I get home after college. I have a history essay due in tomorrow. It's on some crazy control freak from the Greek times. I really have no interest or time I'm prepared to waste in writing it. I also have my friends problems to worry about. Although I don't want to they keep asking me for advice. My friend Nikki is annoyed because a guy called Harry is always trying to flirt with her. Then there's Cindy, she's always trying to flirt with Harry and he wants me to tell her that he doesn't like her. She's a bit crazy though, not badly crazy, but she's just a bit weird. At least Zoe and Jerome are ok, although they are so in love it's annoying they are all over each other. Zoe used to be my best friend but she is never there for me to talk to anymore she's always with Jerome. I am always sorting out my friend's problems before my own. One problem is Naomi, she's vile non of us like her, she's always with Jake, flirting with him and the worst thing is he doesn't even care. He's supposed to be with me not her, but he loves her attention. I had enough of her today, she stood with him all the way through lunch while I watched. I walked off eventually but he didn't follow me, he clearly doesn't care. That just makes me feel worse. I go up to my room to start this essay as I know I have no choice. I don't really have an excuse for not doing it. Apart from 'my life is messed up as my boyfriend is an idiot and my friends only care about there own problems', but I suppose she won't fall for that. As soon as I get round to starting my essay after watching the tv, my Mom gets home. I have my music on as weirdly it helps me work. It doesn't take five minutes before she rushes in, 'why is your music so loud?' She asks. 'Because I like it' I say turning it down slightly so she can hear me. She tuts and says 'what are you doing?'.
'History essay, listening to music and talking to you' I say.
'Well you shouldn't be listening to music when doing your work' she says'.
'Mom leave it ok, it helps me' I say.
'Whats got you so moody?' She asks.
'Nothing Mom' I say.
'Its him again isn't it, it's Jake, what's he done now?' She asks. She's right it is him that's annoyed me, among other things, but I really can't be bothered to talk to her about it now. 'No just drop it, I'm fine' I say, leaving my essay and walking out my own room. I go downstairs to the kitchen, and of course she follows me. 'Ella, I'm your Mother, tell me what is getting you down' she says. Why does she demand me to tell her everything, it's so irritating, that's what friends are for, although mine are not so I suppose I can only really talk to my Mom. 'Yes ok... It's Jake, and her again, Naomi she's all over him and he loves it and doesn't tell her to go away and it's just... It hurts, doesn't that prove he doesn't really care about me if he does things like that' I say, realising I've just told her everything that's driving me crazy. 'El, come here' she says hugging me.
'Look he doesn't care about her, you know he cares about you, boys love attention, it doesn't mean they like the person that's giving them the attention. Your Dad used to be like that all the time when we went out to pubs, but I didn't take any notice, as I knew he didn't care about them' she says. I almost laugh at her failed attempt to comfort me and solve my problems. 'Mom thanks for the advice but seriously you use you and Dad as an example. I'm not being harsh but that really doesn't help, because he obviously cared about other girls as he ran of with his receptionist and left us' I say, I walk off as I realise I've upset her by saying that. Again she follows. 'Im sorry, that probably was the worst advice I could give you' she says.
I break into a laugh as it was quite bad advice, she also laughs. 'Seriously though, I shouldn't have mentioned that either, I know it upsets you Mom, you can tell me' I say.
'Don't worry darling, I suppose he isn't worth mentioning but sometimes I have to, it may seem like I hate him but there was a time that I loved him' she says.
'I understand Mom' I say giving her a hug. I do feel bad for her at times bringing us up on her own, even though I'm seventeen and my brother's just gone twenty one. She does everything for us while my Dad is off in Spain or somewhere, with a posh Villa, and two Mercedes, not forgetting his huge house in London. I sit down in the living room with Mom. She makes us a drink, I think she still wants me to talk about things with Jake but I dont want to. 'You know, you should talk to Dylan, he knows all those things better than me' she says.
