It was another hot, summer day.
"Whew!" said Dad. "This is scorching work!"
"Want me to spray you with the hose, Dad?" Pumpkin offered.
"Why, sure! Thank you, Pumpkin! Sounds like it would be very--"
"--PAINFUL, BECAUSE YOU LEFT THE HOSE LYING IN THE HOT SUN ALL DAY!!!" Dad screamed.
Then in came Ellen. "Ugh! What a miserably hot day!" she said, rubbing her sweaty forehead.
"Hey, Ellen!" said Pumpkin. "For a dollar, I'll cool you off with the hose!"
"A dollar? Forget it!"
"It's called paying for a service. But I'll give you a discount. I'll do it for fifty cents instead."
Ellen trembled with rage. Pumpkin could read her contorted expression. "How about a quarter?"
Ellen fell down from the spray.
"Now I've done it for free!" said Pumpkin. "How about I pay you to make it up?"
Ellen's lip curled. "Oh, you're going to pay, all right."
Pumpkin flounced off, holding a football. Suddenly, he noticed Soccer Girl reading in a camping chair.
"Soccer Girl, m'lady!" said Pumpkin, holding a football on his finger. "Want to throw around the ol' pigskin?"
Soccer Girl looked up. "With you? I'd rather stick a fork in my eye."
"How 'bout tossing a baseball?"
"With you? I think not."
"Wanna shoot hoops?"
"With you? No."
"Kick a soccer ball?"
"Not with you."
Pumpkin walked away, but not for long.
"You know, Soccer Girl, it wouldn't kill you to be nice to me every once in a while!" he said when he came back. "Why can't you give me the 'time of day?'"
"It's 1:30. Time for you to get out of my face."
"Are you sure you don't even want to play tennis?"
"Shut up, Pumpkin," Soccer Girl snarled. "I wouldn't play with you if there were a mass wipeout and we were the only two people left on Earth."
"Well, if we were the last two people on Earth, we'd be doing other things, if you know what I mean! We'll actually have to live together, and then you'd give me a chance to--"
Ten seconds later, Pumpkin staggered away from Soccer Girl with a black eye, a crack in his shell, and one of the tennis rackets forced over his head. Soccer Girl had lost it completely. Plus, we'd only have one good racket...