Today started bad. Don't get me wrong, I'm standing behind every single word I've said last night, but I also feel bad because it ended this way. Maybe I've said it in a wrong way, maybe she understood it wrongly, maybe the tone was the problem.. Maybe I screwed this whole thing up in seconds. I don't regret it, in fact, I feel proud of myself for letting it out, finally. Since I know her she has done all she wanted, whenever she wanted, stepping on me.. Stepping on my opinions.. Well now it's over. It's sad, but it's over.
* lost in stereo lost in stereo *
An unknown phone number
"Hey. It's Michael."
"How did you get this number?"
"I have my own ways."
"You need anything or.."
"Yeah yeah. Can we meet? For like a coffee or something. My treat."
"Umm yeah sure. When?"
"Tomorrow? 6:30.. Sounds good?"
"I'll be there."
"Don't you want the coffeehouse name?"
"Yeah.. Sure.. I was checking if you.. Umm."
"I'll be there."
"Goodnight." He hung up
I didn't go to school today. The thought of having the same day like yesterday kept me in bed.
Ashton texted something about good morning and another thing but I was still sleepy and fell back asleep before replying him back.
You know those days that are like summer vacation ones? When you wake up late, having breakfast at afternoon time, watching tv all day, get fat.. That was one of those days.
I told dad I'm going to grab a coffee with a friend and like always, he bought it. Lying has became something.. Normal. I know it's just Michael, I know we're nothing to each other but friends, and I know my dad will freak out anyways.
The outfit was pretty girly. High waisted blue jeans with a white short sleeve crop top and a chocker. Vans as usual, and light makeup cause I was too lazy to do more than that.
It was a nice place, looked more like a home kind of thing.. With couches more than chairs and bar seats.
"Hey." He got up to hug me
"Hey." I set next to him
"You will drink..?"
I honestly didn't know what to choose. The only coffee I drink is the one I make myself at home and also because that's the only thing I can't actually burn.
He called the waitress over and said some word I can't even pronounce because his accent was too deep..
"This place is nice.."
"Yeah it's great." He took a sip from the drink he already had
"So.. You wanted to talk."
"Yeah. Yeah I did."
"I know what happened between you and Emma."
Great. And to think I was actually starting to like him.
"Please tell me you didn't call me for that."
"Honestly, what did you think we're going to talk about? Ashton?" He smiled
"I don't know. Michael, I really like you. Don't ruin this."
"Relax. I'm not going to lecture you. I just want you to hear what I have to say."
"But it won't matter to me. I don't know what she told you, but it's not true. It wasn't like that, and to be honest, you don't know me. She neither." I got up "look, I have to go. Thank for the coffee.."
He grabbed my wrist "cut the bullshit and sit down."
I was a little surprised about his reaction but I set anyways.
"Hear me out. Then do whatever you want."
"Look, she's broken. And before you'll scream" he lowered his voice "that I'm in her's side, I'm no one's side. She's my cousin, and I love her, but it doesn't effect on the way I see things on the surface. She doesn't look good. You either."
"Thanks." I replied sarcastically
"I don't know what you fought on, but I'm sure it doesn't worth that feeling. Am I right?"
"We've been like this for two days.. Let me get used to the fact.. Thank you." I referred to the waitress, handing me the coffee "... Im freaking mad at her. What she did was wrong. And I'm sorry that I don't feel like fixing things right now."
"I didn't say right now. I'm just showing you what I see."
"Michael I didn't ask for your opinion." I put the cup on the table.
"I wasn't expecting you to like what I had to say."
"So all of this was made to annoy me. That's what you're saying."
"Okay now you're just putting words into my mouth. I'm lightning up the situation. That's all."
"Well I don't need that." I got up once again. "And tell that to your cousin as well. I don't need people to take care of me. I'm a big girl." I took 5 bux out of my pocket and put it next to my fully cup. Not worrying too much about the actual price or if tip included "thanks for.. This. Bye."
And just like that. I left. Back home, back to my bed.
They keep doing that. Keep thinking they know what's good for me. No one knows what's good for me.
Another day started, with the same feeling the rest of them had. I still feel the same about her. That she has made a mistake.
* lost in stereo lost in stereo *
"Hey." It's ashton
"Hi." I sighed
"What? Umm.. Nothing.. Just tired that's all."
"Yes Ashton don't piss me off."
He didn't say anything
"I'm sorry.. I'm.. Confused."
"I called because I have reservations for tonight. I can cancel it if you don't feel like going."
"No no.. I'm good. Really."
