"You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up to more than I can be."- You Raise Me Up
It was decided that Ashton and Mikey were going to share a room, myself and Molly would share a room and then Luke and Calum offered to go in an adjoining room incase we needed them.
"Can you guys grab Molly's bags?" Luke asked, gesturing into the boot as he crouched over Molly and assessed the best way to get her up without waking her.
"Yeah, course mate!" Ashton called back. I watched as Luke delicately tucked his arms beneath her and lifted her from the seats. Her head slumped back as he quickly pulled her into his chest.
"Nailed it!" Mikey smiled with his arm out, ready to steady Luke's balance as he stepped out of the car. I smiled up at him sweetly, they're going above and beyond for her and I really can't believe it.
"Which way are we going?" Luke asked, turning round aimlessly.
"Come on Amber, we'll show him?" Calum asked, grabbing the two suitcases as I slung my rucksack onto my shoulder and nearly lost my balance under the weight of it. Calum dropped the suitcase and grabbed my arm, holding me steady.
"Thank you!" I blushed.
"No problem!" Calum smiled as he picked up the fallen case.
We got in the lift and walked along the corridor of the 7th floor of the hotel. We stopped outside the adjoining room. I placed the key in the door and pushed it open. The room was cosy and sweet. Me and Molly were in a double bed and then the boys were in two singles next door. Ashton and Mikey were the other side of them in two singles but their rooms weren't adjoining.
Luke walked passed us and flicked over the corner of the duvet with his free hand. He placed Molly on the bed and carefully pulled his arms out from under her. Luke placed the duvet on top of her and carefully tucked her in.
"Have you done this before?" I asked.
"Done what?" Luke smirked up at me.
"Looked after someone like this?" I smiled.
"No, I mean, I had a girlfriend before the band, but it's not the same is it?" Luke asked.
"No, I guess not...." I sighed a little.
"But I kinda like it," Luke smiled.
"A little too much..." Calum whispered next to me, I laughed.
"What was that?" Luke smirked, raising his eyebrows.
"I said... Ermmm... I'm touched.... By your actions!" Calum joked and nodded in a very exaggerated way.
"I'm sure it was!" Luke chuckled and shook his head.
"When's her next treatment appointment Amber?" Calum asked as he turned to me.
"One sec, I've got then written down in here!" I lugged the rucksack off my shoulder and slung it onto the floor.
"It's alright, I've got them all programmed into my phone!" Luke smiled, taking out his iPhone. Calum raised his eyebrows at me and Luke frowned but smirked. "What? It's good to be organised! At least one of us is!" Like flicked through and found the list on his phone. "It's in 2 days, I don't mind going with her if no one else wants to?" Luke asked, looking at us both.
"Oh do you not?" Calum laughed.
"Nope!" Luke grinned at us both. Calum came over and placed his hand on my lower back, I jumped.
"Hey, we should maybe consider room swaps and let these two have the double bed!" Calum teased.
"She'd love that!" I laughed.
"Not as much as he would!" Calum replied and I laughed harder. His hand still sat on my lower back.
"And what are you two laughing at?" Luke asked.
"What?" Calum smirked
"Hmmmm?" Luke questioned, raising his eyebrows.
"Hmmmm?" Calum mimicked, the three of us laughed. Our laughter had caused a bit of a stir as Molly shuffled about in bed. Luke jumped up.
"She's fine!" I smiled.
"Luke, chill!" Calum smiled sympathetically at him.
"I know, I know, I just..." Luke sighed, sitting down on the edge of the bed.
"Look mate, she's been poorly for a while and she's got along okay without you so far.." Calum explained, I saw the pain flood Luke's eyes.
"I know, but she was surrounded by medical equipment and doctors and nurses then. What's she got now? Her best friend who probably knows a lot more than we do and 4 daft Australians who play musical instruments. I dunno, I can't help but think we've done more harm that good..." Luke sighed, placing his head in his hands.
"Hey, if the hospital didn't think she was up to it, they wouldn't have let her come, would they?" I asked, Calum nodded encouragingly.
"I guess not.." Luke sighed, lifting his head up and turning to face Molly before placing his head in his hands.
"Knock, knock!" Ashton chirped as he peered round the door with Mikey close behind.
"We're thinking about going for a drink in the lobby if anybody wants to come?" Mikey asked.
"Yeah, I'm up for that?" Calum smiled.
"Yeah, I'll come!" I said. "Luke, are you staying here or?" I asked.
"Should we wake her up, I mean, she's had a good two hours and it's nearly night time?" Luke asked.
"Shit, it's like, 10 o'clock and we've got a busy day tomorrow, I'm tempted to just head to bed!" Calum sighed.
"Hmmm, you're probably right..." Ashton grimaced.
"Should we say good night now then?" Mikey asked.
"Best had!" Luke groaned, standing up and stretching. We all went round giving each other hugs.
