I wake up to Dylan smacking my door open. 'What are you doing you idiot' I shout as it's before 7 so I'm therefore, tired and grumpy.
'Are you forgetting it's your birthday?' He says smiling. 'Oh yeah... I'm going back to sleep' I say, laying my head back on the pillow. He yanks my quilt from me and won't give it me back. 'Dylan just leave me alone!' I say, folding my pillow round my ears. 'Ella get up! It's your Birthday! Your 18th!' He yells and I really want to kick him out. 'I don't care Dylan just give me half an hour then I'll get up ok!' I say.
'No get up now! You have presents to open!' He says. 'Urrrr Dylan just go away! Why do you care anyway!?' I say.
'Because I can finally take you out drinking!' He says.
'Yeah that's never going to happen!' I say and his face suddenly changes.
'Why?' He asks.
'Because... Your embarrassing' I say and decide to get up. I walk out to the bathroom, leaving Dylan stood in my room considering himself as an embarrassment.
I get out the bathroom and it gets worse, my mom now walks in with a load of carrier bags full of wrapped presents. About five years ago I probably would have been ecstatic to see all those presents but now I just don't see the point. 'Happy birthday darling!' My mom says, as excited as Dylan. 'Er...thanks' I say.
'Heres your presents are we going to open them?' She says, tipping them out of the bags. 'Wow thank you, Er... Do you want me to open them?' I say as it's clear she does.
'Yes!' She says and sits on the end of my bed. 'Here I got you your breakfast smoothie' Dylan says passing it to me, it's odd I wouldn't usually drink it this early, but I accept it anyway. 'Thanks' I say.
'Come on then, open your presents, I've got to go to work' Dylan says.
'Ok ok, which one first' I ask.
'Whatever it's up to you' my mom says.
'Where are my cards?' I ask. My mom points to a pile under a boxed present. I grab them and quickly look for the one thing I really want. 6 letters later I still don't see it. I don't understand why it's not here, it always is. 'Where could it be? It's not here!' I say to myself, forgetting mom and Dylan are there. 'Where is what?' My mom asks. I don't answer her as I'm still looking, it has to be here. I look for the one thing with a different stamp, an Australian stamp, but it's no where. 'Its not here' I say disappointed.
'What are you looking for?' Mom says.
'A letter... From Dad' I say. I had a thought that he would at least send me a card for my 18th, he's sent me postcards and cards the last couple of years he's been over there, but not this year.
'Oh well maybe it's just caught up in post, it takes a while to receive post from other countries' she says trying to make things better but it's not helping, there is no card here and I doubt there is one on the way. How could my own father miss my eighteenth birthday? 'Oh well, open your presents' Dylan says, he really doesn't care if he gets a card from our dad, because he hasn't kept in contact with him since he left, he hates him for leaving, I like to say that but it's not really what I think, I miss my dad so much and some form of contact from him on my birthday is one thing that I look forward to, although this year, I have nothing to look forward to.
I feel ungrateful as there's a pile of presents staring at me and I'm complaining.
I grab a small box with a ribbon around it and it's the most prettiest one out of them all. 'Thats actually your main present... But never mind open it up!' My mom says as excited as I should be. I untie the ribbon and open up the box. It's beautiful and stunning, but it's not going to make me feel any better because I'm upset that my dad doesn't care that I'm eighteen. It's a beautiful silver necklace which I'm sure cost more than my mom could afford. 'Oh my god mom it's gorgeous' I say looking at the heart shaped charm with a diamond surface. 'Yes well I wanted you to have something you could keep forever and remember it was given to you on your 18th' she says and I smile.
'Thank you I love it' I say and close the lid to the box. 'Aren't you going to wear it?' She asks looking confused. 'Er...' I say, and I look at her face and it's clear she wants me to, 'yeah ok then, put it on for me?' I ask.
'Of course' she says and fastens it round my neck. 'My present next?' Dylan suggests. I have the usual worry of what it might be, but I unwrap the one he points to anyway. I tear the paper open and see it's a box, of my favourite perfume, which is really expensive, so he must have spent more than twice as much on me as he usually does.
