When I get to Zoe's it's late. I sit with her while she is crying for at least to hours. She keeps saying her relationship is over.
'Are you going to keep it?' I ask.
'Of course. I have to. I can't have an abortion' she says.
'Well why not?' I ask.
'Because it's wrong' she says. If I were in her position, I would give myself time to think about what to do but I think I would have to have an abortion.
'I have a future planned. I wanted to finish college and get a degree at uni then maybe move to the city and get a job there... Get some savings' she says, still crying.
'You can still do that Zoe' I say.
'No I can't. A baby changes everything. Also if Jerome has left me that makes me a single mom which just ruins my future plans even more!' She says.
'Right this is ridiculous. Jerome should be here sat with you, talking it through, I'm going to call him' I say.
'No don't Ella it's late and he won't answer anyway' she says.
'Zoe look at you. You're in a mess. You need him here. I don't care what he thinks about it, he's coming round now' I say. She seems to accept what I say as she knows she won't win. I ring Jerome.
Thirty seconds later... No reply. I try two more times. Then I try on Zoe's phone but still no answer. It is late, twelve the clock says, but I don't care, Jerome can't expect Zoe to deal with this on her own.
'Does your mom know?' I ask.
'Yes she's been ok so far but my dad doesn't know and I am dreading what he will say when he finds out, especially if Jerome decides to leave me' she says.
'Im sure he won't. What exactly did he say when he left?'
'He just said ''I can't do this'' and walked out' she says and I remember that's exactly what I said to Jack before Zoe rang me. I still can't stop thinking about our kiss. I'm such a terrible person.
'I have no choice, I'll have to ring Jake' I say.
'Why? How can he help?' She asks, still crying. 'He can ring Jerome. Jerome will answer his phone if he knows it's Jake. Do you mind me telling him?' I say.
'Well I was only going to tell you and Jerome but if you have to' she says.
I ring Jake. It rings a while before he answers and I can hardly hear him, the background noise is so load. He's obviously at some party. 'Hello' he says. I feel so guilty when I hear his voice, I've kissed someone else.
'Hey Jake can we talk' I say. He sighs but then answers 'yeah sure, hang on' he says.
I assume he goes outside or something as it goes quieter and I can't hear the music anymore. 'What is it?' He asks.
'Can you do me a favour?' I ask.
'Depends. What is it?' He asks. I'm annoyed as he can't just say yes and do me a favour, then I realise I have no right to say that after what I've done. 'Can you call Jerome and tell him to get his ass to Zoe's house right now?' I say and he seems confused. 'What? Why?' He asks. I look at Zoe and I can tell she doesn't want anyone else to know yet. 'Just please do it, make sure he comes. Please' I say, I can't believe I'm asking him a favour when I cheated on him less than an hour ago. 'Fine I will, see you later' he says and hangs up. 'He said he will ring him' I tell Zoe.
She seems nervous and she has finally stopped crying but I can tell she is still upset. In a few minutes Jake texts me saying ''he's on his way''.
After about half an hour Jerome turns up. Zoe refuses to answer the door to him so I have to go. 'You have some explaining to do' I say. 'Where is Zoe?' He asks.
'She is In there' I say and he goes to walk in 'Jerome this isn't her fault, you can't blame her for anything. She needed you and you left. This is your last chance, you know that right?' I say. He nods and walks through. They start to talk while I wait in the doorway.
'Im sorry Zo, I really am. I shouldn't have left' he says. She hugs him and they make up. I look at them linked together. They really are in love, something I've never really experienced. I wish my relationship was as simple as there's, but it's not, especially after what happened with Jack. I decide to go as they have things to talk about and It doesn't involve me. 'Im going to go, hope you two are ok' I say.
'Thankyou Ella, I don't know what I would have done if you didn't come round' Zoe says. 'Its fine. I'll see you soon' I say.
I drive home, at least I think I am before I realise I'm going completely the wrong way. I can't stop thinking about Jack and Jake. I should have my mind set on Zoe as she's pregnant, but it isn't. This weekend has been terrible and it's only Saturday. It's not just that I feel guilty, it's the way things were left with Jack.
I get home even later than I expected. And I know I'm in trouble when I walk through the door and see my mom waiting. 'Oh so you're ok? A phone call would have been nice or even a text' she says and her voice is raised.
'Mom not now I've had a really bad night and...' I say.
'You have had a bad night? I've been worried sick Ella!' She says.
