"Louis! I have a customer for you!"
I turned around and looked at the bar. Ian, my boss, was holding a phone in his hand, while trying to balance three beers on a black tray. I ran to him, took the phone from his hands and pressed it to my ear.
"Hello?" I asked.
There was a reply, but I couldn't hear it because of the noise in the crowded room. I looked around the room for an escape, and ended up in the back, behind the bar. I stepped outside, almost wearing nothing. "Hello?"
"Louis." A voice said, making me jump almost a metre into the air.
"Uhm, yes, sorry, lots of noise, here now." I fumbled with my shirt. I always get nervous when I talk to customers.
"I want to rent you all night."
"No way, sir, I only do one hour services. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got work to do, so bye," I hung up and sighed, "Lunatic."
Whenever somebody says they want me for an entire night, I start to think that they belong in a mental facility. How can they expect me to be able to keep going all night? Psychos. So I returned to my job as a waitress, in a small skirt and a white dress shirt. The men seems to love this outfit on me, and as I walk back and forth between the bar and tables, they all look at me, instead of the guy working his ass off to gain money on stage. I felt kind of sorry for Tristan. Nobody ever looked at him, and he never gained as much as me, because I had my shift while he was on stage. I've told him that he can just do a show with me, and then we can split the money, but he always says no for some reason. I think I intimidate him. He's always got a sweet tooth for me. He keeps telling me to be careful, to watch out for myself, and once he actually told me to quit this job, because he didn't want me to get hurt.
He walked down the catwalk and grabbed the pole, swung himself up and around, and back down on the floor of the stage. But somehow he landed in a wrong position, his foot to much to the left, and he twisted his foot. I threw everything and ran to the back of the stage. I looked through the curtains, he ended his routine and walked off stage, the nasty men applauding him. When he saw me, he started crying and finaly collapsed onto the floor. I ran over to him, held him in my arms and called for help. One of the nurses came (and no, not as in a sexual fetish, but an actual nurse who'd quit his job to become a stripper) and he sat down next to Tristans foot.
"What happened?" He asked, staring into my eyes.
"He twisted his foot on stage, wrong landing," I told him. I looked at Tristans foot, which were swollen by now, and blue too. He cried in my arms, as the nurse, Patrick, touched his foot.
"We need to get him to a hospital. Can you bring him?" Patrick asked.
I shook my head, "I've got my show in about 10 minutes... Maybe Daniel can take him?"
"Sure, I'll go find him," Patrick got up and ran off to find Daniel. Tristan kept crying, hugging me tightly, and saying things like 'my career is over' and something in a foreign language. His knuckles were white from holding onto my shirt so tightly, and I had to practically rip his fingers off me. I held his hands and looked into his eyes.
"Tristan, tell me about your day?" I sent him a polite smile.
"I-I went out shopping with-uh-with some of my mates,"
"Uhm, Klaus, Sebastian and Gregory... We went to Subway, and uhm, then around the city for a while and then, uhm, it was time for me to get some more sleep, and then I-I went he-here... Gosh this is all gonna end now, isn't it?" His eyes filled with tears, "This is the end of my career!" And then he started sobbing again.
I hugged him, told him everything was going to be okay, and that it wasn't the end. But we all knew it was. His foot was fractured, and there was no way he was going on stage again, not even after it's healed. Once a fractured foot, always a fractured foot. He'll never dance again. Not this sort of dance.
I gave the crying boy to Daniel when he found us, and they went to the hospital. I wish I could've gone with them, but I had my show the minute they'd left. I had to hurry to the changing rooms and get into my costume. Today was lace-night, and everything I wore was lace. Lace g-string, lace skirt, lace shirt, and yeah I said skirt. We have a night, once a week, where everything's laces and skirts and other girly stuff. That night's tonight.
