I sat in my bed just staring. That's all I ever do anymore. I pull out my notebook and pen and write once more.
I miss you terribly. You gave me no explanation as to why you left, you don't answer your phone, or my texts..but you seem to read them. I've been writing you for 235 days now. That's a lot of letters that haven't been answered. I need to at least know why? You owe me that much Harry. I thought we had everything we needed together? I guess I was wrong though wasn't I? Funny to think that we were in love. I'm starting to think it was just me, I hope I'm wrong Harry. I don't even know where you are..or if you miss me at all. I doubt that, I've heard of what you've been doing with your life through old friends. No one will tell me where you are though, I just want you to come back home. I have a lot to tell you. I need you here, with me. I'll be waiting here at home for you.
I grab the envelope and seal it shut, I stand up and walk out to my mailbox. The mailman always knows to stop. I shut the mailbox and walk back inside. I turn on the heat and pull on my sweater. It's freezing. I grab my guitar and sit out on my balcony, in jeans, a black knit sweater, and my winter boots. I start strumming and just thinking of new lyrics.
"I still remember the look on your face
Been through the darkness at 1:58
The words that you whispered for just us to know
You told me you loved me so why did you go away, go away"
I stop playing and look out at the cars driving down this busy street. New York City, it'd a beautiful place. I smile slightly as is slouch back into my chair. Suddenly my phone starts ringing. I answer hoping it's him but it's not.
"Hey babes!" My best friend, Mac says excitedly.
"Hey.." I say with no tone in particular.
"Cheer up, it's you fucking birthday for crying out loud." She says demandingly. "I've got two VIP passes to Ed Sheeran tonight..I'll pick you up at 5:30. Look hot!" She shouts.
I force a laugh and stand up to head inside. I lay down for nap, it's 8:00 in the morning. I have been up all night as well.
I wake up at 4:30 and feel very refreshed. I head to my closet and search for what seems to be ages. I grab my black skinny jeans, a grey sweater and my black boots. I put on a red velvet beenie, and apply light makeup. I add red lips for a more winter look. I sigh at my reflection and walk down the stairs.