Prodigy's Hopefully Constructive Criticism [Closed, sorry]

I will read at least part of your ORIGINAL story and give you criticism that is thorough, hopefully constructive, possibly positive, and definitely nit-picky. You have been warned. Cover credit goes to the wonderful dramaticllama Nightshade :D

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10. Maverick by Midnight Rogue

Firstly, I need to apologize for taking an age on this. Things have been hectic and then this honestly slipped my mind. I have read the first few chapters (it's a long story!) and I have to say wow. Your writing is technically perfect, and your description is spot on. The vernacular of the journal entry made me feel like I was actually there without even describing the time period/setting. It was all implied, but done really, really well. The only thing I can think to say is that I don't quite understand the line breaks in the journal entry. Why are there sometimes spaces within the dialogue? Some of them seemed to be for emphasis, but the others didn't seem logical to me. In addition, I think it would read better if there were indentations for paragraphs, but that can easily be overlooked if it means reading in your awesome writing style. Honestly, you're a great writer, and I'm sorry I can't give you more CC, but it looks like you don't need it. I look forward to getting time to read the rest!

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