I walk to college alone in the morning. It's starting to get cold which means one thing it's nearly winter. That means it's my birthday soon, a month to be exact. Half way through November, the 16th. There's been so much going on recently that I've forgotten all about it. I don't know what to do for it. It's my 18th so it should be special. I don't particularly want a party, as I've had enough of them recently.
I check my phone. It looks like everyone replied to my texts last night. Zoe and Jerome sent similar replies, saying they are ok now. Then I get to Cindy's text. ''Hey Ella! I'm great thank you and were good just seeing each other I guess'' it says. I do find it odd that they're only seeing each other. It's been over a month so I would have thought they would make official.
I once again go to the common room to see if Zoe's around. I don't see her anywhere, I don't see Jerome either. I do see Jake. He's stood over the other side of the room with about three girls, one of them is Naomi. 'Hey!' I hear someone say. When I look I see Cindy. 'Cindy' I say.
'Are you ok?' She asks.
'Yeah fine well...' I begin.
'What has happened?' She asks.
'Nothing bad... Well I've broken up with Jake' I say quietly so no one else hears.
'Finally! No offence but he's been horrible to you recently' she says and I manage a laugh as she always tells the truth even if it hurts.
'Yeah you are right' I say.
'Come on let's go to lesson' she says.
After a few lessons I notice it's past twelve so I assume Jack is here now.
During lesson change over, Harry joins us. They seem happy to see each other but they don't kiss each other or anything. We go down the corridor. I see Jack at the other end. We are walking closer to one another. I smile but he hasn't noticed me yet. 'Alright mate' Harry says to Jack when we are close enough. 'Alright' he says back to Harry. We are just passing and he's just about to walk away when I say 'hey'.
'Hey' he says back and walks off.
I feel a bit off put bye him. He could have at least said more than Hey.
In last lesson I get a text from Jack saying ''I'll meet you outside front gates to walk yeah? xx''
He sounds completely different on text. This confuses me. ''Ok then xx'' I send back.
I meet him outside and we walk back. I can't stop thinking about us. But I don't know what ''us'' is. I have to ask. I don't know what else to do. 'So what's going on with us?' I ask.
'Well... I guess were just taking it slow yeah?' He says with a smile. I suppose it's best for us to take it slow. After I've only just broke up with Jake it's probably for the best.
Two weeks later and we are still taking it slow. It doesn't bother me but Jack clearly doesn't want anyone to know about us. I understand he doesn't want his parents to know, I don't want my mom to know either although I'm sure she's guessed what's going on. He doesn't want anyone to know not even people at college. I keep telling myself it's because there's nothing for people to know as we aren't a couple or anything, but I'm starting to think it's not that. He never seems to want to go to college together either. I stop as I realise I'm again overthinking it.
It's Friday and my birthday is in a week. I still don't know what to do, who to invite. My mom wants a family party but I'm not too keen on that idea. I will probably end up having a party like I usually do. I'm just about to leave for college when I look out the window and see Jack walking down his path with his earphones in and his bag strap hanging across him from shoulder to hip.
I decide to catch up with him. I find myself running to catch up with him. 'Jack! Hey!' I say but he doesn't hear as he is listening to music. I finally catch up with him at the end of our street. 'Oh hey' he says and smiles.
'You off to college?' I say.
'Yeah' he says.
'Then let's walk together' I say.
'Er... Ok then' he says as though he doesn't want to walk with me. I decide to ask him instead of trying to tell myself what I thinks going on. 'What is wrong with me?' I ask.
'What do you mean?' He says, laughing as he's confused although I'm being clear.
'You don't seem to want to be seen with me at all' I say. He shakes his head.
'Of course I do. Isn't it obvious?' He says.
'No it's not actually' I say. He doesn't say anything. 'Why don't you want to be seen with me?' I ask.
'I do it's just...' He begins.
'Just what?' I say.
'Nothing' he says. We are silent but we carry on walking. It's so awkward. We soon approach college and it gets to the point where someone needs to say something. 'Look I do want to be seen with you, I just don't know what we are' he says.
'Is that it? Just say we are seeing each other. We are aren't we?' I say. He starts to laugh and I'm confused. 'You said you would mess with my head' he says. He manages to force a slight smile onto my face. 'Yeah well you said you wouldn't break me' I say and push him in a flirty way. 'Ok we are seeing each other, does that mean we can kiss in public?' He says lifting his eyebrows. 'No' I say and laugh. 'Hug?' He says.
'Hmm... No' I say and he jokingly sighs.
'Hold hands?' He says less enthusiastically, than when he said ''kiss''.
'Hmm... Yeah ok then' I say. He grabs my hand and makes me smile.
