I looked up at the white hotel ceiling.
The sun was streaming in from the white curtains hanging in front of the windows.
Helen was laying on top of me.
"I'm gonna miss this," I said.
"Miss what?" She asked and turned on her back.
"You, your cuddles, your kisses, hugs, laugh, smile, personality, and even your body," I said and traced my fingers down her chest.
"I'm gonna miss you too, Cal," She said.
I kissed her again.
"C'mon Cal, we gotta get up. We drive back home today," She said and pushed herself off my chest.
"I know, darling," I said. "Did you have fun yesterday?"
"Yea! The performance was great! I love your singing voice and the songs were amazing!" She exclaimed.
"That's not what I meant but thank you for that," I said.
"You know what I've always wanted to try?" I asked.
"Please don't tell me it's another reenactment from 50 Shades," She said.
"Nah," I replied.
"Ok, what is it?"
I went into the bathroom and turned on the shower head.
I poked my head back in the room.
"How about a shower, darling?" I pointed to her, "You and me."
A smiled spread across her lips.
After our bath, Helen and I went back to our room and got dressed.
I heard a knock on the door.
I got up and went towards the door. I looked through the small hole and no one was there.
"Who is it, Cal?" Helen asked.
"No one's there," I replied.
"Maybe it's some kid that got dared to knock on the door," She said.
"Let me guess, you did that once" I said.
"Yea, Adin and I were in a hotel in San Diego and he told me to knock on a door and he'd give he ten dollars," She explained.
"And you did it?" I asked.
"Hey, I was 13 years old! We craved adventure, but then again we still do," She said.
The doorbell rang again, I rushed to the door and opened it.
I saw a streak of red hair. I looked around the corner and I saw Luke and Michael running down the hallway.
"Who is it?" Helen asked again.
"It's just Luke and Michael," I replied.
I felt her come up next to me.
She scoffed, "Really Luke?"
The blonde haired boy turned around and burst out laughing.
"Did we interrupt something?" Michael asked and giggled.
"No, nothing at all," I replied.
"Mmhmm," Luke said.
"What do you want Luke?" Helen asked annoyed.
"We're gonna go get breakfast downstairs before they take the food away," Michael replied.
"Coming or not?" Luke asked.
"Yea, we're going," Helen replied.
She went back inside to grab her key and phone.
"Oh, can you get my phone too, babe?" I asked and pointed to my phone on the bed.
She grabbed it and handed it to me.
I thanked her and took her hand before pulling her outside and closing the door behind me.
We followed Luke and Michael to the elevator.
It was a short trip to the lobby. Once we reached the bottom we hurried to get food.
Fortunately we made it in time.
We sat in a table, but we weren't alone. My parents and the guys' families were here too. Enjoying a nice breakfast.
"Okay, David and I will go with Liz," Mum said as we decided in what cars we'll go.
Turns out my parents carpooled with Michael's parents.
Helen was going to ride with us in the van that brought us to Melbourne.
"Helen are you sure you want to go with them?" Liz asked.
"Yea, Mom. Positive," She replied.
"Okay, I'll see you two back home," Liz said and hugged Luke and Helen.
"Bye Mom," Luke and Helen said in unison.
I opened the door to the van and I got in the back. Helen sat next to me.
Luke, Ashton, and Michael sat in the seats in front of us.
"Home," I said.
Helen looked at me and smiled, "Home."
One hour in the car and I was already bored.
We had nothing to talk about. Helen and I only made small talk. It seemed like something was bothering her. But before I could acknowledge it she spoke up.
"How was your first shows of the tour?" I asked.
"It was awesome! I feel like we sucked and we were too stiff," Michael said.
"Yea, we didn't move around like most performers do," I said.
"Like Billie Joe Armstrong! He has a way of controlling the crowd and it's cool," Ashton explained.
"You'll get better," Helen said.
"You're right, we can't be instant amazing performers. Takes practice right?" Luke asked.
"Right," Helen replied.
The car ride was slow. Helen slept for a quarter of the ride.
We arrived at Helen and Luke's house first.
My parents were already there.
"See you all tomorrow," Helen said and got out of the van, she slung her small bag over her shoulder.
"Bye lads," Luke mumbled.
Michael and Ashton said their good byes and I got down with the twins.
I stretched my legs quickly and went to my parents.
I helped them put their things in the van and I turned around.
"Helen," I called.
She turned and looked up at me.
I pulled her in a hug and she wrapped her arms around me.
"I love you," She whispered into my chest.
"I love you too, darling," I said and rubbed her back.
