This time i was ready to run. Run away from it all. I still don't understand why he doesn't want to be with me. I mean i get the fact that i'm not the prettiest girl out here but i do have a better personality than most of the people here. Everyone is so fake and they only care about what's on the outside. It's like everyone has become sort of self obsessed and they could care less about me being me , i'll always be the "normal" girl for as long as i look like now.
I knew that i had to call someone. Someone who i felt like i haven't had time to be with these couple of weeks. Or more like she hasn't been able to be with me since she got herself a boyfriend. It's kind of sad how she doesn't hang out with me and the other girls that much but i do understand the fact that she really likes her boyfriend and i guess we'll just have to respect them.
I searched for her name in the contact list and i found it. Mackenzie..
i called and the phone ringed for a few seconds before she picked it up. " Hey " she seemed tired. " Hey, did i wake you up? " i asked her. " No , i'm just tired. What's up babe? " she said and it reminded me of when she would always call me and the other girls babe for no reason. " I just need somebody to talk to i guess" i said and she took a deep breath. " Shoot " she said. I told her everything about Niall and i could feel the tears building up in my eyes. " I-I'm so sorry Ava , i don't know what to say" she said. " Oh no it doesn't matter kenzie, i just needed someone to talk to" i said. " Oh i understand, but what does it feel like?" she asked me.
It was so hard. How could such a simple question be so hard to answer? I do know how it feels but i can't exactly put it into words. I sighed. " Well, I guess it's like the more you love someone , the more they can hurt you" i said and she agreed. This time i coulnd't keep my tears in. I let them run down my probably pale cheeks and she was just hanging on the other line waiting for me to calm down and occasionaly telling me to breath.
" I-I think i have to go now, sorry for bothering you. Love you Kenzie. i know that i can always count on you" i told her . " You didn't bother me at all, sometimes it's nice to talk and i know that you always make sure to listen to us so i think it's our turn to help you. I love you Babe bye" she said and i smiled, for the first time in a long time i smiled a genuine smile.
After a few hours of just feeling sorry for myself while sitting on the couch and eating ice cream while watching the notebook someone tapped me on my back and i jumped from my seat. I looked behind me and i got mad. Ofcourse He is here. " What do you want? " i asked him sounding a bit ruder than intended. " Look i just came here to say sorry" he told me. " Well sorry isn't enough this time" i told him and i crossed my arms. " But you always forgive me Ava , come on! " he said sounding a bit frustrated. " Exactly, and i am not going to give in this time, i'm done" i told him and his whole face dropped. " B-But why can't you forgive me? please Ava , please! " he begged me but i was going to be strong this time,
" You actually made me wonder how many times we forgive just because we don't want to lose someone, even if they don't deserve our forgiveness" i told him. " You don't have to lose me Ava , can't you see that i love you?" He said. " No you don't and that's the thing. You would of been proud about being with me not ashamed." i said and that's what he was right now, ashamed. Ashamed because he couldn't keep the girl that he loves the most.
He walked up to me and kissed me and i kissed back, Oh there goes my dignity. I couldn't help but kiss him back. It was to good to say no to. " Forgive me now? " he said. I was a bit unsure because what if he does this to all the girls? Because i know that i'm probably not the only one in this dangerous game. " I'll have to think about it " i said since i didn't want to seem easy and say yes straight away, maybe in a few days. " Please , i love you and i want to show you off to the world. I'll be your Boyfriend, anything you want me to." He said and i was chocked.
" Okay but you'll have to show me that you care Because i am tired of guessing if you do or not and i'm not playng games with me. I'm all or nothing" i said and he nodded and kissed my hand. " I 'll do anything for you and by the way i will always care about you together or not, but i can now see that i was so wrong because i am selfiesh i mean i never ask what you want, so Ava what do you Really want?
" Honestly i just want one day with you, 24 Hours, 1440 Minutes. 86.400 seconds. It'll be just you and me. We get to do whatever we want. No interference or anyone else. That's all i want right now"