I got dressed and hurried to the stage in the black pumps my sister had gotten me. Lottie. She was very supportive of me and my job, even though she knew what I did. I was snapped out of my thought, when my song started playing, and my feet pulled the rest of my body on stage. I grabbed the pole, walked around it, shaking my ass a little in the faces of the younger men in the crowd. I slid down the pole, stuck my tongue out and licked it, and that made them throw money at me. Enough to pay my rent, actually.
I teased them a bit, pulled a little bit down in my skirt, and then puleld it up again. I wrapped my leg around the pole and set off from the floor, grabbing the pole with both hands, slid down the pole, my feet on the floor again. I smiled at the men, winked, and swung myself around the pole. I jumped, wrapping my legs around the pole, now hanging upside down. I slid down the pole again, and placed my hands on the floor. They seemed to love that, because the skirt fell down. I was on my feet again and took off the skirt in one swift movement.
After I was done performing, I had a few hours off before my first customer, and I spent them on eating. I need all the energy I can get, so Thomas, the cook, made something for me, with a lot of proteins in, and he also gave me a glass of milk.
"Eat and drink up." He told me, smiled, and returned to his job. Well, it wasn't really his job, he didn't get paid, but he made food for the strippers anyways. I think he's in some sort of relationship with Ian. They tend to look at each other a lot, and Ian looks away from whoever's on stage whenever Thomas looks at him. It's cute, actually.
I ate all of the food on my plate and drank all of the milk in the glass. Thomas refilled my glass and we just talked for a while until he had to meet with Ian. I don't even wanna know what they were """talking""" about.
I went to the changing room, ten minutes before my first customer, and got changed. I took on a shirt and a pair of skinny jeans, and packed my bag. I brushed my teeth and then it was time. I went up the stairs and found the first room, only to find it empty. Okay, a no-show. Some guys decided against coming here, after they've rented me, so point is that I don't get paid for that hour... Which is bad... But my budget is pretty good, so I don't really need the money, but I definetely hope the next one will be here, cause if he's not I'm going to fall asleep...
I returned to the club and looked around. My eyes locked on a man, in a black suit, wearing a flower printet shirt. His shirt was unbuttoned at the top, and he was wearing a black bandana around his neck. Doesn't he wear anything else than black?!
He pointed at me, made a sign for me to come over to him, and I shook my head and did the same sign to him. If he wanted me, he'd come over here himself. And he did. He really did. And I felt nice inside.
"What do you want?" I asked.
"Just to see you." He smiled a cheeky smile down at me, and blushed a little. Sentiment. I smiled back at him and looked around.
"So you decided not to take Jackson in, I assume?" I looked back up at him, locking eyes with him.
"Uhm, yeah, we couldn't really use him, he's not experienced enough inside the field."
"Oh, you see dancing as a field? Like a football field?" I teased him, and he chuckled.
"No, I mean inside the area of dancing." He said. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "You're brilliant."
"What?" I snapped my head towards him.
"You're brilliant. At dancing."
I smiled. "Yeah people usually tells me that, especially after I've had sex with them, or given them a blowjob." At that comment, he blushed tomato red, and it wasn't just a little, it was extreme!
And then he started laughing. I looked up at him, dead serious, and he realised I wasn't joking. He cleared his throat and looked around. "Uhm, so, what happened tonight? With that boy?"
I wasn't sure if he was asking about Tristan, "Blonde hair, cute little bum, big brown eyes?" he nodded, "He fractured his foot."
"Yeah. That's the end of a career, right there.." I said, looking off into the distance again.
"So this is your job?"
"Yeah, and I'm also an escort-boy, if you ever need something nobody else can give you." I winked at him.
"Thanks for the offer, but I've got a boyfriend."
"Oh, well, if you ever need anything, anything at all," I pulled a card out of my jeans, with my number on, and put it in the chest pocket in his suit, "call me." And then Daniel waved me over. "Sorry, mr...-"
"Styles. Harry Styles." He stuck his hand out for me to shake. I shook it, "Louis Tomlinson."
"Nice to meet you." He said, politely.
"Yeah, you too, I need to go." And I was off.
