"Tony, don't put Loki in the fridge!"
"But he's a frost giant he needs-"
"I said no!"
Tony sighs and lets go of Loki, the god stumbling out of his grasp. Loki storms out of the apartment, grumbling to himself.
"I told you not to put him in the fridge," Bruce says, barely looking up from his books.
"Told you not to put him in the fridge," Tony imitates his friend and gulps down his espresso. The scientist looks over, raising his eyebrows over his glasses.
"What's with the teacher look, Green Giant?"
"I'm not giving you my teacher look."
"Ho no, Green Giant," Tony sings, doing his best Hulk impression. Bruce just sighs and goes back to his books. His friend sits next to him on the couch with his coffee. Looking over at the mans work, it's Tony who raises his eyebrows this time.
"Why are you marking school books?"
"I'm a teacher, Tony, what else would I be doing?"
"A- Since when are you a teacher and B- Why aren't you doing your work at work?"
"Answer to A- I've been a teacher for months and answer to B- If I was then Loki would be a Asgardian Popsicle by now."
Tony turns to face his friend, crossing his legs on the sofa like a child.
"You've been a teacher for months and you didn't think to tell your best friend?"
"I did tell you, Tony. I told millions of time."
Clint's voice rings through the apartment. He stands at the door, sweating beading on his forehead.
"Hey, Bird Butt. What's going on in the nest?" Tony turns his back to Bruce and leans against him, sipping his coffee. An arrow flies over his head, despite no one even seeing Clint move. The billionaire flinches voilent, choosing some very choice words to throw at the archer.
"Very funny, Stark. Banner, how do you keep the Other Guy under control?"
"Oh my God, what did you do?!" Both Tony and Bruce say at the same time.
"Nothing! I think..."
"You think?!" Both men are now off the sofa and are at the door.
"Natasha's acting really pissy and I don't know what to do!"
"Why the hell are you asking us?"
A confused look passes over his face.
"Umm... I don't actually know."
On that note, Clint disappears out of the door, leaving Tony and Bruce alone.
"Well, it's been fun, Tony, but I have work to do," Bruce says, picking up his stuff and disappearing to his room. The engineer glances around at his now empty apartment. Hm.
"So it's very simple. Just do exactly what Mr Willman tells you to do, don't set anything on fire and don't poison the judges." The assistant tells Steve, Thor and Loki as he attaches their microphones. He then sends them a small smile and speed walks out of the green room.
"How did we get dragged into this?" Steve asks, looking over at the other two. They just shrug. The solider looks around the room before seeing a poster sat on a glass table. Grabbing it, he reads it out loud to Loki and Thor.
"'Congratulations, bakers! You have gained a place in the worlds only cupcake competition! All you have to do is bake several types of cupcakes and, if yours are the best, win one thousand dollars!'" He throws the poster down on the table, "We're on Cupcake Wars."
The other two groan. Tony has made them watch several cooking shows and let's just say they completely hate them.
"Is it too late to pull out?" Loki asks. Right at that moment, a group of assistants push the three men onto the shows set, attacking them with makeup brushes.
Bright lights stream into the mens eyes. Cameras are pointed at them. Pink aprons are stuck on them.
"And.... action!" A voice shouts.
"Hello, and welcome to the celebrity episode of Cupcake Wars! Today we have two superheroes and one supervillian here to bake their way to the top! So, lets meet our bakers! First, we have the one and only Captain America, who defeats evil everyday and looks good doing it! He's still single ladies," the presenter winks at the camera," Next up, we have Thor, the Asgardian hunk who is heir to basically the whole universe and has been voted 9th sexiest man in America! Finally, we have Loki, the sterotypical Tumblr bad boy with whole worlds at his feet!"
The three men wave timidly at the camera, Loki offering them his signature smirk. Every woman behind the cameras practically swoon. All except one. The gods eyes focus on this woman, completely blanking the presenter. Headphones domainte most of her head, wired up to the monitor she's watching intently. Pink hair flows from her messy ponytail, green eyes set off by winged eyeliner. A black leather jacket hugs her body.
"Hey, brother," Thor mutters to the god, his mouth barely moving.
"I bet you 5 gold coins that you can not persuade the pink hair lady to go out with you."
By the time the three men have completed the show, all of them are looking a little worse for wear. Batter is stuck in Thors hair. The smell of burning is distinct in the air around Loki (he'd been too busy trying to get the pink haired girl to notice him). Steve has burns going up his arms and God knows what down the front of his apron. The judges have tried to be nice about their cakes, but you can tell the cakes are disgusting. Just one look at Thors cupcakes makes you want to hurl. The kitchens are another story completely. You can barely see them from under the piles of dirty dishes and cakes that looked like they've been hit by a bomb. Once the cameras have wrapped and the fire alarms turned off, Loki sauntered over to the pink haired girl. Peering over at her clipboard, he can see a detailed sketch of a blue eye.
"Nice drawing," he says. The girl jumps in her strappy skyscraper heels, turning to look at the god.
"Thanks," she replies, looking Loki up and down.
"What's your name?"
"You're named after a cheese?" Loki scoffs.
"Got a problem with that, Lady Loki?" Bree smirks at him.
"At least I know how to make myself look presentable." Loki can't stop the anger coming out in his voice.
"If I didn't look presentable, then would a certain someone have burnt his cakes trying to get me to look at him?"
"So it worked," Loki smiles triumphantly. Bree mentally slaps herself.
"If your aim was for me to notice you being a womanizing prick, then yes, it worked, darling."
"It still worked, 'darling'."
"Doesn't mean I'm willing to go along with the bet between you and Thor. I have a thing called standards. Have you heard of them?"
"Silly woman, thinking you're so special. You're a simple Midgardian woman, I could handle you in my sleep."
"Oh, darling, you couldn't handle me even if I came with instructions." Bree blows a sarcastic kiss at the god and strides away.
Tony is laying on the floor of his apartment. A cat scrambles in-front of him, chasing a small mechinal mouse.
"Kill it! Kill the mouse, Seregant!"
The door creaks open.
"Tony, what are you doing?" Bruces voice cuts through the weridness of what he can see.
"Training the cat to kill."
"I know, but what are you doing with a cat?"
"It was lonely around here," the billionaire picks up the brown cat, cuddling him close to his chest. The doctor raises his eyebrows.
"So you got a cat?"
"Yes, yes I did."
The cat jumps from Tonys arms, sauntering over to Bruce. With one swift leap, he lands on the doctors shoulders and climbs onto his head.
"What is up with this cat?"
Tony gasps dramatically and grabs the cat from Bruce, cradling him to his chest.
"Don't be mean to Seregant Fuzzyboots!"
"What the fuck is Stark doing with a cat?"
Clint stands at the door, panting heavily. Several scratches cover his face.
"What happened to you?" The doctor asks.
"It's a rough month when your best friends, who happens to be an assassian, PMS and Halloween hits at the same time," the archer pulls what looks to be a piece of Halloween candy from his hair. Tony tosses him a candy bar in green wrapping without letting go of his cat.
"Stark Industries Candy Bar in Mint Chocolate Chip," Clint reads from the packet, "What is this shit?"
"We use to it calm down the Big Guy."
"He likes Mint Choco Chip?"
"He prefers Double Chocolate Brownie."
"Hm." The archer looks down at the package again.
"Can we please get off what food the Other Guy likes to eat?" Bruce sighs, flopping down on the sofa. Tony tosses him a candy bar. The doctor raises his eyebrows at his friend
"Really, Strawberry Danish?"