Hi loves. Sorry I haven't been uploading lately.. I know I said I would update more often but I just could for a little.. My boyfriend broke up with me, me dealing with depression, I didn't take it very well and I just really wasn't up to do anything at all. Yes I still love him. I just really really miss him. That's all. He made it seem so easy even tho he said it wasn't easy for him to do. But..fuck.. Well just read the chapter because I don't know what more to say. Again I'm so sorry loves. Enjoy this chapter.
"I'm so so sorry. It slipped out and oh my gosh I feel so stupid. I'm so sorry I get if you don't want to go on this da-" before I could finish I felt Ashton throw his hands gently on my face and the next moment was the best, I felt his lips collide with mine. A million sparks when thru me. Was this normal to feel? I felt myself kissing him back putting my hand on top of his arm for comfort. He pulled away and yet again I felt stupid for kissing back. Man.
"Nevaeh, I really really like you and well I..." I looked at him and scared of what he was going to say next he took both my hands in his holding them gently. Say something already. Please.
"Nevaeh... I..umm do you really like me or are you just going in this date with me just because?" He looked like he was frantically searching for an answer that he's been wanting to know for hundreds of years. I thought he was going to burs out into tears any moment.
"Ashton! Why would you even come to think of something like that, of course I like you. I really really like you. Maybe I like you even more then you like me. I don't know if that's possible but it probably is cause I'm telling you exactly how I feel rite now and I really like you like so much and I'm so happy that you asked me to go on a date with you, you have no idea how fast my heart was racing when you asked me to go on a date with you, it's like my whole wor--" before I could finish Ashton grabbed my face in his hands and smashed his lips against mine. I immediately kiss him back gently putting my hand on his arm.
After about 3 minutes of making out he pulled back and smiled at me I felt heat rising up my cheeks.
"Let's start this date, yeah." He smiled at and and I just nodded still blushing. I heard him chuckle he started the car up again and began to drive.
I was looking out the window. I snapped my head to look down at my hand as I felt another snake into mine. I immediately blushed and smiled at Ashton he glanced over at me and smiled like the cute idiot he is. Gosh he's so damn cute. I still feel really stupid for calling him babe. What the fuck was I thinking. I hope he didn't think different of me now that I called him that.
I'm planning on telling him later on tonight I just hope he doesn't think any different of me or he doesn't talk to me again or.. What if he turns his back on me and tells everyone and makes fun of me..? So many what ifs ran try my mind. But my mind is made up. I'm telling him.
Fuck. Oh man. She called me.. Babe. I mean don't get me wrong I felt a rush run thru me when she said that my heart skipped a beat. She called me babe and now I'm even more nervous of asking her. What if she thinks I'm forcing her, fuck. Why does she have to be so damn beautiful.
Before I knew it we where holding hands and parking in front of the restaurant. I have something special planned for later. I just hope she doesn't run off and never talks to me again because of it.
I remember when I told my ex-girlfriend and she ran off. A few days later she told everyone and they started making fun of me.
It got worse. I didn't think it'd get better.
Up until I met my best friend. Luke. He's always been there for me. He never judged me. He would never make fun of me. He wouldn't hold it against me either.
But when I told him he cried because he thought he was all alone in a world so judgmental and non acceptable of "people like us." We eventually became the "assholes" around school. In a sense it helped but in another it wouldn't because both Luke and I would feel 10x worse after doing something to someone.
Now I just hope Nevaeh accepts me and likes me for who I am. I don't want her thinking any different of me.
This just can't be happening. The girl I've been in love with for the past 6 months is going on a date with my best friend. The love of my life is with someone else.
I didn't dare think of what they were doing at this moment. I didn't want to picture it. But me being the dumb ass I am. I thought of the worst things possible. What if they kisses. What if they held hands. What if he asked her to be his girlfriend. What if she said yes.
She can't say yes. She just can't. And if he does then there won't be an us between her and I. And that can't happen.
I just want to be able to hold her at night when she's sleeping, kiss her, hold her hand, but her gifts, take her out to look up at the stars. Anything she would want to do id do it with her.
I stopped thinking about it all and laid in my bed placing my arm over my stomach and the other behind my head.
I wonder what she thinks of me. What do you think of me princess? I wish I knew what my princess thought about me. I closed my eyes thinking about how it would be when me and my princess would finally be together.
I felt my eyes get heavier. Before I knew it I let sleep take over my body and let dreams wipe over my mind.
We had finally reached the restaurant. Ashton got out of the car and ran over to my side. Before he could reach my door I got out of the car and smirked at him.
"Beat you to it."
He chucked and wrapped his arms around my waist pulling me closer to his body. His eyes traveled over to my face and then at my lips.
"You're gorgeous. Did you know that?"
I let those two words slip out of my mouth and looked down hiding my face in Ashton's chest. He wasn't much taller then me about 4 inches taller but I still hid my face. I felt to hands push me away and slip their fingers under my chin and made my head look up at them.
Was all I got before I felt a pair of lips against mine. I felt my lips kissing back. My arms snaked their way over to his neck, and his down back to my waist. He pulled back. He looked at me and smiled then looked down taking my hands and looking back at me.
"You're so fucking beautiful. You're gorgeous. You're amazing. Nevaeh you're perfect. The minute I saw you at school I was blown away. I thought I would die if I didn't get to talk to you. I had to find a way to talk to you. I was to scared to talk to you in person so I texted you. I would of called but.. I don't have the guts and well.. Now I'm just rambling and I don't even know but I mean everyone does rite and well.. I really really really like you, like a lot.. So Nevaeh will you be my girlfriend?"
D-d-did he just ask what I think he just said. I looked at him not knowing what to say.