'No Mom' I say, there is no way I would talk to my brother about things with Jake he would just joke about it. He also gets on well with Jake. They even text each other, so I probably couldn't tell him anything as he would tell Jake. 'Oh that's a shame, what about Zoe, you don't seem to mention her much anymore, are you still friends?' She says. 'Yes we are but, she's always with Jerome, he's all she talks about so she doesn't have much time for my problems Mom' I say.
'Well she sounds like she's being a bad friend, you should tell her' she says.
'Yeah you know I might, I'm sick of it, she should at least give me advice' I say.
'Good, I wish I could give you good advice!' She says laughing. I go up to my room, I think about what my mom said, after a while I decide to ring Zoe. It rings for a while before someone answers. 'Zoe's phone' they say. 'Is that Jerome?' I say disappointed. 'Yes how are you Ella?' He asks. Now he is answering her phone too! I am not going to talk to Jerome about Jake he's his best friend. 'Yeah I'm fine' I say lying. 'Is Zoe there?' I ask.
'Yeah but she's... Were just about to go out' he says. 'Great, well I just wanted a bit of her time for some advice but it doesn't matter' I say. 'Ok' he says, like he doesn't care either, I consider Jerome a friend, but he doesn't seem bothered that I need a friend to talk to. 'Bye Jerome' I say hanging up. That conversation proves my friends don't care. I again avoid my essay and go back downstairs. 'Ella, would you cook dinner, I've laid out the recipe' Mom says. Of course I will, it's not like I have anything better to do like an essay due tomorrow. 'Why can't you?' I say.
'I always do it! Every night, it wouldn't hurt you' she says.
'What about Dylan?' I ask.
'He's still at work' she says. I realise that's probably not true as he goes out for a drink with his friends every Wednesday but tells mom he's still at work, it's not fair. 'Fine I will do it!' I say. I walk into the kitchen and see the recipe on the surface, it says, Vegan, Vegetable roast. It is again going to be a really horrible meal, as Mom is now cooking us things that are suitable to her new diet. It's stupid she was eating meat two weeks ago. I start chopping all the vegetables, when she shouts me again. 'What?' I shout back wiping the tears from my eyes, as I have been dicing onions. 'Will you come with me to the house across the street?' She asks. 'What? You just asked me to cook the dinner. Why do you want to go there?' I say.
'Well the new neighbours have moved in, I though we better go over and introduce ourselves and welcome them to the neighbourhood' she says. I I'm really not in the mood for meeting new people tonight as they will not think I am very pleasant. Also I have that history to do and she wants me to do the dinner. 'Mom do we have to? Can't we go another time?' I ask. It takes a while before she replies as she is thinking. 'Alright fine we will go tomorrow when I'm back ok?' She says. I still don't want to go but I don't really have a choice. 'Fine' I say. I finish the dinner. As expected it is horrible, my mom acts like she is enjoying but I don't know how she can it's vile. It's late when Dylan gets back so Instead of saying hello to him I leave mom to shout at him for lying to her as he is clearly drunk and I go upstairs. I go to bed and unplug my phone which has been charging since I rang Zoe. Two missed calls from Zoe which I find odd. Two texts from Jake which I choose to leave until last to check. A text from Harry and a text from Nikki. I know they will all want my advice apart from Jake who is at last probably wondering why I walked off today and didn't speak to him. Instead of helping them all as i always do I turn my phone off and go to sleep.
I wake up twenty minutes before my alarm is supposed to, as Dylan has his music on so loud. It's only six. I walk in and go straight to his iPod and unplug his speakers. 'Seriously your so annoying!' I say and walk out.
