I took out my hand, ready to shake the hand of the creature in front of me. But just as I wanted to touch it. It dissapered. I shaked my head, and suddenly I could feel warm tears roll down my cheeks.. It’s gone. But I just wanted to touch it.. I never meant something bad. I lot out loud sob, took my hands to my hair and something inside me said pling. Anger started to built inside me. I couldn’t stop it. I looked around and threw what I could on the floor. Soon books, pillows and other things were all over my floor. I fell down on my knees and started to cry again. Then, before I could do anything, a loud scream escaped my mouth. So there I sat, on my floor with broken items all around me, and screamed.
I woke up by a scream and somebody screaming my name. ”LARA! HONEY! OH LORD ARE YOU OKAY?!” my mom screamed while kneeling down so she could hug me. I looked around me and noticed all the broken items. I looked at her confused. ”What happened?” I asked and took a hand through my hair. ”I don’t know.. I just came home and since you didn’t answer when I called.. I got worried and I ran up here.. And saw all this..” she said and looked around in my room. Books, my chair, pillows, pictures, pencils and clothes were all over the floor.. ”I.. I don’t remember what happened.. I only remember.. The.. The bear..” I said while tears started to form in my eyes.. ”Bear? Oh Lara.. Did you even take your medicine?! ” mother said and looked a little mad at me. I just looked down at the ground. My medicine. Pft, she knows I hate those pills.. ”Lara! I’m talking to you! Did you take your pills!?” she yelled at me. I jumped a bit back and looked at her with guilt in my eyes. ”Lara.. Sweetie.. You know you have to take these pills.. schizophrenia
isn’t something to mess with. Its dangerous for you, and all of us..” she said dead serious. ”But mom, I hate those pills. I always did. I just don’t understand why I got this disease, you and dad don’t have it! But I do.. Why aren’t I normal?..” I said and tears, again, rolled down my cheeks. My mom sighned and came over to me, then she gave me a hug and I gladly hugged her back. ”Lara sweetie.. You have taken these pills since you were 2 years.. It’s almost 19 years.. You gotta get used to them someday. And sweetie girl, I know its hard.. And confusing.. But you can do it. Don’t give up now. Never make youself believe you are normal. ’Cause normal is boring sweetie.. You may not realise it.. But you got a gift, a good and bad one.. You have such and imagination, and the fact that you can make it real is amazing.. But also this comes, your panic attacks.. But sweetie.. No matter what, you can do it! I believe in you, your father believes in you. Your siblings believe in you.. Trust me. You can do this one.” she said while stroking my hair. I smiled to her and nodded. I can do this.
”Lara! Dinner is ready!” Kyle, my older brother, screamed. Kyle is a year older than me, so we are best friends. And I know I can always come to him. I laid the last pillow on my bed and looked around. Perfect. I just yea, cleaned up after my little scene earlier. I smile proud and run down the stairs and into the kitchen. ”What is for dinner tonight? I’m starving!” I said while sitting down at the table, my family all gave me a wired look. ”What?” I said and smiled confuesed. ”You are just always hungry. It’s getting funny.” Dave, my younger brother said. Dace is a years younger than me. He is a really sweet and funny guy who always smiles and tells a good joke or two. I smiled at him, and I was about to say something sassy back, but my other little brother interupted me. ”Lara he is right, you know.” Jason said.
Jason is the youngest of us. He is 2 years younger than me. And like Kyle, he is one of the only ones who can calm me when I have panic attacks. I guess it’s because he is used to it, and have tried it so many times. You may think that my whole family should be used to my attacks.. But actually no. I remember a time when Dave almost got scared of me, he didn’t know what to do. He always says he will learn to help me. But ah well, I guess it will come. I mean he is helping when I get crazy. He kinda is that little thing in my head that says ’Please come back to yourself’ mostly because that what he said first time I went crazy and he was there. Again Kyle and Jason are always there, they are like the ’ YOU HEARD HIM COME BACK TO YOURSELF’ voices.. So yeah. I guess.. They are just all getting used to it, everyone, besides me.
”LARA YOU CLEAN THE TABLE!” Kyle, Jason and Dave screamed at the same time and stood up from the table. I sighned and looked at mom and dad with puppy eyes. ”Daddy, I’m so tired.. And If you could just-..” I stopped myself from talking and ran into the bathroom. I opened the toilet and puked in it. More and more came up. I cried while resting my head in my hands. Then I heard my name from somewhere. I looked confused at the toilet and down in it. There was my puke, but not only puke. Blood was there too.. I shaked my head until I saw a face laying there in my puke. I looked shocked at it and screamed. ”NO! I TOOK MY PILLS! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!” I screamed and flushed out the toilet. I ran out from there, still with the taste of puke in my mouth. I ran down the stairs, into the kitchen to see my whole family looking surprised and worried all in one. But I didn’t care. I ran over to my shelf and took my pills down. I looked at them and took 5 pills out from the little bottle they were in. I was about to sink them when my brother, Kyle, came while screaming no. ”LARA! THE HELL, THAT IS TOO MANY!” he screamed and took the bottle with my pills from me. ”Kyle.. Please give them to me! They are still here, I want them to go away! NOW!” I screamed while my voice broke in the middle of the sentence. Kyle threw away my pills and hugged me. I sobbed into his shoulder and out from my eye I could see the rest of my family walking over to us. Before I knew it we all hugged. It was an amazing feeling having them ALL around me. And before I knew it, I drifted to sleep in my family’s arms.
AND WELCOME TO THIS BOOK!
I GOT SO MANY IDEAS FOR THIS ONE! AND I ACTUALLY THINK IT CAN TURN OUT REALLY GOOD. SO YEAH! <3
I HOPE YOU GUYS WILL READ THIS ONE. ALSO DON’T FORGET TO COMMENT, LIKE AND FAV. IT REALLY MEANS LOT TO SEE IF PEOPLE LIKE THIS OR NAH, ALSO I JUST LOVE FEEDBACK. I BELELIVE IT MAKES MY WRITING BETTER <3
Okay, I’ll shut up now <3
Again. WELCOME TO THIS BOOK <3
Lots Of Love.
- Katy <3 Xoxo