When there are so many others...

"You don't know what it's like." I said while tears started to make there way to me eyes.
"What?" He asked a bit annoyed and frustrated.
"You don't understand!" I announced raising my voice a bit.
"Well then would you like to explain it to me?" He said calming his voice.
"When you have all these thoughts it's like... you can't just...." I stood there thinking of how i wanted to say this. He walked right in front of me and held my hand.
"What is it that I don't understand?"
"The only way I can think of putting it is like... it's like your hanging off of a skyscraper....."


3. When?

Jordan's POV

I woke up the next morning almost falling off the couch. The t.v. was still on and Niall was snoring on the other side of the couch. I got up to go make breakfast for myself, so I walked into the kitchen and got out some cereal. I got out a bowl and poured my cereal in it.

As I went to get the milk I saw a interesting paper sitting on the counter. I picked it up and started to read it. It said a bunch of boring stuff in the first paragraph, but as I read on I found out it was a letter for Niall about The X Factor. My eyes grew wide and my mouth dropped. I set the paper down and ran back into the living room. I almost fell on Niall when I got to him. I started to shake him to try and wake him up. He finally woke up and screamed.

"What the hell was that for Jordan?" He yelled in his groggy morning voice.

"When the hell were you going to tell me that you were going to be on The X Factor?" I yelled at him. He smiled and sat up on the couch.

"So you saw my letter, did you?" He said as he smirked and rubbed his eyes.

"Yes I saw your letter! When did you even audition?"

"Do you remember a week or so ago when I left to go meet up with some old friends?"

"You went to audition instead? Niall, you could have just told me you were auditioning."
"Well, I didn't want to get your hopes up. It's not like I've gottin that far into the competition, I haven't even made it to the judges houses yet."

"You still made it on. I'm so proud of you!" I wrapped my arms around him and he did the same to me. "So when exactly are you leaving?'' I asked him. He didn't answer me, he just kept his arms around me. "Niall, when are you leaving." He still didn't answer me or unwrap his arms. I finally broke away from the hug and looked him in the eyes. "When?"

"Tomorrow morning." He whispered.

"W-what? Tomorrow morning. You were planning to leaving tomorrow morning, and you hadn't even told me yet?"
"Well I was going to get around to it today, but you seemed to beat me to it.'' He explained. I sighed and sat down on the couch. "You'll be alright with out me, you know." Niall said to try and reassure me. 'I honestly wont.' I though to myself.

Of course, Niall doesn't know I get bullied at school. I never told him, I'm enough work for Niall as it is. I don't need him to worry about me when I go to school as well. Yes, every now and then he'll see the marks that Bella leaves, but I just tell him I got hurt in P.E. or something. He also doesn't know that Justin pretty much harasses me, and is constantly trying to get me to sleep with him. I don't need him to worry about that either, so I'm really the only one that knows. Seeing as I have no friends, I have no one to run off and tell my secrets to. So it just stays inside me, until one day when I break. I've had a feeling lately that the breaking point is probably getting close, and now that Niall's leaving, it will probably be sooner than I thought. Niall being the thing that holds me together most of the time,I don't know how well I can hold it together when he leaves.

"Jordan, hello, were you listening?" I looked up at Niall as he looked back at me with a smile on his face.

"Sorry, I was lost in thought. Um... what were you saying?" I asked him, he just rolled his eyes and slightly laughed.

"I was saying that you'll be fine with out me, considering that most of the time your the one who takes care of me. Even though it should be the other way around. You are so strong, and you mean the world to me and it's not like I'm going to be gone that long. I mean what are the chances of me actually winning?" He asked, then knelt down beside me and holding my hands. "Your my beautiful baby sister and I love you to death. If anything happens when I'm gone, just call me and I'll come right home. You are my world, don't you ever forget that." I had tears in my eyes but I tried to blink them back until I saw a tear roll down Niall's cheek. I then hugged him and let my tears fall.

"I'm going to miss you some much Niall." He hugged my tighter and said "Me too." We just at there for awhile, and held onto each other. I guess it was in that moment we really realized that things were going to change. Possibly for the better. I mean, Niall had an incredible singing voice, so he had a pretty good chance of winning. I hugged him tighter at the thought of him winning. It's not that I didn't want him to win, because i did. I just knew if he won, he would go on tours and to concerts and interviews. Our lives would definitely change. More tears slipped out of my eyes when I thought about him leaving me. Sure, he would probably come around for the holidays, but other than that he would be busy with all the important things that come along with being famous.