'Yeah and your so moody' he shouts back. I ignore him and get ready. After I've been in the shower and dried my hair, I decide to turn my phone back on. I do my make up while my phone refreshes. It buzzes over and over as all the previous messages have doubled. I see there is now a text from Zoe as well as missed calls. I read it, ''look I'm sorry I couldn't talk, I'm picking you up today, 8:30 ok? We can talk'' it says. I just send back ''ok'' as I am still annoyed with her. There's one off the list of problems, I then read Nikki's message, it says ''El you have to help me Harry keeps texting me, will you tell him I'm not interested''. I think, would she do the same for me?, probably not but I won't sink to her level. ''Sure I guess'' I send back. I then get to Harry's text. It's practically the same as Nikki's but he wants me to tell Cindy he's not interested, he also adds ''what does Nikki like to do? Because I want to take her out''. I feel bad for him when I read that, because he really likes Nikki and she keeps trying to avoid him. I don't want to upset him so I come up with an excuse. I write ''Harry, I'm sorry but I think she needs some time to get over her ex-boyfriend, I don't think she's ready for another one yet'', which is complete rubbish as her last relationship ended about three months ago and they were only together for about six weeks because he was horrible to her. Another text pops up from Jerome. ''Jake wants you to talk to him'' it says. Hopefully that means Jake thinks I am ignoring him, which I suppose I am. I don't know what to write back. I don't think Jake should get Jerome to text me, he can do it for himself. I have three messages from Jake so I suppose he has tried to talk to me. I reply to Jerome, I say ''why?'', but I don't really want him to reply. I then get to Jake's texts. The first text says ''what was the matter today? xxxx'' I suppose he has gave me four kisses out of guilt, he knows he's what's annoyed me. The second text says ''is it me?, it is isn't it? Sorry'', he makes it sound like he has done nothing wrong. I ignore both texts, along with the third text saying ''please reply xx'' and the missed call. That's finally all my notifications gone and I am relieved when my lock screen is clear. I finish my make up with my mascara and go to get changed. I spend ages deciding what to wear as usual. I finally decide and then I grab my bag and boots. It took me a while to get ready so it's now 8:00am. I've got twenty minutes until Zoe turns up. It's only me, her, Jake and Jerome that can drive, so we are the ones that have to drive everyone else around. It's a bit pointless though because we are two couples so we don't use four cars when we go out. Me and Zoe have refused to take the others to College as they can walk, but that doesn't stop us from driving. I grab some fruit for breakfast, I sit down at the table, I am then joined by Dylan. As soon as he sits down he says 'so what's got you so moody?'. I send him a glare and say 'nothing just leave it'.
'Come on you can tell me' he says. I really can't tell him because he would just make a joke out if it, as usual. 'Its nothing Dylan, shouldn't you be at work' I say.
'Ok I know when I'm not wanted, only kidding though I do know what it's about, mom asked me to talk to you' he says. That makes me more angry as I told Her I wouldn't talk to him about it. 'Oh did she well I don't want your advice because you are another person who doesn't really care just like the rest of them' I say raising my voice.
'Ok! Someone's angry... I feel sorry for Jake having to put up with your temper' he says laughing, but it's not funny. 'Shut up Dylan just go away!' I shout at him and throw my apple core at him. 'MOM!...' He shouts before I walk off as Zoe text me saying she is here. 'Bye Dylan' I say, before shutting the door in his face. I walk across the street to Zoe's car. I get in and she looks guilty. 'Before you say anything I'm sorry about yesterday' she says. I am surprised, as I didn't think she knew I was annoyed with her. 'I just feel lonely Zoe, I have no one to talk to' I say.
'You have me, I know I haven't spoke to you much lately, I'm sorry, it won't happen again' she says. I think for a while before I say 'ok then, but promise you will answer your phone the next time I urgently need to talk yeah?' I say.
'Oh yes sure, sorry Jerome answered yesterday he was just joking around and we were going for a meal for his Dad's birthday' she says. 'Don't worry I understand I just wish me and Jake were more like that' I say.
'Right this is the plan I'm going to drive us to college and your going to tell me all about what's going on with Jake and I'm going to listen and then we will avoid him all day... As much as we can' she says.
'That sounds like a good plan' I say smiling.
She drives off and I tell her about Naomi and Jake. She understands unlike my Mom and Dylan. She parks up and we walk over to college. We both have Sociology first, thankfully Jake isn't in our class. We walk across the field to the common room. 'Hey Ella!' I hear someone shout. I look over and see Harry calling me over. 'I will be right back' I say. I go up to him, checking he's not with Jake. 'What is it?' I ask.