Then comes the awkward part. Walking into the common room. 'You sure you want to do this?' Jack asks as he knows people will see us. 'Yeah sure' I say. We walk in. Our hands still together. Nobody looks at us thankfully. Then I see Zoe and notice her pregnancy is starting to show, I wonder if anyone else knows. She looks up. 'Ella!' She says, loud enough for everyone to hear, including Naomi and of course, Jake. I try to avoid him but I see he starts to walk over to us. 'Oh so this is the poor idiot you've got now' he says quietly but when everyone goes quiet it's easy to hear what he's saying. 'Jake don't' I say losing Jack's grip. 'Its a free country. I can say what I like' he says.
'I know that but I have no reason to hear what you have to say' I say.
'God you really have turned into an annoying bitch' he says and I nearly slap him before I notice Zoe is by me and she holds me back. 'Don't you dare call her that' Jack says sticking up for me. 'So your the one she decided to cheat on me with? Not being funny but you could do better' Jake says.
'How can you say she cheated on you when your the one that hooked up with every other girl you saw' Jack says and I can see he's getting angry. 'What do you care who I sleep with?' Jake says 'it doesn't actually concern you'. Jack walks closer to him.
'You want to learn to respect people, that's all I want to say' Jack says.
'What respect her? There's no need she's just a dumb bitch' Jake says laughing and I have the urge to slap him again. 'Didn't you hear me? I said DONT call her that!' Jack shouts at him. 'Why? What are you going to do?' Jake says. He goes to hurl out some other insult before Jack grabs him and pushes him up the wall. 'Just leave her alone' Jack says. Jake aggressively pushes Jack away. 'Just calm down both of you' I say trying to stop them. 'Oh shut your face Ella!' Jake says and that's when Jack gets angry. He throws a punch at him and then they start fighting. I try to stop them but they don't stop. I can't help noticing how much more I'm attracted to Jack when I see him sticking up for me and fighting. I notice he is the better fighter here. 'Just stop!' I say but it's like I'm invisible as they carry on and people start egging them on. Jerome soon starts to try and break them up but It doesn't work. That's when our head of college comes out. 'Whats going on!' He shouts and rushes over to the crowd that's formed around us. He pushes through people and reaches Jack and Jake. 'Stop this immediately!' He says holding Jack back while Jerome stands in Jake's way. 'Both of you in my office now!' He says. I try to walk away so he can't see me, but it doesn't work. 'Ella you too!' He says stopping me from walking off in shame.
Before I know it the three of us are stood in his office, with me in the middle, separating the two of them. 'This is stupid' Jake says.
'Shut up' Jeremy our head of college says.
'Now would you like to tell me what is going on' he says and I assume he's asking me.
'Nothing Jake is just a complete arse!' I say which is my favourite insult for him. 'Me!' Jake says, shocked. 'Yes you! Your an idiot and I am pretty sure I'm beginning to hate you!' I shout at Jake.
'Ella calm down!' Jeremy says.
'No why should I? I'm sick of him! He is such an idiot' I yell. Jack keeps quiet but I know he agrees with me.
'Says you' Jake says.
'Oh just piss off!' I shout at Jake.
'Ella! Language' Jeremy says getting slightly angry. 'Oh I don't care! You need to just stay away from me Jake!' I shout.
'Apologise to Jake please' Jeremy says and I get even more angry. 'Are you joking he's the one that should be apologising to Ella!' Jack says. 'Just do it please' Jeremy says.
'No screw this' I say and open the door. I go to walk out. 'Ella!' Jeremy says but his impatience doesn't bother me. I walk out and I see people waiting to see what's happening. 'Ella Morgan get back here now!' He says calling me by my full name, which I hate because it's the part of my dad I'm stuck with, his last name. I ignore what's happening and leave.
I do feel bad for leaving Jack there but he did start the fight. I get back home and my mom is still here. 'What are you doing here?' She asks shocked. 'Well I don't know but... I'm pretty sure I've been suspended from college' I say but I don't really care. 'What why?' She asks looking concerned. 'Well... I was kind of the reason two people started fighting, then I said a few bad things in front of head of college, and to top it off I walked out, well technically I walked home' I say.
'Ella! Do you not care about your education at all?' She asks getting angry.
'Oh I did but, life has gotten so complicated recently that college isn't one of my priorities now' I say.
'What has happened to you Ella! You're out if control, I don't know what to do with you. You don't tell me anything that's going on with you, how do you expect me to help you?' she says getting stressed.
'I don't expect you to help me' I say and walk upstairs. 'Come back here we need to talk about this!' She says.
'No we don't' I say and carry on. I assume she will decide to ring college to see what's going on, but I really don't care.