Daniel just wanted to tell me that I had no one who wanted me tonight, so I could take the night off and do something normal for once. Like watch tv and eat gross food, he suggested. I shook my head at him, made a grimace and then it downed on me; it's my first day off, on a week day, for months, and I found it unbelieveable and impossible. Somebody had to be tricking me.
As if reading my mind, Daniel said, "We just think you deserve a day off, and I called all of those men and asked if they could wait until next week. I arranged them for next tuesday night, and now," he grabbed my shoulders and pushed me towards the exit in the back, "I want you to go home, and get some rest."
I turned around and smiled at him. "Thanks, Daniel." I took on my coat. "See you tomorrow, okay?"
As soon as I stepped inside my apartment, I felt relived and calm. I went to the bathroom and switched on the water, and the bathtub quickly filled with hot water, and bubbles from the amazing soap my sister had gotten me for my birthday last year. The smell of bubble gum filled the small bathroom. I got out of my clothes and into the water. I took a deep breath, feeling more relaxed than I've ever felt. I put a towel behind my head, and rested against it. It had been such a long day; Tristan fractured his foot, it's lace day (which makes men uncontrollable), and I felt like I'd worked my butt off for centuries. It's one of these days that I feel completely exhausted. I tried to relax, clear my head, but Tristan and his fractured foot haunted me, and I ended up calling him. He picked up on the second ring.
"Hey Lou." His voice sounded as if he'd been shouting and crying.
"Hi Tristan." I said, "I was just wondering if you're okay..."
Silence. For a long while. And then he started sobbing, "No Louis, I'm not okay, I can't ever dance again! My life is over! I don't have any job, I'll have to move out of my apartment, and everything's such a big mess!"
"Don't you have a bank account with spare money?"
"No, I have this pay-off thing, whenever I gain money, the bank takes them and pays my rent automatically. But I can't gain money anymore, because I can't do anything else than dance, and my life is a fucking mess!" He started crying even more, "Why didn't I just graduate?"
"Shhh, Tristan," it was heartbreaking to hear him cry like that, "Trust me, you can do better things with your life, find something else that interrests you."
"It's not that I'm worried about, I'm worried about where I have to live, and how I'm gonna pay my rent, and even get food, gosh... My mom doesn't even want me anymore.."
"Where are you right now?" I asked him.'
"In my apartment." He replied, "Why?"
"Get a cab, and get over here. To my apartment. Okay?"
"Okay, but Louis why?"
"Because I think you need a friend right now, and I can be it." I said, smiling to myself.
"Okay, uhm, should I bring anything?"
"Yes, popcorn." I said, the word 'popcorn' strangely uncomfortable in my mouth.
"But Louis you have a special diet you need to keep track off!" He protested.
"A little snack won't hurt. Besides I have the night off, and you need cheering up."
"Okay, okay, uhm, well I'll be at yours in twenty, then.."
"Good, bye." And I hung up. I sighed, realising I'd just invited him, and the relaxing night was over.
I got out of the bathtub and wrapped a towel around my body. I went into the bedroom and found a big blue t-shirt, underwear and a pair of grey sweatpants. After getting dressed I cleaned up my livingroom a little, but the doorbell interrupted me. When I opened the door, Tristan stood there, smile on his face, cruches in his hands and a cast on his foot. I smiled sadly at him. He had red puffy eyes and he looked like some lost puppy. I invited him inside and took his bag from the floor. He sat down on the couch and looked around. I brew us a cup of tea, none of us talked. I sat down next to him and switched on the tv. I gave him his cup of tea and he smiled thankfully at me. We just watched tv, his feet in my lap. He sigehd a lot, he looked on the edge of tears, and the next time I looked at him, he was crying. I muted the tv and pulled him into my arms. He held my shirt in a firm grip, crying into my shoulder.
"It's going to be okay, Tristan." I whispered. "It is. It will be."
