A locked Kingdom

A locked kingdom that only the brave dare enter. To unlock and piece together what has been broken.


1. Keys

There's a place which I've created inside my mind that I go to when things get tough. It's like my own personal kingdom. However, it's currently locked and guarded by depression, anxiety and jealousy.

Taking a little pill could make depression leave, thus making it somewhat easier to access my safe haven, but jealousy and anxiety still guard the gates. I could ignore jealousy for a couple of moments, even days at a time but somehow he always returns bringing depression along with him. As for anxiety, she is the hardest to get rid of. I can throw on a mask of calm, happiness, and no worry but underneath the mask, I am slowly deteriorating. Anxiety and depression are great friends and so are depression and jealousy. And sometimes jealousy and anxiety cross paths and smile at each other every now and then.

But, even after ridding my haven of these three guards, I'd still need a key to get in. I call this key my hero or savior. The key that was the only one there when I needed it to be. This key actually goes by many names and there's many forms of this key but they all open the same gate. This key can be easily found but sometimes it doesn't even work because a key that's sat in the rain for so long starts to rust and decay, causing it to not fit in the keyhole anymore or causing the pins to line up unevenly.

It's not that my heroes have sat in the rain, it's me who's sat in the rain. No, not rain from a thunderstorm it's the rain of the feelings that depression, anxiety and jealousy have thrown over me. It's like a coat. A strangling, fleece covered coat and no matter how hot it gets in that coat, I can't take it off because of how the three have made me feel. Jealousy causing me to feel worthless, anxiety causing me to feel self-conscious and depression causing me to feel empty inside. 

I could cover this coat with a coat of fake happiness and a plastered on smile, but eventually, it'd get way too hot and I'd have to take that coat off, leaving me with all the bad to carry on my shoulders. The bad that'll weigh me down, make my shoulders sag and drown me in a never ended wrap of horrible feelings. 

Until a hero can pull me out again.

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