"Night Amberrrr!" Ashton laughed and rolled his tongue as he pulled me into a hug.
"Night babe!" Mikey smiled as he hugged me and rocked us from side to side. Ashton and Mikey left the room.
"See you guys tomorrow!" Calum called after them. That left myself, Calum, Luke and a sleeping Molly in our room.
"Amber, do you wanna lock this door between us or leave it unlocked?" Luke asked.
"I dunno, I mean it's only you two that can get in isn't it?" I asked, staring at the adjoining door.
"Yeah, so we'll both lock our front doors and leave this door slightly open incase you need us in the night, is that okay?" Calum smiled. I nodded and Luke walked over to lock our bedroom door for me.
"Nice and safe now!" He smiled and walked back over and pulled me into a big hug. He really is a giant. "Sleep well..." He smiled sweetly and walked over to the bed. Calum walked over to me and pulled me into a hug.
"You know where we are if you need us, we don't mind at all..." He said quietly before planting a light kiss on my forehead. I watched Luke bend down and press his lips to Molly's cheek, sweeping the hair off her face.
"Night girls!" Luke smiled as he made his way to the door and Calum followed. The both gave a little wave. I swtiched on the bed side lamp and turned off the main lights before doing my regular night time ritual. I climbed into bed next to Molly and listened to the quiet mumbles of Calum and Luke next door before their light went off and silence swept through the room.
I turned to look at Molly, curled up in a tiny ball. She looked so happy and peaceful as she slept.
"Goodnight..." I whispered to her. I swtiched the bedside light off and snuggled down under the covers.
I woke up in the middle of the night and the bed was shaking. I switched on the lamp and looked over to Molly.
"Shit..." I whispered under my breath, she was shaking, her body was trembling. I pulled the covers up around her incase she was cold but as soon as my hand came I to contact with her arm, I realised how hot she really was.
"Oh no, oh no, oh no..." I muttered under my breath. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to go and get Luke or Calum but I didn't know what to do. I couldn't call her parents because they'd panic. I had to go and get them. I climbed out of bed and rushed towards the door.
"Luke, Calum..." I hissed into the darkness. A bed side lamp lit up and Luke sat bolt upright in bed with no shirt on.
"Amber, what's up?" Luke asked, kicking off the quilt and rushing towards me. He was in just trackie bottoms and nothing else. Holy shit...
"It's Molly, I don't know what's wrong with her..." I stuttered.
"Stay with Calum okay? Thank you for coming to get me..." Luke smiled cupping my face in his hands. "Calum, wake up..." Luke yelled and launched a pillow at his head.
"What the fu- Amber what's going on?" Calum asked sitting up and running his hands through his bed hair.
"It's Molly, I don't know..." I began as Luke threw on a hoodie and rushed through the door into our room.
"Hey, she's gonna be alright... Come over here and have a sit down?" Calum asked as he shuffled over and patted the bed. He shuffled and sat up.
"I'm so worried Calum..." I sniffed, trying not to cry.
"Hey, she's going to be okay, I promise... Luke's gonna make sure of it!" Calum smiled, rubbing my back soothingly.
I ruffled my hair and rushed over to Molly. I took her in, the colour had drained from her body, her hair was stuck to her contorted face and she was shaking. I crawled onto the bed.
"Molly, babe, can you hear me?" I asked, placing my hand lightly on her arm. She was so hot. I pulled the duvet down to help her cool off, she was wearing a baggy black tshirt and red laced knickers but I couldn't let that distract me now.
"Come on Molly, wake up?" I begged.
"Hello..." She croaked.
"Hello! Are you okay, it's Luke..." I breathed a sigh of relief and stroked her arm soothingly.
"I'm okay..." She mumbled and rolled over onto my leg. I felt my heart increase.
"Hey, you can't be comfy like that, let me help you?" I asked.
"Okay," she sighed sleepily, still not opening her eyes.
I tucked my arms under her and lifted her onto my legs. I crossed them on the bed and she curled up in my arms.
"Are you okay?" I asked, bending down over her, the shaking had stopped.
"Luke?" She whispered.
"Yeah, I'm here..." I smiled.
"Don't leave me please?" Molly asked.
"Molly, I promise I won't, I'll be here when you wake up if you want me to be?" I asked.
"Hmmmm..." She nodded sleepily and rubbed her eyes.
"Go to sleep then, I'll be here when you wake up, promise!" I smiled.
"Okay, thank you!" She sighed.
"Molly, I promise you, you have nothing to thank me for..." I half laughed. She smiled softly and I waited until her breathing steadied and she was fast asleep. I lifted her off my knee and into the bed, pulling the covers off her as I did so. I then lay down next to her and checked on her one last time before closing my eyes myself...
"Grief is forever. It doesn't go away; it becomes a part of you, step for step, breath for breath." - Jandy Nelson