"Okay. I'll pick you up at 7ish?"
"Bye honey." He hung up
I finished school and took a nap after it.
Finals are close and I didn't even start studying. I've never been a good student. Never did my homework, always got lectured, always got into detentions.. In here I'm practically an angel. I'm not carrying the 'bad girl' tittle, I just look at this differently. Every student gets graded according to his abilities and mine's are.. Fail.
I didn't know what restaurant he'll take me to so I wore something I thought will fit everything. It was a tight pretty short red dress with long sleeves. It was simple, but beautiful. I took shoes from Alice's. Black knee boots she never uses. I added red lipstick that matched the dress and all the rest of the makeup routine. I put my hair up in a messy bun cause I had no time styling it and went out.
"Hey." I gave him a partly true smile
"I mean.. Wow."
"How come I never.. Why do you.. We should go out more often."
"You look good too."
He kept staring
I actually had no clue what restaurant it'll be but I'm happy I wore this outfit. It looked very fancy.. We chandeliers and a guy who accept your order and another one who takes you to your table... A total expensive mess.
We took out seats and a waiter came to read the specials. It all sounded French and fancy.. And pricey.
"Ashton.. Why are we here?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean this is super expensive.."
"We could've gone to a picnic you know."
"So what do you want..?" He ignored my opinion about the money thing and looked at his menu
"I don't even know how to read this thing. Order for me?"
He called the waiter back, and order 5 different unpronounceable things.
He held my palm in his, on the table, smiling at me.
It felt so good just to watch him handling this. Ordering me.. Drinking his wine.. It looked attractive.
"How was school?"
"Good.." I lied
I'm lying so he won't get worried or try to fix things like Michael and Emma tried to. I can deal with it.
"I didn't go today."
"Mm." I took a sip from my water "Can I try?" I referred to his wine
"You won't like it." He smiled
"You don't know.."
He laid back and waited for me to try it.
"Never mind. You seem serious."
"No no.. I wanna see it."
"I won't. One sip."
I took a sip and it felt terrible.
"Mm.. It's good.." I tried to smile
He laughed quietly "you obviously can't act.."
"What? I like it."
"Then take another one." He rested his elbow on the table and his palm supporting his head. Waiting for that second sip.
"No no.. You seen to like it more than I do. I'll save it."
"Okay.. Although I'm sure it's okay. You can have another sip if you want."
"No I'm good. Really."
The cheque arrived and he paid it all. I was afraid to check how much was it, and I also didn't want to offend him by doing.
He started driving
"I had a great time.."
"Me too." He stroked my hair but kept his eyes on the road "coming over?"
"I don't know.. My dad."
"Did he say something last time?"
"So he won't start now."
"Last time he was asleep."
"What stops him from sleeping tonight?"
"I don't want to take risks that's all."
"You, being with me, in this car, is a risk."
"Thanks for reminding me."
"No I mean, we take a risk every time we're together.."
"I'm asking you out of being polite you know."
"So what are you saying exactly?"
"That you're coming over."
"Not again. Please."
"Stop worrying. It'll be okay."
It'll never be okay.
We arrived to his place. It stayed the same. Like it waited for me since the last visit until now. I looked at the kitchen, at the living room, at the hallway. And at him, smiling."
"What? What did I do?"
"Nothing. It's just the way your roam your eyes.."
I walked to the couch and he went to do something in the kitchen.
"You didn't tell me why you didn't go to work today.."
"I just didn't feel to." He came back "I worked late last night so I took a day off." Holding two glasses of wine
"Oh.. You didn't have to. Really.."
He handed me one of them and I didn't know what to do. Or actually..
I took the glass from his hand and put them both on the coffee table. "I feel like having sex."
Good one Zoe.
I took his jacket off "yeah yeah. Sex."
I opened his buttoned shirt and threw it on the floor.
"No time.." I pushed him back on the couch and kissed him, then moved to his belt and opened it as well
He grabbed my wrist and pulled me to be on top of him "what's the rush?"
His eyes are beautiful. You could disappear in them without noticing.
We stayed like this for a 30 seconds or so..
"I love you."
I have no idea where those words came from, but I had the urge to let them out.
He gave me a tiny smile and flipped over so he's on top of me, kissing passionately.
He pulled away "I love you too." And continued.
"Wait. I don't have a.."
"It's okay. I do."
"You won't miss any chance will you?"
"Not with this lady." He went back to kissing
My dress was off, and so as my bra. He moved to neck kisses and I let a moan out. Getting goosebumps with every touch.
* lost in stereo lost in stereo *