The night was so peaceful, I wish I could be like that, content and happy with no worries of what might become of me. The shroud of darkness engulfed me, begging me to join in it, in its playful banter with moon. Spears of light, reaching every crevice and corner of the world, uncovering the deepest secrets. Shimmering across the water that danced gleefully under its gaze. They were so free and that’s all I wanted, to be free of societies expectations, to be free of the pain of loss I felt everyday, to be free of the pity people would give me when they heard of me, I just want to be free.
I slowly stepped over the cold railings of the bridge at the edge of San Francisco. Holding onto to the metal for support. The wind blew through my hair and caressed my face, singing its sweet lullaby to me; I almost believed its promises. To help me change to start anew but I knew I couldn’t continue to live like this anymore, afraid of every leaf that turned towards me.
My heart beat faster as I realize what I intended to do, I was 18 now I could take control of my own life, I could end it.
I look back towards the shadows that lingered on the bridge, they seemed unnatural, haunting me and the choices I made. Like they knew of my life and they criticized me for it, I would have too, I was completely useless my whole life…I didn’t try and live, well what did I have to live for. Now I really am going crazy, shadows are haunting me, that’s got to be the last straw to my sanity.
I turned around and look to the moon, it seemed fitting I end it on such a beautiful note, the moons gaze watching my every move. Underneath me the waves beckoned me to join them, just a small step and it would be over. I High up and I knew hitting the waves would most likely kill me instantly but even if it didn’t lack of oxygen would do the trick. At such a height I would be long gone by the time my body started to drift back up.
I closed my eyes, remembering the cold concrete walls that had become the only thing I could trust. It was an understatement to say I would miss them. I let go of the railing and took a deep breath, even though I knew it wouldn’t do me much good.
And I took the step, letting the wind rush across my face as I fell into the dark abyss. My stomach churned as I continued to drop through nothing, the water licked up to my toes and surrounded my legs. Ruining the only good pair of jeans I owned, it was too late now. Holding my body to playful waves as I fell through the ocean. Its surprisingly warm embrace engulfed me and I felt at peace finally.
The oxygen slowly left my lungs and my body screeched in pain from the fall as I continued to descend and felt myself lose consciousness, I welcomed the pain and let myself slip away, my last thought was of that moon that gave me my freedom…