♦Last chapter ♦ The End of the Book ♦
We ended up having more than just a coffee. But, it wasn’t my fault the café had these really good cakes as well, right?
“Can I get you something?” …And maybe I might have said yes to go to his home after.
“Ah, maybe a cup of tea would be nice,” I smile and he nods, before disappearing into the kitchen. I sigh. This was not my greatest idea, I had to admit. Now what? I shift my position in the couch, lean back to get more comfortable. My eyes go to my bag by my feet on the floor, and I remember the book – the one I was reading in the train – that one book that did this somehow.
I hurriedly pull the zipper open, and bring up the book just to have opened in in a matter of seconds, and landing on a page in the middle of it. I try to go page to the first pages, but the pages seem to all me stuck together. I grimaze, and goes for the page I’m already on.
She looks at the train ticket.
I put a hand into my jean pocket, and fishes up the slightly crumpled ticket, looks at it for a moment before I realize the ticket has changed. This is a ticket for a train-journey back. How could I not have thought about this before. My eyes slides down to the date and time, and it dawns on me that I don’t know what time it is now or what day it is either. I huff, stomp my feet into the floor.
“What are you reading?” I flinches at the voice, not having heard Rowan enter again. He’s holding a tray in his hands with two cups on tea. I quickly close the book, and reaches for one of the cups.
“Oh, nothing, really. Just this random book I some time ago in a package,” I smile, holding onto the beautiful marble cup, nails lightly going over the small flowers decorating it.
“A gift from a relative perhaps,” He smiles, sets down the tray on the coffee table before us, before taking a seat beside me in the couch.
“Perhaps,” I mumble, barely audible, in deep thought. There never did stand any sender on the package…
“Can I ask you something?” I ask after a few seconds passing by in silence, as we sat with each our steaming cup in hand.
“Didn’t you already?” he winks, teasingly, and the corners of my mouth turns up.
“Hey, I’m serious,” I say, but I can’t hold back a grin from showing, and poke him in the side instead.
“Okay I’m serious – I promise – ask away,” there’s an amused glint in his eyes, and the light from the lamp above us does little to make him less attractive. I clear my throat.
“Do you… no this is stupid. I- I can’t ask you that,” I shake my head, looking down at my lap. He leans back on the couch, reaches an elbow over to elbow my arm.
“Nah, stupid questions doesn’t exist,” he replies cheerily, and I can feel his eyes on me. Should i? Should I not. I don’t know this guy, I tell myself. But then, if he thinks I’m a freak it won’t matter either because he doesn’t know me. Okay, what do I have to lose? I build up my courage, opens my mouth, and look up at him again, slowly. But then I notice how close his face suddenly is. And unconsciously my eyes moves downward from his eyes to his lips. They looked soft. Soft and beautiful like rose petals. I don’t even notice myself licking my lips, but I notice him biting his. And suddenly it just happens. Or lips touches, and small butterflies comes alive in my stomach. My first kiss, I think, a little dazedly, not even getting the chance to kiss again (which I wouldn’t have either) before Rowan pulls back, cheeks tinted light pink. This time I lean in, put’s the chaos of my mind on the back of my head for a moment.
To say I regretted it was an understatement. We didn’t go any further than kissing, but if he had tried to I’m not sure I would have been able to stop him. I close my eyes for a moment. I fucked up. I fucked up real bad this time. I put my face into my hands. The moon is lighting up the room from the windows. A starry night staring at me, as I lay the on the couch, not being able to sleep.
Why did Rowan have to be so nice anyway. Who would let a complete stranger sleep on ones couch anyway? I could’ve been a thief.
I sit up, pull the blanket away from me. He even got a blanket for me – and a pillow. I rub my eyes, and rake a hand through my hair.
“I wonder what time it is..” I mumble to myself, letting one of my hands fall down to the floor as to grab my back and pull it onto my stomach. I open the zipper and take out the book, and then my mind goes to the crumples ticket. I lift my book, and is just about to put it away when the ticket slips out from between one of the pages. Oh right, I think. Straightening the ticket of with my fingers.