'Its about your text, she's the one that broke up with her ex so I know she's not upset about him' he says. I panic, what do I say now? 'Erm... Well she's...—' I begin saying, before he interrupts, 'don't lie to me, don't make an excuse, I know she doesn't want to go out with me but can you try and convince her to give me a chance? Why doesn't she like me? I could change' he says.
'Well I can try but she thinks your... A bit of a player' I say as I remember Nikki said that about him once.
'What how?' He asks, I go to answer him until I see Jake turn up. 'Er I'll... Talk to you... Later' I say walking off.
'But Ella...' He says which gets Jake's attention. He sees me and starts to walk over. Without thinking I walk out the doors of the common room, Zoe joins me. I worry he's still going to try and get my attention so I carry on to our sociology class. When we get there I realise he's no where to be seen. Cindy joins us in sociology. 'Hey... Guys' she says slowly like she's unbelievably happy, that's what I mean about her being crazy. 'Hey Cind' I say. She sits at her desk and doesn't bother to get her folder out, although she probably hasn't brought it. After sociology I go straight to history and avoid the common room. It's just me that does history out of my group, so I'm only own. Somehow today I see that as a good thing, purely so I don't have to hear their problems. I never got round to doing my essay last night. No one else has done it apart from Naomi, of course she has because she's perfect at everything. I hate her so much, I am not the sort of person that hates people but, I make an exception for her because she's so horrible. Our tutor doesn't seem too bothered. He just tells us to finish it for next week. This time next week I probably won't have done it. After that I go back to the common room to meet Zoe. I see her in the corner with Jerome and Jake. I stand by the door while deciding what to do. 'Ella?' Someone says. It's Harry again. 'What?' I say and he can tell I don't really want to talk to him now. 'Why did you leave before?' He says. 'I saw Jake, I'm a bit annoyed with him at the moment, I don't want to talk to him' I say.
'Oh that's awkward. You know he's over there right?' He says.
'Yes that's why I've got my back to him, just talk quietly. Is he looking?' I ask.
'No I don't think he's noticed you, he's on his phone' he says.
'Why has he annoyed you? You can tell me Ella, I may be his mate but I'm your my friend too' he says. Something must have changed overnight, because today everyone is being there for me for a change. 'Its just... Naomi again... She's always with him and he obviously likes her company and he flirts with her right in front if me, I've had enough of it' I say. He doesn't look surprised, like he guessed it would be about her. He smiles as though he is trying to comfort me, I know he finds it awkward and he doesn't know what to say. 'Anyway what did you want?' I ask. 'Well does Nikki really think I am a player?, can you try and tell her I've changed and I don't see her the way I see other girls, she's different' he says, I do believe him, I've known Harry since we were four so I can tell if he's lying. 'I can try, I'll try and arrange A night out for us all on Friday and I'll make sure she comes yeah?' I say.
'Thanks El your the best' he says.
'I try my best' I say joking. Before turning around to tell Zoe I'm ready to go, I tell Harry I've got to go, he leaves anyway as he has a lesson, which he is probably late for. I decide to text Zoe instead, ''I'm ready to go now Zo'' I write. I turn and see her read my text. She replies, ''yeah ok I'll be ten mins, I'm waiting for my art book, where are you?'' Her text says. ''Common room by the doors'' I send back. Before it has finished sending I realise I will have to sit with Jake while I wait with her so I send another text saying ''it's ok I'll walk''. Before it's finished sending she calls me 'Ella!'. Great, It was her plan to avoid Jake all day. He looks up and starts to walk to me as Zoe says 'I can take you home'. I hesitate and see Jake is getting closer, he wants to talk to me, I can tell. 'No it's fine honest' I shout back. I panic and start to walk out. I know I'm might be acting childish, but I don't care, I wouldn't know what to say to him. 'Ella!' Jake shouts.
'Ella' he says again. He is not far behind me but I'm already out the doors. There is no one around so I walk faster. I'm on the pathway from the common room now. I thought he would have stopped but he must have started running as I hear him behind me. 'El' he says. I turn around.
'What?' I say.
'Will you tell me what is going on? Why are you avoiding me and ignoring me?' He asks.