We finally unwrapped each other form the hung and wiped our tears away. We each sniffled a bit here and there and stayed silent for a minute so we could collect ourselves. Niall broke the silence after awhile and sat down next to me on the couch.

"Well, if I'm leaving tomorrow, then why don't we spend all day together?" He asked me while rubbing my back.

"I think that's a great idea, so what do you want to do?"

"I think we should stay here, I don't think I have the energy to got out anywhere." I nodded my head to show I agreed.

"We could have a movie marathon?" I suggested.

"I like that idea, I'll go pop some popcorn while you go pick out some movies." He said.

"Niall, I'm pretty sure you already know what movies I want to watch." I looked at him as he looked back with a smirk on his face. "Harry Potter!" We both said at the same time.

I ran up to my room and pulled out all the Harry Potter movies. I put the first one in and paused it so Niall and I could watch it together. A few minutes later, Niall walked in with two big bowls of popcorn. He handed one to me and took a seat on my be next to me. I pressed play on the remote and the movie started.


"No, why Cedric?!" I cried. We were in the fourth movie and it had just ended. Niall and I were both crying and the credits continues to appear on the screen. We wiped our tears for the second time today as Niall stood up to put on The Order of the Phoenix.

"Finally, we get to watch my favorite one." He said as he put it in.

"I don't understand how people can just choose favorites, they are all absolutely brilliant." I said trying to sound like Hermione.

"Your Hermione impression really is awful." Niall said trying for himself.

"Then how did you know that's who i was trying to be?" I asked. He just ended up throwing popcorn at me. I gasped and put my had over my heart. "How dare you, throwing things at your baby sister the day before you leave." I said as I thew popcorn at him. He then imitated me by putting his had over his heart and gasping.

"How dare you, throwing things at your-" I cut him off by smacking him with a pillow. "Fine then if that's how you wanna play it, then let the games be-'' I cut him off again by hitting him with the pillow. He then picked up a pillow and smacked me with it. We went back and forth, hitting each other until Niall knocked my pillow out of my hands.

"Now your in for it." He said as I ran out of my room. He ran after me, chasing me with a pillow. I ran down the stairs, in the kitchen and behind the counter. Niall had slowly walked into the kitchen looking for me once his back was facing me, I jumped on him and grabbed his pillow. Once the pillow was in my possession, I ran as fast as I could out of the kitchen and into the basement. Niall quickly followed, and as I was about to run out the basement door, he grabbed me.

"No, Niall, please let me go!" I said as I tried to get away. But it was no use, his grip around me was to tight.

"Why would I ever let you go?" He asked as he carried my up stairs. He then set me on the couch and started to tickle me.

"N-Niall, please, p-p-please, stop." I pleaded.

"Never!" he yelled.

"I-I'll do w-what ever y-y-you want me to d-do!" said trying to control my voice with no success.

"Fine, go make me more popcorn, since you threw the rest of mine all over your room." He said as he stopped tickling me. I quickly got up and went to the kitchen to make him more popcorn. Once I finished I went back up to my room to find Niall sitting on my bed with the movie paused. He patted the spot next to him as I walked over to the bed and took a seat.


I woke up the next morning finding Niall sleeping beside me and popcorn in my hair. I walked into my bathroom and looked in the mirror. I was a mess, so I quickly got in the shower to clean myself up. I soon got out and walked back into my bedroom to find that Niall was no longer there. He then appeared behind me pulling me into a hug.

"Today's the day." He said.

"Yep." I replied. He turned me around and looked me in the eyes.

"Hey, It's going to be ok." He said. I slightly smiled and looked back at him.

"I know." I said. We walked down stairs and out the front door and loaded his bags in the car. We drove to the airport and waited for Niall's flight to be called. We sat there in silence, not really sure what to say. I was in deep thought anyway, thinking about what it was going to be like without Niall around. I didn't like the idea at all, and I really didn't want him to leave, but I needed to be a supportive sister. I needed to let him chase his dreams, I needed to be happy for him. My thoughts were interrupted when the announcer came on and said Niall's flight was boarding. We stood up and hugged each other as tight as we could and started crying.

"I'm going to miss you so much." I said.

"I'm gonna miss you to, but just remember I love you so much." We let go and he started walking toward his plane. "Oh, and don't forget, if you need anything, I'll come right home." He said. I watched him walk to ward the plane and hand his ticket to the woman taking to tickets. He turned around to face me and mouthed 'I love you.' and walked into the doorway of the plane.

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