Luke and I haven't talked since our fight. Every night, Luke would come into the room, and grab his pillow and walk down stairs. I tried talking to him last night, but he didn't answer. He didn't even look at me. When I needed help with the kids, he would just take them and not talk to me. He wouldn't look at me, talk to me, hug me. Nothing. It was getting to the point where I couldn't take it. I haven't cut since before Zoe was born, until the night of the fight. Everything was spinning around in my head. No one knows I started again though. I've been cutting since that night. I'm afraid that Luke will leave me, and never talk to me again if we don't talk. So here goes nothing.
"Luke." I said walking downstairs. He was holding Ashton on his lap, and they were watching tv. "Ashton go see if uncle cal wants to play with you." I said. Ashton nodded and ran up stairs. I turned the tv off. "What the hell!" He yelled. "Listen to me." I said. He turned his head. "Fine. Turn your head all you want. But you will listen to me whether you like it or not." I said. He sighed. He kept his head turned towards the door. "Remember when Michael asked why I haven't been going out lately." I said. No answer. "Well, that's because I started again. Luke, I started cutting again. And it's worse this time. I'm not eating." I said. He turned his head and looked down. My bracelets were really tight around my wrist. "If you care about me. Or our family, you will help me. And help me stop." I said, crying. "Because Luke, I can't do this if you won't talk to me. I can't do this if you won't look at me. You couldn't ever tell that something was wrong. Yes, I went out to pizza with a friend. And yes I did say that you didn't need to know, but that doesn't mean I cheated on you. Do you know how many times I think you cheated on me, all those times you came home late from a friends house. Or when you say you're going out to see Sarah. Or when you're meeting up with Kylie. I do think you're cheating, but then I remember that you love me. And that you would never do that. So why is it so different for me? Why can't you believe me when I say I didn't cheat on you?" I said sobbing now. He got up and hugged me. "I do believe you. I never stopped loving you sky." He said. I hugged him tightly, sobbing into his chest. I could hear his heart racing fast and faster each time I breathed. "Then please, please forgive me." I said. He nodded. "And sky. I will help you. We all will. You know we will. Just please, stop cutting." He said. I nodded. He kissed my head, and we laid on the couch. Our hands intertwined with each other's.