College life led up to one of the most valuable days of my life. The time in between these most valuable days I spent studying and training with strangers that, after some time, became good friends. Yet, in those friendships, I never quite opened up myself as I had done before; I avoided any pain or drama that may have come with it. Consequently, Ana and I kept our secrets in my diary, something that I must admit that I still do; I may seem structured and secure in appearance, but in appearance only. I am more of a wreck than I let people see.
My appearance had changed measurably in the past two years, I had gotten to where, I guess, I had always wanted to be: 7 stone. And still, I felt a hollow feeling inside; I still craved the urge to keep going with Ana, with the lifestyle, and so I turned from anorexia to bulimia from time to time. My frame was small but no one would ever guess my current disposition if I hadn't told them; I still looked like me. Small face and high cheek bones, thankfully with a little less cheek: my cheeks were always a let down for me as they raised whenever I smiled, causing me to feel conscious in glasses. I was different.
But I wasn't complaining. I mean, after three or four years of wanting this perfect body, I felt as if I finally had one. When I saw myself, yes, I still felt larger-than-life, but I had a thigh gap. And, I guess I did feel content.
Anyway, I had kept in touch with my best friend Skylar. Throughout all we had been with, I wasn't about to let our relationship go yet, even if that meant being the one to take the train down to see her. And to be honest, I would never have made it to the industry without her. To be where I am now.
On the last week, a mini graduation, it started with a phone call...
"Good afternoon, this is Marie Mathis calling for Malik Galleries?" I began, my voice was strong and assured.
"Yes, hello Ms. Mathis, Mr. Malik will be on the line in a minute, could you hold a moment please?" The voice was young and soft, seeming very awake, possible also very pretty.
"Of course" I beamed, hoping that I would be making a positive impression. The line held for a long while, soft pop music playing in the background. In fact, I just recognised the voice of Brad from The Vamps when the music was abruptly interrupted.
"Ms. Mathis?" Wow. The voice was still young and confident but obviously not as awake as the receptionist had been. Husky, but yet completely attractive. Familiar chills made goosebumps run along the length of my arms.
"Yes it is, I assume this is Mr. Malik" I put on my best smile, actually genuinely. The voice was deep and his breathing was steady, I could just imagine his breath on my neck.
"The one and only" Smiling bashfully, I lightened at his comment, the conversation becoming less and less formal as it continued.
"Skylar!!!" I squealed through the phone.
"Hey, what's up?" Her ears were obviously recovering from the sound of her reply. I softened my voice.
"Guess who is coming down for an interview and sleepover?"
"Well, you don't have any other friends so I guess you mean me?" She half teased. I could almost see her smiling and grinned myself.
After a night of ordering pizza and having heartfelt conversations, we were ready for today. Waking up with Skylar's feet in my face, I groaned, pulling myself from the heat of the duvet. Pretty soon we were up and showered, all that was left to do was to go over what we had planned to say, cook breakfast and get dressed.
Hardest jobs were first so we decided what we were going to wear. It was really quite easy for me as I pulled on what I had first worn for my first day at college but went full on formal with my Christian Louboutin six inch Daffodils and black cross body satchel. All that was needed was a little red to wine lipstick gradient, which took no tine at all.
"What?" I asked Skylar who was staring intensely at me.
"Nothing..." she smiled uneasily as if she was going to continue.