Among the Stars

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1. One

Friday 3rd

I’m writing today. It’s nice. The scratch on the paper is comforting. It’s been cold, and wet. Oh so wet! I thought the sky was falling down! It was crashing against the window like a sea full of angry sharks. Mama made cakes and I got to decorate them. Icing got everywhere. Mama said I looked like a snowman. It was a lot of fun.

The moon is out and very large. I can see the lady smiling down, with her white gown. I wonder if she knows Daddy. He’s up there too, Mama says. Up among the stars.

I wish Daddy would come home…

Oh! I can hear sounds. Is it Mama? I should be asleep. I hope she doesn’t come in. Quick! Lights out! Shhh…

 

***

 

Sunday 5th

Mama's asleep. She shouted at me earlier, when I was drawing a picture of Daddy and I. We were in space, and I was a princess. She took the picture away and I heard her crying later. I wonder what I did wrong.

I drew a picture of Mama as an angel. I’ll give it to her when she wakes up.

I hope she wakes up soon. I’m hungry.

 

***

 

Wednesday 8th

Someone came round today, and so I had to play the quiet game. Mama likes the quiet game. I go and hide under the stairs and stay very quiet until Mama comes to find me. It’s not very exciting, and sometimes I get scared.

When I get scared I sing a song in my head.

 

When the moon shines bright and lonesome

On the silent moors

Then my true love comes a visiting

Comes knocking at my door

 

She wears a dress of embers

And begs to let her in

But I know better than that

And tearfully I sing

 

She left me at the alter

She left me alone to dance

She left me living her dreams

She left without a chance

 

When the moon shines bright and lonesome

On the silent moors

Then my true love comes a visiting

Comes knocking at my door

 

I keep the door tight shut

The windows blocked and barred

I will not let that creature in

Though it leaves me scarred.

 

For she did not leave me truly

For her ghost still carries on

On nights when the moon shines brightly

You can hear her plaintive song

 

When the moon shines bright and lonesome

On the silent moors

Then my true love comes a visiting

Comes knocking at my door

 

Daddy used to sing it, before he left. It’s long but I learnt it all. Daddy used to say I was very clever. I liked remembering the songs. Mama doesn’t like them though, she gets angry if she ever hears me sing them, so I make sure she doesn’t hear.

When the person left we got to eat cake. It was pink and yellow in squares with marzipan. I felt ill after it though. Mama said I’d eaten too much, and then she sent me to bed. It’s still light outside, and I can’t sleep yet, but I can hear Mama in the kitchen so I don’t want to get up. She’d be angry.

 

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