'Thank you Dylan!' I say shocked, as that's the nicest thing he's ever gotten me. 'Your welcome little sis' he says smirking. I smile back and I realise i had forgotten all about the disappointment from my dad, maybe I don't need him to care as clearly Dylan and my Mom are the ones that really care. 'How did you find this perfume though? It's quite hard to find?' I ask still shocked. 'Well I kind of had some help...' He says and I'm confused 'from mom?' I say as that's the only suggestion that comes to mind. 'No actually from... Nikki, I bumped into her and she offered to help me and she knows you well and... Well... I hope you're not mad' he says and nothing makes any sense now, I'm shocked and even more confused. 'Its fine... Thank you anyway' I say as I can't exactly be mad at him after he spent all this money on me. I just can't believe she wanted to help him.
I open the rest of the cards and presents from relatives. It's mostly money, chocolate and accessories. I start to rush when I notice I need to leave for college in five minutes.
I quickly get changed and do my make up and I'm running late. I leave my necklace from my mom on show but I decide to leave the massive 18 balloon behind. I rush to my car as I now do not have the time to walk. 'Hey wait' Jack says hurrying down his drive. 'Hey you ok?' I ask.
'Yeah how about you birthday girl?' He says smiling. 'Im good' I say lying, even though it's my birthday I can't help thinking about everything that happened yesterday. He walks to me and kisses me. He pulls away slightly but we are only a centre metre away 'happy birthday by the way' he says smiling. 'Thanks' I say. 'Ok sorry to completely ruin the moment, but, we've got to go to college' I say. 'Lead the way' he jokes. I unlock my car and get in, even though it's my birthday my luck is zero as my crappy car doesn't start. 'Oh god this piece of junk is broke again!' I say resting my head on the steering wheel. 'Calm down I can fix it for you' he says. 'Well how are we supposed to get to college now we don't have enough time to walk?' I say, getting stressed as I don't want to be late or miss this stupid therapy session that Jeremy has signed me up for, I hate to think what he would say if I got called to his office for the third time. 'Well I'll drive, my mom let's me use her car' he says and I agree.
'My dad wouldn't let me on the insurance for his nice car as he thinks i would destroy it or something' he says as we get into his mom's car. 'How are things with your dad?' I ask worried about what his response will be. 'Lets not talk about him. It's your birthday' he says and drives off.
'So what have you had?' He asks, on the way to college. 'This necklace off my mom' I say and I also tell him what Dylan got me. 'Sounds nice' he says smiling.
We get to college and we have a few minutes before lesson. 'Here this is for you' he says, handing me a present that he has tried to wrap as nicely as possible. I smile at him, I didn't think he would buy me a present, I've been with him for less than a week and he's already a better boyfriend than Jake ever was. 'You didn't have to get me anything' I say.
'Yes I did, I wanted to, an besides I wanted this too' he says looking at the box. I tear the paper off, which is harder than it seems as he's stuck so much tape to it which just makes me laugh. I take the lid off the box and remove the tissue paper and see two small pieces of card. I don't get what it is so I pick one up and see that they are tickets for something. 'Tickets?' I ask.
'Yeah look what it's for' he says smiling.
I read it and then I realise. 'A concert!' I say.
'Seriously Ella.. Look who we are seeing!' He says getting impatient with how long it's taking me to understand. 'Oh my God! My favourite rock band! Oh my God Jack, when did you? How did you—' I begin.
'I asked you're brother and he told me they were touring and tickets had just gone on sale, but I already knew that because I love their music too' he says.
'I can't believe this, this is amazing' I say and he smiles. I kiss him and say thank you. 'When is the concert?' I say scanning the paper for a date, I find it and read it out. 'The 20th of December... This year, that's soon, that's like five weeks oh my god' I say realising I should probably calm down as I must look like I'm having a panic attack. Even though we have only been together like 5 days, It makes me happy that he has booked tickets for a concert that's a month away, he must be sure we will still be together then, I know I am.