"I'll see you at the airport tomorrow," She said.
I nodded and pulled away.
Her blue eyes were unnaturally blue. Just like Luke's.
"See you then," I replied.
I kissed her before turning and going back to the van.
Tomorrow I will say good bye to her at the airport for the last time before going on a tour for six months.
I remember tossing and turning in my bed before falling asleep.
It was a restless night.
I only got about 4 hours of sleep, but my body and my mind wasn't tired at all.
Today Calum, Luke, Ashton, and Michael will officially leave for their tour.
I felt the tears rising up but I held them down.
After brushing my teeth and combing my hair, I pulled on a Coldplay shirt, red flanned, black jeans, and my black Converse.
I went downstairs and Luke's travel bag was on the couch.
I walked into the kitchen and grabbed an apple.
Luke was eating breakfast.
"Good morning," He said.
"Hey," I replied quietly.
"Not gonna eat?" He asked.
I shook my head, "I'm not that hungry right now. I'm sticking with fruit."
I took a bite from my Granny Smith apple and chewed.
"You look tired, sleep alright?" He asked.
"Just couldn't sleep," I replied.
Mom came downstairs and she ate breakfast.
After about an hour of sitting, it was finally time to go to the airport.
My heart started racing as Luke grabbed his bags and we went to Mom's car.
When we arrived at the airport, my heart sank.
We met the others inside.
Ashton was hugging his siblings and knelt in front of Harry, he spoke to him quietly.
I realized that Ashton was a father figure to that boy. He was a role model to Harry and his sister Lauren.
Michael being an only child, only had to say good bye to his parents. So did Calum, although he wasn't the only child.
Luke hugged my Mom first.
Michael came over me.
"Gonna miss me?" He asked.
I laughed, "Yes Mikey, I will. Especially your hair," I stood on my toes and ruffled his red hair.
He pulled me in his arms and I hugged him.
Michael is like a bear. He always squeezed tightly when he hugs.
When we broke away I hugged Ashton.
"Don't let Calum do stupid shit," I said. "Please."
"Don't worry Helen. I'll make sure he closes his eyes if we ever go to a strip club," He said.
My eyes widened at him.
"I'm kidding!" He quickly added.
I glared at him, "That's not funny."
I heard someone clear their throat and I turned around.
"Can I get a hug now?" Luke asked and extended his arms.
I smiled and wrapped my arms around him.
"I'm gonna miss you," I said.
"I know. I will too Helen. I'll make you proud."
"You already have."
"I won't forget to talk to you okay? I'll keep you updated on everything we do," Luke said.
"No need. Just text me when you can."
He kissed my forehead.
"Love ya Helen."
"Love you too Hemmo."
We smiled at each other.
"Keep that hair quiffed," I finally said.
Luke ran his fingers through his quiff and laughed.
"Will do. I'm going over here."
He went with Ashton and I felt arms around my waist.
I turned and Calum lifted me off the ground.
I hugged him tightly and didn't want to let go.
I want to hold him forever.
Just keep him here.
"Promise me, you will never forget about me," Calum said. "Don't let the fire burning in your heart fade."
"I won't Calum. I promise."
He put me on the ground and put something in my hand before closing my fingers around it.
"What is it?" I asked.
"It's guitar pick. I got it specially made for you," He cupped my cheeks. "As long as you have that pick, I'm with you, in your heart. Remember that."
I nodded and held back my tears.
My tears were being held back by a dam and soon that dam will break.
"I love you so much Helen. Do not forget that. I'll be back soon, don't worry."
"I love you too Calum," I whispered.
"Now boarding flight to the United Kingdom," The lady on the overcome said.
I closed my eyes and my heart crawled in my throat.
It's time to say good bye.
"Time to go Calum," Ashton said.
"I know," Calum replied. "Don't give up on us Helen, I'm begging you not to give up. No matter what happens."
"I won't Calum. For you, I'll never give up."
He smiled and crushed his lips against mine for the last time.
The kiss lingered put we knew we had to pull away.
"I love you darling," Calum whispered once more.
"Love you too Cal-Pal."
He smiled at me and picked his bag off the floor.
"Good bye beautiful. Stay strong."
"Bye Calum," I said shakily.
I looked at Luke and he smiled a little.
Calum held my hand and as he got farther away, our hands started to slip.
And finally our fingers let go.
He followed the guys to their plane.
Calum looked over his shoulder gave me that smile I first fell in love with.
It still made my heart melt.
And when they finally closed the plane door, my dam broke.
I collapsed on the ground and burst into tears.