Setup: James sits at his table, writing a letter. Clark is walking around the room.
Clark: Make sure that It brings the message across, we can't sound like beggars. We have to demand rather than request.
James (Reading aloud): Dear Mr. Joh-
Clark: No no no, no "Dear Mr. Johnson", that would make us sound like a bunch of ladies askin' him for a kiss on the cheek. are ya' even tryin' mate.
James: Well being tough never was my strong suit.
Clark: Well ya' gotta have to get used to it. Being tough is the only way to get anywhere in business.
James (Reading Aloud): Mr. Johnson. As you most likely are aware of, we are the owners of Clarkson & James, the most lucrative company in the meat industry, and undoubtably the best investment you could possibly make.
Clark: Perfect, but it sounds expensive, make sure you elaborate that we are still growing.
James (Reading Aloud): During the past month, we are, without question, the fastest growing business in America. In a few more months we'll be one of the biggest companies, and, unless you strike now, we'll bypass you in less than two months.
Clark: Great work mate, make it sound intimidating, without threatening him. Let him know that he doesn't have a chance, but that we wish nothing but the best for him.
James (Reading Aloud): Make no mistake Sir, we have no intention of attacking you nor your business, but we also have no intention of letting you stand in our way either.
Clark: Good, now make the offer.
James (Reading Aloud): We propose that you merge with our firm, and give us the majority of your stock. You will be appointed as head of the meat processing unit, so your position and schedule will not be impacted. All of your facilities will be left unaltered, and any workers you have hired will automatically be enrolled as Clarkson & James employees. Any pay offered to them will be matched, regardless of promotion, rank or extraordinary waged individuals.
Clark: Alright now wrap it up with the details, and finish it of with a sober greeting.
James: A sober greeting?
Clark: Make it sound nice without inducing friendship.
James: You have a very particular taste in greetings.
Clark: I have a very particular taste in business letters.
James and Clark share a laugh
James (Reading Aloud): If you're interested in taking our offer, contact us within ten days. If we have not received any response before March 20th. We will presume that you are not interested. This is a one time offer, and if you decide to decline, you will not have the chance again. We hope to hear from you soon. Signed James Gillian, founder and co-owner of Clarkson & James. May 10th 1885.
Clark: And done, send that off and we're good to go.
James: If this deal goes through, we will probably double our profits within a week or two.
Clark: Those are the kinda numbers I like to hear.
James: But what happens if he declines?
Clark: He won't, not if he has any idea how to do business.
James: Seeing as he's only a few weeks from bankruptcy, if he doesn't agree to this deal, he might not have.
Clark: The old chap probably thinks he's invulnerable, just because he makes more money per month, than all of his workers combined do per year.
James: What do we do if he declines?
Clark walks over to the table, and slam his palm down on the table.
Clark: We steamroll him and his business right into the gutter, and buy out what's left o' it.
James: It's a deal.