Zoe's POV ;
Last night was the best night ever. I woke up on the couch, still having him in my arms. His messy curly hair falls down on his face. He looks exhausted.
I brushed his hair from his face, and then laid my head back on his chest, still hugging him.
I felt his palm on my left cheek.
"Zoey? Wake up baby.. "
"Let me sleep"
"It's noon already.. Wake up.."
"What?! You're lying"
He showed me the time on his watch
"Ashton I have to get out of here"
"My dad. He thinks I'm with Em and now.." I wore my boots
"Exactly. He thinks you're with Em." He didn't let me finish
I got up from the couch.
"Don't you think it's weird he barely sees me cause I'm always with 'Em'?" I walked to grab my jacket
"If I say no will you stay?"
"No" I smiled. "It's not like it's our last time seeing each other.. Drive me home?"
"Sure" he looked disappointed
We were almost at my street. "Can you stop here? I'm afraid he'll notice"
"Okay" he sighed
I feel like I'm letting him down but I don't know why.
"Thank you. For everything." I kissed him on the cheek
"I already miss you"
On my way back I texted Em 'thank you for everything, I'm on my way home now, and I have so much to tell'
I unlocked the front door and walked in.
"Hello?" I looked in the living room "is anybody home?" I looked in Alice's bedroom. The house was empty. Then I walked to the kitchen, dad likes to leave notes.. And there it was.
"I'll be back in a few hours.. Alice's at a friends house, she went sleepover. Love, dad."
I went upstairs to take a shower from last night's club. Then I called dad.
"Hey Zoe. How was last night?"
"It was fun. Me and Em laughed a lot. When are you coming back?"
"An hour or so"
"Bye dad" I hanged up
I went downstairs to watch some tv.. Friends is my favorite show ever. Saturday noon, a towel on my head, friends marathon. Sounds good to me.
After four episodes I called dad again.
"Where are you dad? I'm starving"
"It might take a little longer than I expected..eat without me okay?"
"Okay" I sighed
"Good then. Bye honey"
I could stay with Ashton instead of sitting here all alone..
I texted dad. "I'm going to grab something with Em"
Then I called ashton.
"Hey, it's me."
"Who the fuck is Alicia?!"
He laughed "Just kidding baby. Why did you call? Something happened?
"My dad isn't here and I'm hungry"
He kept in silence
"I told him I'm going to grab something with 'Em' Ashton"
He didn't speak
"Hey are you there?"
"I'm here I'm here"
"Can we meet?"
"Pick me up"
"I'll be there in 10"
While I waited him to arrive I played another episode. I love this show.
I texted Em we're 'eating lunch together' and she responded 'have fun love' . I love her.
He's here. I turned the tv off.
I grabbed my jacket and walked to his car.
"Hey" I smiled
"Hey" he stared at the dashboard
I notice he wears a long sleeve shirt, which was pretty weird cause it's really hot today.
"Hey what's wrong?" I brushed his hair
"Can we drive to my place or.."
He didn't speak at all. I don't know what's going on but something happened and he's not telling me.
He unlocked his apartment and we walked in.
"Can you tell me what's going on right now?"
"I think I might have done something stupid. Really stupid."
"Like what?" I held his palms to calm him down a bit
He walked to sit on the couch and I followed him.
"Promise me you won't get mad."
"Ashton what is it?"
His hand was shaking
He took his palms away and lifted his left sleeve up.
When he took his shirt off on the 'truth or dare' thing, I didn't notice it. There were scars. Scars everywhere. Some were new, some were old. I moved my fingers from scar to scar. Why would he do that to himself? Why would he hurt himself? What problems did it solved him? Am I the reason for that?
I just hugged him. I didn't know what to say. And then I couldn't take it anymore, I cried.
"Zoey? Are you okay?" He pushed me back from his chest to make an eye contact
"Why would you do that to yourself?"
He wiped my tears.
"Hey don't cry.. I don't know.. I felt like this was the solution"
"Solution for what?!" I backed off from his hand "did I made you do this?" Tears began to drop even harder
"What?! Why would you think that?! No!" He didn't give up on wiping my tears and tried again
"So why? Who made you do that?" I let him
"Ashton I'm so sorry.."
"Don't be sorry.. I made a mistake, everybody does. You're the reason I stopped."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean you made me stop...stop crying it breaks my heart to see you that way" he wiped some more tears
"Promise me something okay?" I looked into his eyes
"No matter what happens, to me, to you, to your neighbors dog, I don't fucking care. You're not going back into this" I stroked some of his scars "promise me"
He broke an eye contact "I promise"
"Look into my eyes and say it"
He looked "I promise Zoey"
I laid on him, playing with his wrists, taking care of them.
"Zoey I'm fine..you said you're hungry....let's order in?"
"Yeah.." I kept stroking them
"I kinda need this hand..you know, to dial a phone number" he laughed
"Use the other one, I'm not leaving it. I'll starve I don't care"
So many thoughts passed by. Thoughts about him, about the reasons he'd do that to himself. In the minute I started thinking about him, holding that blade, making himself bleeding, I started tearing again.
"I'll call you later okay?" He hanged up
He lifted me up from his body and I wiped my tears, he turned me over so I'll face him.
He held my palms "Listen to me now, I did this cause I felt bad, I did this cause I felt unwanted, I did this cause I thought no one will care, and then you came. You filled all my empty spaces.. You made me stop. So now I want you to stop crying over something that doesn't exist anymore. Okay?"
I took my palms away, then set on my knees to make the hight differences even, laid my palms on his cheeks, and kissed him.
I wanted to give him love, to give him something he didn't feel for a long time.
He backed off "Where did that come from?"
"Ashton just.. Kiss me"
I started kissing him again. This time he didn't back off. I hope he feels better.
He backed off "it's not that I don't like it.. I just.. Your stomach, it's literally screaming feed me."
He dialed the phone number and ordered Chinese.
He walked to the door.
"Thanks man" he closed the front door
He handed me one of the boxes, it has noodles in it. It brings up some memories. I'm just thinking that if I had listened to Em, I wouldn't be here eating these noodles with him.
"Thanks" I took it from him
We finished eating and I laid my head on his chest, he played with my hair.
"Shit I have to call my dad"
"It means you're leaving?" He looked upset
"I hope not.."
I dialed his number.
"Hey dad did you come home already?"
"No I have to fix some more things in here.. Are you with Emma?"
"Yeah..we're eating noodles. Listen, her mom begged me to stay the night.." Ashton smiled "can I?"
"Zoe it's your seconds night in a row at their house.. I think you should come home."
"Dad I didn't even ask...her mom came into the room and saw that we're having fun..then she asked me if I can stay the night..please"
"What about shower and clothes?"
"I took a shower when I came home and she'll borrow me some clothes. I'm good"
"Okay then. Have fun sweetie"
"Thanks dad. I will" I hanged up
I texted Em quickly 'I'm staying the night at your house'
"So..what will you say if I tell you we can hug each other all night without worrying about my dad?"
"Oh I wish.. When do I drop you?"
"No Ashton I'm serious.."
"So it means I can do this..." He rubbed my cheek softly "without worrying about the time?"
I closed my eyes "yeah.."