I sat down on the sofa, as Luke sat opposite me, I awkwardly wriggled around, waiting for him to say something. But I guess he was feeling just as awkward as me, and waiting also for me to say something. After a couple of minutes, I finally broke the silence.
“Um, so,” I stuttered, not sure what to say.
“So..” Luke repeated, fidgeting.
“You said you wanted to talk?” I asked, looking at him expectantly.
“Huh? Oh. Yeah,” he said awkwardly. Damn we were so awkward.
“Er. About what?” I asked, wanting to get straight to the point.
He sighed, running his fingers through his hair.
“Us, I guess,” he said, looking down at his feet.
“Well what about us,” I said, squinting at him.
“Just, everything,” he quietly said, not moving.
“Yeah, well what do you mean by ‘everything’? Everything as in, why you ditched me for that bitch you call your girlfriend? Or maybe you mean how you betrayed me and have been humiliating and beating me up for the past years. Or the fact that you made every single person in this school hate me,” I spat, my anger growing.
“Err, yeah. That,” he said, finally looking up at me.
“Yeah, well what about it,” I said, glaring at him. “Did you call me over so you can make me feel even worse, since in exactly one week it would mark mum’s death for 7 years? Or have you forgotten the date she died,” I screamed, as Luke’s eyes widen.
“Shh, you’ll wake everyone up,” he whisper-screamed.
“IS THAT ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY,” I screamed, furious. “AFTER EVERYTHING I JUST SAID, THAT’S ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY?” I stormed to the front door, not caring that it was way past midnight by now. All I knew right now is that I hate Luke fucking Hemmings with everything I have.
“Tashy wait,” Luke begged, running after me.
“Don’t you fucking dare call me that,” I spat, yanking the door handle.
“Please Natasha. I’m so sorry,” he pleaded, gripping my arm. I tried to wriggle away, but he just tightened his grip.
“I’m sorry for saying I don’t wanna wake everyone up. Do you want me to scream right now? Because I don’t care if I wake the whole neighbourhood if it means you’ll stop crying,” he said, his eyes desperately searching for a reaction.
I suddenly realised that I was crying. I crumpled down to the floor, unable to stay standing anymore. Luke caught me, and carried me over to the sofa.
I buried my head into his chest, trying to stop crying.
“Shh, it’s ok. I’m sorry,” he whispered, placing me down on the sofa. He draped a blanket over me as I wrapped it tightly around myself. I just realised how cold it was.
He looked at me, concerned. “You have barely gained any weight since year 7, yet you’ve grown quite a lot.”
I finally stopped crying, and looked up at him. “That’s probably because I couldn’t afford a proper meal at all,” I said, chuckling.
He shook his head, getting up. “I’m getting you something to eat,” he called, walking off to the kitchen.
I snuggled into the sofa, sighing. Luke suddenly caring like this really confused me.
After about 10 minutes, Luke finally came back, holding a plate, cup and bag of chips. He placed them down on the table in front of me and helped me sit up.
“I made you a sandwich and a cup of juice. I also brought another pack of salt and vinegar chips,” he said, handing the plate to me.
“Thanks,” I whispered, starting to eat the sandwich.
We sat in silence. It wasn’t an awkward silence, it was a comfortable one. I really didn’t wanna break it, but I needed to ask him a question which had been bugging me for a while.
“Why do you care?” I suddenly blurted out, causing Luke to look at me, surprised.
“What do you mean?” he asked, confused.
“You’ve managed to not care for the past years, why suddenly start now?”
“I never stopped caring in the past years,” he said quietly.
“Yeah, didn’t seem like it,” I said, rolling my eyes. “Seriously, its ok for you to say you stopped caring, I honestly understand.”
“How do you expect me to stop caring for my best friend just like that,” he asked, clenching his jaw.
“Well how do you expect me to think you still cared when you treated me like that,” I shot back, glaring at him.
He sighed, slumping down in his seat.
“It was Abby,” he said quietly. “She hated you. Why, I don’t know. She wanted me to get rid of you. I really didn’t want to, but I guess I had to, in a way.”
“Why would you just listen to her like that,” I asked, hurt.
“She was there for me,” he said quietly. “I had a couple of problems myself back then. I didn’t want to tell you, since you already had enough problems yourself and I didn’t want to burden you. Abby was my second option. I told her my problems, and she helped me overcome them, she helped me pick myself up again. If it weren’t for her I’d probably be dead by now,” he said, sighing. “So I guess I got attached to her. And when she came to me, crying, saying that you hit her and said horrible things to you, I got pretty mad. I mean, that use to be me, crawling to her, crying, asking for help and looking for comfort. So I felt I had to repay her favour, by lashing out at the person who hurt her. I honestly wasn’t thinking when I told everyone about your mother and father, or when I was beating you up,” he said, shivering at the thought. “All I know now is how stupid I was, and still am. After I did all that stuff to you, I felt pretty bad. But Abby was happy. Happy that I wasn’t talking to you anymore. And I guess I wanted her to stay happy, so I didn’t talk to you anymore.”
“But you didn’t really like Abby in these past few years, why didn’t you dump her and become my friend again?” I asked, confused.
“How did you know about that,” Luke said, narrowing his eyes at me.
“Oh... Uhh... Well...” I stuttered, causing him to chuckle.
“Don’t worry, I already know Calum told you, it’s fine,” he said, reassuring me. I sighed in relief.
“I was pretty sure you wouldn’t want to have anything to do with me after what I had done to you. So I thought, what’s the point of me dumping Abby? If I lost you in the first place because I wanted to keep her, wouldn’t it be worse if I lost both her AND you?”
I sat there for a moment, trying to process everything he had just said.
“So basically,” I said slowly. “The only reason you did all that stuff to me was because Abby didn’t like me.”
He sighed. “If you wanna put it that way, yeah, I guess. Damnit I’m such an idiot,” he said, glaring angrily at the wall.
I sighed. “I’m not gonna say its ok or that I forgive you, but I can’t say I hate you.”
He sighed, burying his face into his hands. “I’m such an idiot,” he mumbled.
I shook my head. “No you’re not. You were just protecting the people you care about,” I gently said. “That’s not your fault.”
“That’s not true,” he said, looking up. His eyes were red, and there were tear stains running down his face. “A couple of weeks after I started doing all that stuff to you, I stopped caring for Abby. I realised how bad she was, what a bitch she was, and I missed you so badly. But yet I still felt attached to her, as if I was her little prisoner, unable to run away. I felt so hopeless, and I still do,” he said quietly, beginning to cry again. “I really wish I had the courage to break up with her.”
I crawled over to him, hugging him. He hugged me back, while burying his head into my shoulder. I sighed, playing with his hair.
After about 15 minutes, quiet snores were heard coming from him. I chuckled, draping a blanket over him as I made my way to the sofa opposite.
I grabbed the pack of chips, not wanting to finish my sandwich or drink anymore. I lay down, cradling the pack of chips. Today was a day filled with mind numbing events, too much for me to handle.
I placed the chips on the table, deciding to just finish it tomorrow. I shut my eyes, slowly drifting to sleep.
I HAD TO THINK ABOUT THIS CHAPTER FOR A LONG TIME.
AND LIVESOS IS MAKING ME FEEL SO BALBWEOISDAKLERWOIDFSAKLJDSFAOIEWRLKJDSFJKLSDFADFSAKLJ.
AND THANKYOU SO MUCH FOR THE 0.5K READS BABKBAKBAKBAKJBAKBAKJBAKAB