20. Chapter 20
Trigger warning- self harm, thoughts of suicide.
I was sat up in the bathroom, propped against the door.
Lashton was at Calum and Michael's house, Ashton was out, mad at me about something I said.
I hate you! I wish I never met you and I wish you'd just die and go to hell!
I felt the tears prick my eyes and I didn't even try to hold them back.
I sobbed, not even trying to be quiet.
"What's the point of living anymore?" I screamed into my hands.
"Oh, just go f*** yourself!" Ashton screamed.
I turned and slapped him. He stared at me in shock before acting out. He lunged towards me, knocking me to the ground. He straddled my waist before putting his fist to my face multiple times.
I hated what he said, and I hated my reaction.
I slowly stood, reaching towards my razor and slowly bringing it to my wrist.
I slowly dragged it across, enjoying the pain. It was at that moment, though, that I realized what I want.
I want to die.