'Im not' I say trying to end our conversation. 'Come on El it's obvious' he says.
'Yeah ok, you want to talk about obvious Jake, how obvious is it that you like Naomi Hill? You know, it's so obvious that you flirt with her, right in front if me' I say.
'What? Naomi she's nothing it's only a joke you know I don't like her' he says.
'Seriously it's only a joke, is that all you can say, Jake you do it all the time I'm supposed to be your girlfriend, not her' I say my voice starts to break up as it upsets me he doesn't think there's anything wrong with flirting with other girls in front of me.
'You are my girlfriend I don't care about her, look I really don't see what the problem is' he says. 'Are you saying I'm over reacting? How would you feel if I flirted with other guys?' I say.
'Well... Nothing I suppose because I know they mean nothing to you because your with me' he says.
'Really... Well what if I flirted with Tyler Smart in front of you' I say.
'Why would you mention that idiot?' he says.
'Yes well that's exactly the point I would never do that, but you would, you know I hate Naomi, she's always thought she's better than me' I say. He remains silent like he finally understands what I'm saying. I stand closer to him and say 'I love you Jake, you know that but when you do things like this, it upsets me don't you understand?'.
He's the one that looks upset now. 'I won't upset you again I promise' he says. I don't think about what he says, or whether I believe him before I say 'ok'.
'Were good then?' He asks. Then I realise we aren't good but, I feel a bit better now, part of me does believe him. Then the other part of me thinks, 'were good then', is that all he can say. I don't think about my decision, I just decide like it's normal to make up with him, does that mean it happens too often?
'Yes of course we are good, just don't screw this up again, and remember you have to work for my forgiveness' I say. He smiles 'I love you' he says and kisses me, I kiss him back although all I think is, does he really love me, would someone that loved you upset you like he did. I feel like my brain wasn't involved in the decision to make up with him. Like I didn't think about it. I suppose he didn't do anything major. The reason it hurt me is because it isn't the first time he's done it. 'Do you want me to walk you home?' He asks, he says it as though he doesn't really want to so I say 'no I'm fine'.
'Alright well I'll text you later ok?' He says.
'Ok' I say, he smiles and I start to walk back. The whole way I can't stop thinking about him. Part of me is happy that we talked it out, but another part of me thinks I shouldn't have forgiven him so easily. I feel like our conversation changed nothing, like i'm still upset. I'm glad I've only had half a day so I can go home and watch great love movies and eat ice cream. A text alert goes off on my phone. I check it and it's from Zoe. ''What happened did you talk?'' It says.
''Yeah we're fine, But I'm still upset, I didn't tell him that, but I am'' I send back. I am still upset and she knows that one conversation with him wouldn't make me feel better. Another texts comes through ''I know, cheer up El, it will be fine'' it says.
I decide not to reply as I think, will it be fine? I think about this the whole way home, I can't think about anything else. I walk up my street and see a huge lorry at the house opposite ours. That reminds me, Mom will be dragging me round there tonight, to introduce ourselves or something stupid. It's not twenty years ago, neighbours don't speak these days. Instead of watching films I do my history essay when I'm home. I thought if I do it now I won't be worrying about it next week. I also thought I would do it before something else goes on with Jake. After two hours of writing the stupid essay, my Mom is back. I expect she will come upstairs, demand me to turn my music down and demand information on me and Jake and everyone else. I know things seem fine with Jake but, I don't feel fine. If she asks me I'll just say I am fine as I don't want to sit through another conversation about it with mom, like yesterday. I'm wrong as I don't here her come upstairs, so I go down to her. 'Mom?' I say.
'El there you are, are you going to come with me to the neighbours then like you said?' She asks, she makes it sound like it was my idea. 'Isn't it a bit early' I say trying to put it off. 'No we don't want to go too late' she says. I suppose I have no choice in the matter. 'Come on then' she says.
'Fine let me just get my phone' I say.
'El just leave it you don't need it all the time, besides we will only be there ten minutes' she says. I guess she is right and I probably won't get any messages from Jake. He said he would text me but sometimes he forgets.