Zoe's POV ;
I'm still sitting on him, he's hugging me, and the movie is still playing.
"What if I'll never be ready?" I kept looking at the tv
"What?" He didn't listen at the first time
"What if I'll never be ready ashton"
"Why are you so worried about that? Zoey you're 15"
"It's hard to act like a 15 year old girl when you date a 20 year old guy"
He paused the movie "I've never forced you to do something you don't want to and you know that"
"I didn't say you did"
"But I know what you're thinking"
I was still laying on him.
"Just play the movie"
"Say what you're afraid of if we'll not have sex"
"I'm not afraid of anything"
"Do you want me to say it?"
I got up from him, looked on his hand, where the remote was, took it away, and played the movie.
"You can pause it on your own or I'll take it back and pause it myself"
"Let me watch the movie"
He climbed on top of me and took it away, then pause it again.
"Correct me if I'm wrong, but what you had... What you have in mind.. Is that I'll dump you if you say no to sex?"
"Do you want something to drink? I'm thirsty" I got up
"Zoey. Yes or no" he grabbed my wrist
"Please don't make me answer that"
"Yes or no"
It took me a while to answer.. He's so protective towards me and I keep thinking he's going to hurt me in some way.. I'm filling my head with thoughts about him, at the end I'm the one who's hurting him. "Yes"
He let go of my arm.
His head faced the floor and he rubbed his hair with his palms.
"What do you want me to say?" He got up "I don't know what to do anymore Zoey. You keep thinking I'm going to hurt you, god knows why. What have I done that makes you think that way?! I understand your fears. I really do. But I'm just sick of this."
I kept in silence. I had nothing to say. He was right in every single word that came out from his mouth.
"Grab your stuffs" he took his car keys and opened the front door
I don't want to go home. Not like that.
"But we've got a night off"
"Well you ruined it" he went out and didn't even wait for me to join him
We didn't talk for the whole drive as always.
He stopped where he always does and waited for me to get out.
I just left without even say a goodbye. I knew he wouldn't care.
I walked in. Dad and Alice had dinner.
"Hey! Just in time. Join us.. There's another's plate" dad took a bite from his baked potatoes
"No thanks" I gave them a fake smile "me and Emma ate already at her place"
"I'll save you some leftovers in the fridge then"
"Okay.. My head's hurting.. I'm gonna lay down a bit" I lied
I went upstairs, closed the door after me, threw my bagpack, my jacket, and my phone on the floor, and crushed on my bed as my face faces the pillow.
I didn't mean that it'll go this way. I just wanted to have a quiet afternoon with my boyfriend... Instead, I got an 'you ruined it' sentence that'll stay in my head for a long time.
It's just 7pm but I hardly slept last night.. I took a shower and then went straight to bed.
The good mood feeling that filled me this morning, exchanged with a bad one.