Well it can’t be 5 am yet. I look at the window. No, definitely not. I stumble to remove the blanket completely, and steps onto the floor in my feet with a creaking sound. I scrunches my nose up. Play stay quiet floor, don’t creak! I move around as lightly as I can, trying my hardest not to go into anything when I remember something – or more like don’t. How did I get here from the train station..? I slap a hand into my face, and winches. Could I be any more stupid?.. The sound of a door opening proves me yes. I wish the floor would just eat me now, I think to myself, as the step gets closer. I already know who it is.
“Are you leaving,?” A groggy voice sounds. He was obviously sleeping, and I who thought I couldn’t possibly mess anymore up. I turn around, slowly.
“I forgot, I’m supposed to take a train going at 5 am,” I reply, sheepishly, scratching my neck, and smiling awkwardly.
“Oh,” I says, and was that sadness that flashed in his eyes just there? I wouldn’t know because just as fast as it came it disappeared and was replaced with a tired smile – a fake one, I could see. I gulped, suddenly feeling really uncomfortable.
“Yeah.. I.. yeah, but I ..honestly don’t remember the way to the station,” I answer truthfully, flushing with embarrassment. I look as he rubs his eyes.
“We can.. take my car. It’s too late to walk,” he yawns, pulling his jacket of the hanger on the wall. I pull at the zipper off my own jacket, as I watch him put his on.
“You know..I’m very thankful.. for.. today. It was nice,” I smile, locking eyes with Rowan, as I watch him through my lashes. His hand goes up to pull a strand of hair behind my ear.
“Yes, we should definitely get together again soon. There’s this little restaurant, I know you would love,” he smiles, and I can feel my heart pounding harder against my ribcage.
I hum in agreement. And his tired expression brightens visibly, before he open the door for me, and we walk to his car together. I don’t even care much about the look of the car. Everything old was new here, and I had never thought a car like his would look this good.
“How did you have time to dress yourself,” I question out of the blue as we drive into the night. He looks at me for a second, winks.
“I heard you scramble around,” he smiles, and my face heats up just a bit.
“I wasn’t even that loud,” I huff, and he chuckles at me.
It’s a comfortable silence that settles over us after then, and yet I don’t feel quite comfortable.
The train station comes into sight far too fast, and I only get more uncomfortable.
“Where are you going anyway? I thought you just moved here?” he smiles, a hint of sadness. I nod, bit my slips.
“Yeah, I moved in a bit away from here… So I have to take the train home,” I explain, or lie more like…
He stops the car, and we walk into the train station, and down the stairs. I look around for a clock, and Rowan nudge my arm and points to my left.
I take a breath of air, and looks at Rowan and in the second he looks at me as well, and smiles.
“When you come here again, please come visit me,” he says, looking me deeply, tenderly into the eyes, and I really would have liked to, I realize. I really, really, would have liked to. I reaches for his hand.
“Yeah,” I smile, hoping he doesn’t notice the sadness that smile is holding. He squeezes my hand, and that makes me calm down just a tad bit, before the train pulls up. I pull the ticket up, turn to look at Rowan once more. I open my mouth, but I don’t know what to say. How can a say anything to that sad yet so beautiful smile of his.
“Well, I – goodbye I guess,” I force myself to say. For a moment we just stand face to face, as the train stands still beside us. Coughing up the usual smoke.
“Hey, not goodbye. See you. You’re coming back to visit me, remember?” He smiles, and this time I can’t bring myself to answer, so I just nod. He reaches up to ruffles my hair, and then as the hand slides down the sides of my face, he brings my head closer and kisses my forehead. Pulling back, he grins at me, and I smile a little as well, before slowly stepping towards the train.
He lifts as hand to wave at me as I go.. but I don’t wave back.
All the while I ride the train I don’t do anything. I don’t even as much as look at the book. It’s that book that made me come here anyway. It’s the books fault. I didn’t even want to go here.
I lean back in my seat, and let the tears fall, glide down my cheeks just to fall onto my jacket. I snuggle further into my jacket so much my face gets covered.
And that day I come back the ecaxt same time, I had left – like nothing ever happened to behind with, and boy did I question that all the way home, till I reached the door of my house, and an old lady opened the door…
“Mom, how did you and dad even meet,” I six year old me had asked.
“Oh, that a funny story,” my mom had giggled, “actually it was mom’s friend and her husband that bought me and dad together,” She had caressed my hair after that – told me all the funny stories she could remember about their double dates together…
And then she went back home, but she never found it.
A/N: Hope you liked it! :D