We go into college and the memories from yesterday suddenly come back. The whole thing with Jake. The Harry and Cindy situation. How I tried to confront Tyler Smart, which completely failed. 'Happy Birthday Ella' a few people say when I walk past. 'Thank you' I say.
'I didn't know you were so popular' Jack says. 'Im not' I say.
'Yeah you are, you know everyone' he says.
'I don't' I say with a laugh.
I go to go and see Jeremy for my appointment time as I don't want to get into any more trouble. 'Where are you going? Aren't you going to say hello to everyone?' He says ready to walk over to Zoe and Jerome. 'No it's ok I'm... Er... Just going to see Jeremy, I'll see you at break yeah?' I say.
'Yeah' he says and kisses me. He goes and sits with them.
'Hey Ella! Ella wait!' I hear Zoe say, but I don't want to see her after hearing that it was her that told Jerome who told everyone else about Jack. I look back and see her running slightly to catch me up, she shouldn't be running as she's pregnant. 'Ella!' She says as I carry on walking.
'What? What do you want?' I say.
'Happy birthday, Look Ella I'm sorry about yesterday' she says.
'What are you sorry for? Telling everyone?' I say. 'Ella it was Jerome and it was an accident, someone overheard him talking' she says.
'Yeah course' I say realising I'm being a bit mean, but surely I have the right to be.
'Look I truly am sorry ok? Here's your present' she says handing me a gift bag.
'Thanks' I say.
'So are we ok?' She says.
'No we're not ok Zo, you know I've got to see some woman now because apparently I'm getting in trouble all the time and I need to talk it out for some reason, and that's because of the gossip thing, which is Jerome's fault, maybe you would understand how I felt if I had told everyone you're pregnant, you wouldn't like it would you?' I say. 'No I wouldn't' she says.
'There you go then. Look I've got to go, see you later' I say and walk off.
I soon find myself sat in an office with this therapy woman staring at me, smiling. 'So Ella, aw what a lovely name' she says trying to cheer me up as she can see that I do not want to be here. 'Thanks I guess' I say.
'Right so why don't you tell me what's been bothering you Ella?' She says and leans back in her chair as though she expects me to tell her my whole life story, which is not going to happen. 'Nothing really' I say, which is a lie as there's plenty of things that have been stressing me out recently.
'Come on Ella I know there's something that's been bothering you' she says.
'You see this is why I didn't want to come here, you think something is bothering me, we'll you're wrong there's loads of things playing on my mind and I'm sick of it and the last thing I want to do is talk it out with you' I say and I expect her to get angry with me but she doesn't. 'Ella you can tell me, this information stays in this room' she says.
'You really want to know do you?!' I say.
'Yes I do so that I can help...' She begins to say. 'Well if you must know, it started when Jack moved in across the road from me, I knew I was attracted to him but I had to forget about it because I was with Jake, then I started to realise how badly Jake treated me and it turned out he cheated on me with someone I hate, then I decided to see Jack, which failed after a couple of weeks because he didn't tell anyone, then Jake and Jack had a fight over me which I somehow got the blame for, which is one reason I'm here talking to you. Then on that night I slept with Jack and I told my best friend and it somehow got out and Naomi told everyone and said I was a slut, and because I defended myself instead of letting her hurl insults at me, I ended up in trouble which is the other reason I'm here!' I say realising I've told a woman I don't know everything that I can't even tell my mom or my best friend.
'Thats good Ella, let it out' she says and I look at her confused. 'Why do you want to know? You don't really care, it's your job all you care about is your payslip' I say.
'Thats not true Ella, I care about you, I may not know you but, I'm here to look out for you' she says, not angry at all.
'Ok whatever' I say leaning back in my chair.
'Is there anything else that has been bothering you?' She says.
'Yes! Loads of things' I say, but I'm not really up for telling her my whole life story.
'Tell me and we can discuss it' she says.
'Well if you have to know... It's my birthday today and every year I get at least a postcard from my dad, he lives in Australia with his new wife, anyway it's my 18th and he hasn't sent me anything' I say.
