I walk through the front door and into the kitchen as I put down the heavy bags full of Christmas food shopping. I stretch my arms and pretend to not feel the ache in my muscles, I should really start going to the gym. Anne-Marie walks in and puts down the last bag as she ushers me out of the kitchen, not allowing me to help her with putting away the groceries.
The sun hits me in the face when I walk into the garden where I can see Ashton lounging around on the grass with a guitar next to him while he’s quickly scribbling down some words into a notebook. He looks up as soon as my body blocks the sunlight that fell on his notebook.
“Hi. Back already?” He signs while squinting his eyes when looking into the sun.
“Yeah, your Mum and I got everything we need for Christmas dinner.” I sign to him while sitting down next to him on the grass, stretching out my legs so the sun can tan my naked legs that are peeping out of my denim shorts. “What is that?” I sign as I point to the notebook Ashton is currently writing in.
“Just songs I’m working on.”
“Can I help with writing?”
Ashton let out a little laugh, his eyes connecting with mine again: “You already have.” As he proceeds to scribble down a few words, hiding what he’s writing down by shielding the book with his arm.
“… leave you two … movie. … upstairs to read. Ashton, … you’re Santa tonight … ?” Anne-Marie says right before she leaves to go upstairs.
“The film is kind of boring, though. Let’s get everything ready for tomorrow morning.” I tell Ashton as I jump up and start getting the living room ready for Christmas morning.
“Calum is throwing a party tonight.” Ashton hesitantly signs to me.
“We should go.”
“Ash,” I pause. “Parties are social gatherings. I won’t be able to have a proper conversation with anyone, I can’t do it.”
“But all of my friends will be there, I want you to meet them.” Ashton sadly tells me.
“Friends I won’t be able to understand.”
“I’ll be there though! I’ll interpret!” His optimism and persuasiveness nearly gets the best of me, but I need to be realistic.
“What happens when you get drunk though? You’ll just start speaking and I’ll be left out. Parties are not really my thing, I’m very sorry, you can go though. I don’t mind.” I tell him as I walk into the kitchen and start raiding cupboards and the fridge looking for my basic biscuits ingredients as I leave Ashton to finish up putting away the last few presents.
A tap on my shoulder makes me turn around. “I won’t go without you. I’m staying here with you, doing whatever you want to do.”
“Right now I want to bake biscuits, because that’s become kind of a tradition, I always bake them on Christmas Eve so we have fresh biscuits on Christmas day.”
A smile spreads across his face as he quickly pulls out all the ingredients that I couldn’t find. It is fairly obvious that he’s excited about freshly bakes biscuits, but disappointment remains in his eyes and I can tell he really wanted me to join him for the party.
Another thing that’s quite obvious is that Ashton has never baked before, he probably has never even cooked a meal before. The flour that has tainted his hair making it look like he has aged sixty years within a few minutes and the few bits of eggshell that I had to fish out of the bowl after I allowed him to crack the eggs proof my theory correctly. Even Eliot has made less of a mess when baking with me.
The tray is safely placed in the oven, by me may I add because I would never trust Ashton with a burning hot oven, he might set himself on fire. I open the fridge to put away the milk, but before I can close the door a pair of strong arms wrap around me twist me around.
“Let’s dance.” I can just about read off of Ashton’s lips that are only barely lit by the only light that is on in the kitchen right now which is located inside the refrigerator.
“But I can’t hear the music.” I protest.
“There is no music,” Ashton tells me using his hands to sign this time. “Just feel.”
He slowly pulls me close to his body and I rest my head against his chest where I can feel a slight thumping where his heart is working to keep his body healthy and strong. He has a firm grip with one of his hands on my waist, the other one he uses to hold my hand. Slowly but steadily he moves me around the kitchen, carefully guiding me, I can feel myself relax as I start to feel the beating of his heart telling me at what pace we’re moving. My eyes fall shut as we keep on dancing when I feel him press little kisses to the top of my head, I can feel his breath fan through my hair and his lips ghost over my head. My guess is that he’s talking, but I don’t want to look up to see what he’s saying, scared of interrupting our moment.
But then the smell of burnt biscuits interrupts our moment.
I swiftly pull out the tray using oven gloves as I look at the black biscuits and I curse myself for letting them burn. I have never in my entire life burnt any of my baking and I don’t know why, but tears fill up my eyes as I start signing how stupid I was for not paying attention.
“Hey,” Ashton softly interrupts as he wipes away my tears like he always does before leaving a soft kiss on my lips. “It’s okay, Lizzy. We don’t need biscuits.”
“But we do! It’s tradition! But I burnt them and we can’t even make any more biscuits, because I used the last eggs and all the shops are closed, but I need to bake these biscuits, okay? They’re Eliot’s favourites and I miss him, I need to bake them.”
“Don’t cry, Lizzy. It’s okay, I’ll drive to Calum’s and steal his eggs.”
“You’re only going to Calum’s so you can stay at his party. Go to Luke’s or Michael’s.”
“Babe, let’s be realistic here. They’ll both be at the party. Please stop crying okay, I’ll be back before you know it.” He quickly pecks me on my lips before he walks out with his car keys. As soon as he shuts the door I start cleaning the burnt biscuits away and set everything up to be remade. After which I just wait.
Ten minutes pass.
Twenty minutes pass.
Thirty minutes pass.
The clock keeps ticking and I keep getting more impatient with every passing second.
After forty minutes I’ve had enough and FaceTime Ashton only to see that he answered my call with a beer bottle in his hand, after which something inside me just snaps.
“Why the heck are you drinking? You said you were only picking up eggs!”
“Lizzy, don’t be mad. I’m so sorry. It’s not-”
“Save it, Irwin. I don’t care. If you really wanted to ditch me for a stupid party you could’ve just told me, you know? God, you can be a real asshole sometime. You know what? Just stay there, don’t even bother coming back to finish these biscuits, I don’t care anymore.”
I quickly disconnect the call as I see him trying to sign to me, but I refuse to look at it. I angrily make my way to the guest bedroom instead of Ashton’s bedroom, because there’s no way I’ll be sharing a bed with a wasted guy. I get so frustrated that I end up throwing one of the pillows across the room.
I glance at my phone to see that after another twenty minutes he has finally giving up on trying to FaceTime me again. The anger doesn’t subside as I glance at the time on my phone and see that it’s already Christmas day.
I feel myself blaming Ashton for ruining the beginning of my Christmas, for ruining the biscuits by distracting me with dancing, for not having enough eggs, for not understanding that biscuits are my Christmas tradition, for staying at the party, for lying when he said he’d rather stay with me, for not even bothering to come home after that conversation and I end up blaming him for mostly everything that has happened.
And eventually my anger lulls me to sleep.
Anyways there will be two or three chapters left after this one and maybe an epilogue (I've already written the epiloge, but I don't know if you would want it, bc personally I believe some stories are better without one. So tell me what you'd prefer.)
So thank you for reading even though it's not great
And feel free to leave any kind of suggestion, feedback, comments or thoughts here xx