'Yes I have had a bad night! A terrible one and the fact that I know I can't talk to anyone about it even you, just makes it worse!' I say and she starts to look sad.
'Ok tell me' she says slightly less angrily.
'No mom because you don't care. You never do!' I say on the verge of crying.
'Of course do' she says.
'No I'm going to bed, I can't deal with this' I say. 'Ella come back and talk to me!' She says but I've already walked off. I fall onto my bed and that's when the tears come and don't stop. Everything is just falling apart. Zoe is pregnant. Nikki and I are hardly talking. Harry is going to ruin Cindy. I don't want to be with Jake anymore. I like Jack but I know he wouldn't wait around for me forever. Now I've annoyed my mom as well, I don't think my life could get anymore complicated.
When I wake up I notice I've slept through till noon. I'm not surprised, my head was spinning last night.
I spend all day thinking about yesterday. I rang Zoe and she seems better today. She said that Jerome stayed over and they talked things out. I used to wish Jake was more like Jerome but I don't care anymore I've had enough of him treating me like rubbish. He clearly doesn't want to be with me and I'm not going to stick around acting like his girlfriend when ever HE wants me to. I shouldn't feel guilty considering how many times he's flirted with other people in front of me, like Naomi. I don't ask for much and I'm not saying I'm the best person in the world but, surely I deserve better than him.
I wake up on Monday with a completely different attitude. Instead of moaning around, I decide to deal with it. I get up and go straight to college.
I'm disappointed when I get to the common room and I don't see Jake anywhere. I see Cindy, she's sat with Harry and she seems a lot better, I just hope she stays like that. I don't see Jerome or Zoe but I assume they have a lot of things to deal with.
I try to get through my lessons quickly but I can't, I just want to find Jake.
In last lesson I decide to text him. ''Where are you?'' I say. Of course he doesn't reply. The lesson is soon over and I go straight back to the common room. I see him immediately, sat in the corner on his phone, so he clearly saw my text and decided to ignore it. I walk over to him. 'Hey' I say and take a deep breath as I'm nervous of what's going to happen. He doesn't even look up or acknowledge me. 'Jake?' I say and he finely looks up. 'Whats up?' He says and looks back at his phone. 'Can we talk' I say.
'Go ahead' he says.
'In private' I say as Harry is sat next to him.
'Anything you say you can say in front of our mates' he says laughing and not being serious. 'Ok fine! I'm sick of this I've had enough' I say and my voice is practically shouting. He starts to look serious and suggests we go outside. We stand by the exit from college. 'What are you talking about?' He says.
'Its over Jake, I don't want to be with you anymore! I'm sick of you treating me like I'm cheap trash!' I say.
'Are you fucking kidding me? You're breaking up with me' he says.
'Yes ok I am! I can't deal with you anymore and besides I...' I say, stopping myself as I go to mention Jack. 'Besides what?' He asks. 'I... I kissed someone else' I say and I feel terrible as I say it. He just starts smirking and shaking his head like he doesn't care. 'Who? What jerk did you kiss then?' He says.
'He's no jerk, he treats me better than you ever have and...' I shout.
'I don't give a crap Ella, your nothing, I look good when I'm with you but I can get better than you and I already have' he says.
'What are you saying? Naomi?' I ask and my voice starts to break up. 'Well there's been so many I can't remember' he says, being a complete jackass. I go to push him away from me but he holds me back by grabbing my shoulder. 'Get off me! Im glad it's over I've never been happier' I tell at him.
'You were right. You were just a cheap whore to me' he says and I walk away I can't even look at him.
I walk home. It takes me ages to get back I don't know why. I guess I've just been feeling sorry for myself. When I get to my street I don't go home. I find myself walking to Jack's it's the only place I want to be. I knock the door praying he will answer. 'Hey' he says when he does answer. 'I was going to...' He begins before I have to tell him.
'Ive left him the idiot' I say and my voice starts to break up again and I feel new tears on my face. He looks understanding. 'Come here' he says. I walk into his house but were still in the doorway. He wraps his arms around me and brings his hand up and lays it over my hair. 'Are you alright?' He asks and his voice is soft. He pulls back slightly and wipes the tears from my cheek with his thumb. I feel so much better with him. He makes everything better. He treats me the way I should be treated. That is why I had to break up with Jake, All I ever felt for him is gone. Jack is the one I want to be with.