'Before you get Upset about that Ella, you should think about the options, it may just have been posted late' she suggests.
'Look you don't know him, you don't know what he's like, he always let's me down, this is nothing new ok' I say.
'Would you like to talk about the problems you have with your dad Ella?' She asks.
'No, I don't have problems with my dad, he just pissed off to Australia with some girl that's young enough to be my sister' I say.
'How long has this been bothering you?' She asks. 'Are you serious? How long has it been bothering me? It never stopped bothering me! My family fell apart how would you feel?' I say. 'Actually Ella I know exactly what you have been through as something similar happened with my mom, you just have to move on with your life, otherwise it will be something that will always upset you' she says. 'Look I really don't want to talk about this anymore, I'm going to go' I say getting up and going to walk out. 'Ella my door is always open if you need someone to talk to' she says and I immediately know that, that will not me happening.
I shut the door behind me and lean against the wall. Talking about everything to someone I don't even know has in a way upset me. I start having flashbacks of the arguments my parents had, I remember sitting behind the door when they were shouting at each other and hearing the slap across my Dad's face when he admitted that he had cheated. When he stormed out and slammed the door, without realising I was there and instead just walked out. I was crying purely because I didn't know what to do or say, my mom was clearly the one that needed my attention but my dad had just stormed out and I didn't want him to do anything stupid. Remembering it all brings tears to my eyes now. What hurts the most is remembering the sight of suitcases by the door and watching my dad leave us and go to Australia. I push my hair away from my forehead. I need to pull myself together, recently I'm a wreck. I find myself crying with my head buried in my knees. 'Ella, are you ok?' I hear a worried voice say.
'Jake' I say when I see him and only him in the corridor. 'Ella what's happened? What's the matter?' He asks and him being so nice to me just confuses me even more, he hated me I was sure he did. 'Im fine' I say wiping my eyes with my wrists. 'Ella I know you, and I know you're not ok' he says. I can't believe he's being this nice, it's not like him, I don't understand. 'I just... I' I try to tell him but then I realise I don't want to. I don't know if I can trust him anymore. 'Here' he says offering me his hand to get up. I take it without thinking. He wipes away the tears from my cheek and I feel weird when he touches my face. 'Tell me what's wrong El' he says and I feel like he's the same person he was when we first got together, kind and considerate. But that changed, I witnessed it change. I try but I can't help myself from telling him, I feel like he understands me.
'Its my dad, I just... I miss him Jake, and everything is changing and everything is... Is falling apart' I say starting to sob, but I'm not embarrassed. 'Come here' he says and wraps an arm around my neck and then it feels like how it used to, as though nothing has changed. But that's when I realise that everything has changed, how can I be so stupid? Jake destroyed me, he treated me badly, no matter how nice he might seem now, I've seen the other side of him and I don't know if I can trust him. I pull away from him, I don't stop crying as I feel like an idiot. 'No Jake I can't do this, Ive got to go... To lesson' I say walking away.
'El wait' he says, but I carry on.
'Talk to me' he says.
'Ella!' Is the last thing I hear before I am away from him and on my way to my lesson.
I go through my history lesson, thinking about everything. Even though I'm not listening, this is still a history lesson for me, it's my history, that's all I am thinking about, I can never let anything go. 'Ella are you alright?' Our tutor says at the end of the lesson. 'Yes... Yes I'm fine' I say grabbing my bag and walking out, slightly behind everyone else. 'Hey Ella' I hear Cindy say, waiting for me to walk to her. 'Hi' I say, remembering my last conversation with her yesterday. 'Look sorry about yesterday have a good birthday' she says and walks off.
I carry on walking to the common room on my own. 'Hey El, happy birthday, Harry says, making me jump by leaning on my shoulders. 'Hey you ok today?' I say trying to look ok myself. 'Yeah I have to be don't I'
He says and I don't really know what to say, he clearly doesn't want to talk about it. We walk together to the common room and I find myself walking to Jack who is sat with Jerome. 'Hey Ella look I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry how many times do I have to say it before I'm forgiven?' He says and I manage to laugh although I probably shouldn't have. I decide to try and make amends with everyone as I'm sick of hearing everyone else saying sorry to me. 'Where is Zoe?' I ask. 'She went out of lesson to go to the loo, but that was a while ago' Harry says as they shared the same lesson. 'Ok I'll be right back' I say.
