. We talked quite often about my sexuality, as it was quite a big thing for me. Just as often as we talked about Luke’s girl things. Well, you could say we talked our girl problems. I had had a crush on this girl, who was a couple of years older than us. Obviously she didn’t even know who I was, but like all the girls in the school, she knew very well who Luke was. Every girl in our school was in love with him, even teachers.
“I have, a couple of years ago, when I was 14. It was ok, but have to say I prefer girls”, I answered.
“What makes the difference?” Luke wanted to know.
“Girls kiss more with passion, softly, boys more like… I don’t know, just want it to be done. The boy I kissed at least did.” I looked at Luke’s face. First he looked concerned, but then a wide smile came to his face.
“Wanna hear something funny?” he asked and I nodded. “I’ve got this friend, I don’t know why, but many girls have asked him out, so I suppose he’s quite okay looking or something. He has answered to all of these girls ‘no’, because he already likes someone.” I was trying to interrupt my friend, but he didn’t let me. “He has no chances with the girl, no matter how nice, cool or good-looking he is. He’s stuck in a friend-zone, because this girl likes other girls.”
We were silent for a while, before I pointed it out. “Luke, you don’t have any friends.”