He pulled a little away and did the completely unexpected. I'd never expected him to actually do it. I was so surprised that I didn't even kiss back, until I relaxed into the kiss, and then suddenly the hotness came washing over me, like a wave over a bay. I didn't feel anything, it was just extremely hot, and I knew by thinking that, that he was going to be hurt, because he actually properly wanted me, feelings and all. But I just couldn't love him. I could make out with him forever, I could do everything to him, like he was some sort of pet, I could use him like my customers uses me. I could use him as a relive from the stressing days. And the weird and mean thing is; I didn't even feel guilty.
I crawled on top of him and deepened the kiss, he grabbed my ass and squeezed it in his hands, he was already hard against me. His hands were all over my body, while my hands searched for one thing, and one thing only; the zipper in his pants. I found it and I almost had it zipped down, when he grabbed my wrists and kept me from doing any more. He stared into my eyes, trying to find the words. You could almost hear his brain working, ticking like a clock. I didn't understand why he didn't want me to undo his pants. I didn't take it as an offence, I took it as he was too weak. Too weak for this job.
"Louis..." He whispered, looking away from me. "It's not that I don't want to, I do, a lot, but I just..."
"Tristan, we can never ever do that.." I felt mean for telling him off... Guilty. I felt guilty for telling him, but I didn't feel guilty for admitting to myself that I could never love him, or anyone.
His eyes filled with tears and he nodded, "Yeah, I understand..." he said, pushing me off him, and sitting up. "You're doing your job... Making sad men happier because they get a bite of you.." He started standing up, finding his phone. "Which is fine, it's how you make money, I understand, I just never..." He stopped midsentence, and I was kind of scared to hear the next few words, "I just never thought you would ever be this cruel." His eyes shone with anger and tears. Lucky enough for me, he grabbed a pillow and threw at the tv, and not a vase from the coffee table. He looked at me again, his fists clenched. "You're a bloody idiot, you've got the worst personality in the world, and you are the cruelest of anyone I've ever met." He had his cruches and bag and he shook his head disappointed at me. He walked, well humped, to the door and exited. I sat there with the silence of my lonely apartment, and tears started streaming down my face. And I had no clue why.
I grabbed my phone and dialed Lottie's number. She picked it up and panted into the phone, god if she was having sex... "Hello," she said.
"Lottie, I... I did something really stupid.." and then I started sobbing, "I don't even know why I'm crying!"
"I'll be over in 2." and she hung up.
I grabbed a pillow and hugged it to my chest, I felt as if I'd been stabbed repeatedly and the feeling of being choked filled my entire body. I coughed and returned to crying, like some big baby. I don't know why I was crying, or why I'd told him, or why I hadn't just played along, I don't know, and I don't like not knowing. What if this was my punishment for telling him, for being who I am, what if god was punishing me, and this was the result of my sins? Not that I actually believe in god. I just felt as if someone, or something, was punishing me, stabbing me, making me choke, but in reality I was the one who did this to myself. And it was pure hell.
The doorbell rang, and I walked over and opened the door, my legs feeling like jelly, and my hands shaking. Lottie pulled me into her varm embrace, and I started crying even more. She'd dropped everything for me, and just showed up in the middle of the night, to take care of a big bladdering baby.
"Louis, what happened?" She asked me, still hugging me.
I sobbed and sniffled, shook my head, "I'm just being an idiot again." I whispered into her scarf.
"I'll stay over tonight and we can talk about it tomorrow, okay?" She asked, pulling away and looking into my eyes. "Don't cry, Lou,"
I nodded, "Yeah, okay..."
"Come on." She pulled me inside and closed the door. She smiled up at me, a sad smile, empathic. "Lets get you to bed," and she pulled me into the bedroom and helped me getting off my sweatpants. I sat down on the bed, and she grabbed the duvets. I lie down in the soft pillows, feeling more exhausted than ever, and she put the duvet over my body. I grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze, "Stay with me..?" to which she nodded, as a reply. She undressed and crawled into bed with me. She held me tightly, and sleep finally took me away.