I hope she's in the toilet, I need to forgive her and accept her apology before I change my mind. It's weird when I walk in. There's no one in here. Then I hear crying, more like sobbing really. I don't know whether I should say something or ask if they're ok, then I start to worry, it could be Zoe. I walk round the corner to the other row of toilet cubicles. I start to worry even more. Then they start to moan like they're in pain. I need to know who it is, I'm sure it's Zoe. 'Zoe?' I say cautiously. Looking at the one occupied cubicle. 'Ella?' They reply back faintly. I know straight away it's her. 'Zoe open the door what's going on' I say trying to act calm but inside I'm terrified of what is going on. 'I can't' she says crying.
'Why Zoe, what's happening?' I say.
'I... I started to get these cramps in lesson, I've been having them recently... But this time it's... It' she goes on to say more but she stops. She let's out a sort of moan. 'Ella.. It- it hurts' she says. I don't know what I can do. 'Zoe listen to me you need to open this door now' I say.
'I can't it hurts I can't move' she says.
'You can Zo just slide the lock across' I say trying not to panic. It takes a little longer than I hoped but she manages to open the door. I push it open and I know what's happening but I can't say it, I need to be there for her. 'Ella, I'm bleeding' she says even though it's clear because I can see. 'Oh my god, Zoe just stay calm, I'm going to call an ambulance' I say.
'No I don't need one' she says.
'Zoe you do, your having a miscarriage' I say and I instantly see the look on her face change, I can tell she's about to cry her heart out, but she tries to stay strong. 'But I can't be... I just can't be' she says.
I ring for an ambulance and try to explain the situation. Then the question I was hoping they wouldn't ask comes up ''can you tell me how long she has been pregnant?'' The person says over the phone. 'Er... I don't know... No more than two months' I say even though I am sure it's less than that. They tell me an ambulance is on the way so I hang up. 'Zo I'm going to be right back just stay calm, I'm going to get Jerome' I say. She doesn't want me to leave her but she knows she needs Jerome.
I rush out to find him and I see him sat with Jack laughing, I'm about to go and tell him something that will completely change his mood. I avoid the guilt I'm feeling and go to tell him. 'Jerome Zoe is in trouble, I've called an ambulance everything will be fine, but you need to stay calm ok' I say trying to be as quiet as I can as I don't want everyone knowing. Jack looks as panicked as me. 'What? Ella what's happened where is she?' He says and stands up. 'In the toilet, you need to help me get her up. Jerome I'm sorry but, I think she's having a miscarriage' I say and I see the same look on his face that I saw on Zoe's. Jerome rushes off to the toilet and I go to follow him. 'Jack will you tell Jeremy what's happened please and that I've rang an ambulance?' I say.
'Yeah' he says on his way before I have chance to understand what he said. I catch up with Jerome. 'Zo, Zoe' he says panicking.
'Jerome' she says when she sees us.
'Right Zo we've got to get you up' he says.
She cries even more, I've never seen her this upset, but I don't blame her. 'Im sorry Jerome' she says.
'Dont you say sorry' he says and I'm glad he's being good about the situation. He gets her up and I hold her arm. She manages to walk but she's in bad pain. Were soon joined by Jeremy and Jack brings a chair. She sits down and Jerome holds her hand. Jeremy starts asking her a load of questions. I look at Jack he looks as shocked as I am. 'Its going to be alright' he says.
Before I know it, the ambulance is here and they take Zoe to hospital and Jerome goes with her, and the deputy head also goes in the ambulance as they think they need adult supervision. Jeremy goes into his office to inform their parents of the situation.
I don't know what to do with myself. Everything bad has happened lately, I don't know what to think. Everything is complicated and I'm stuck in the middle.