Taking a deep breath I gathered up what was left of my resolve. It was finally time to put away my much tamer and gentler consciousness. I was left with no exits and it pained me completely to know that my father’s request has pushed me this far over the edge, enough to follow through with this madness. My eyes began to sting again threatening to spill liquid over the lids, ha-ha how sad of me to break so quickly, pathetic actually.
Taking a shallow breath I bit the inside of my cheek just enough to shock my eyes into drying. I began to study the intricate needle work on my bedding trying and failing to calm my racing nerves but the dark and colorful threads were so entrancing that my thoughts began to slow. Just like the oils that sprung from our wastelands I mused.
My breathing slowed and by heart began to pace at a much steadier rhythm lulling my eyelids into a hooded position. Closing my eyes once and for all I stilled my body, letting my mind wander freely from one jumbled memory into another pulling me deeper into my subconscious until I felt a slight painful tug. Carefully, I reached for it straining to make contact with the freezing dark pits that I knew resided within me. Quicker than I would have thought possible I felt the biting ice envelop me overpowering my insignificant sense of self. I stood no chance.
Slowly the cold took hold, searing into my upper consciousness pushing and kicking me to take its place in the prison which I call my sub consciousness. Slowly and painfully the intruder spread its form raking itself into my chest and rushed its icy phantom limbs into each of my own. Claiming my body. My blood turned to ice grating itself across each vein making my focus sharper and my senses hyper aware, until finally the agony subsided. There was no turning back now. It was time to let my other half take control. It was time to let the monster out.
“Ha-ha, well isn’t this better my dear little Asarza hmm?” her voice, well my voice was still the same. But there was a slight change in it, you could hear the tinge of authority it held a slight steely edge that promised terrible things if it wasn’t listened to, a voice of power. “No beast.” I said into the void of our joint consciousness. “I need your power for the time being and I was willing to hand you my body to reach my goals, but it will not be forever.”
I heard her chuckle once again it would have given me shivers if I still held my body. “Be that as it may Asarza I have told you many times before, we are not that different you and I, we need each other just as this body needs air. You know this very well. I am your tool, your source of power just as you are my host and source of life.”
The beast said all this as she walked over to the large oval mirror that hung near my closet. She took a long look at my body probably calculating my durability and athleticism as she twisted and stretched my torso and limbs. She stared at the mirror examining my raven dark hair that was braided to the side. It was bare except for the crown that sat atop my head. She moved her gaze to my face looking into my eyes that were as dark as obsidian and just as sharp.
She tilted my head to the side catching the kaleidoscope of colors that flashed as fast as lighting just outside my irises making them look like the dark oils in the wastelands. The beast always seemed fascinated by this whenever she took control, taking time out of her examinations to stare intently into the obsidian. Nothing else claimed her fascination on my face she had once described it as “plain as any other humans”. She seemed satisfied.
“Well Asarza it looks like you had heeded my advice your body seems well muscled and toned, it seems you have grown a couple inches too. Good. This is very good.” The beast seemed slightly impressed as she said this. “I only did what you told me because I knew the repercussions that would come if I disobeyed. Do not take it as a submission to your will!” I growled into the void.
She chuckled again infuriating me to no end. “Be that as it may I have gathered information on your trials.” My self-conscious was sent into a chaotic frenzy. “I was able to glean information from you as well from your surroundings and might I say I’ve got a lot in store for us.” She was still at the mirror as she said this ending her sentence with a slight smirk. Oh gods that smirk, what have I done?