At Cambridge

A lot of things happened while I was at Cambridge. There were way too many thoughts and feelings and events and to simply note down, so I guess I'll tell the whole story. That's the only way it's going to make sense.


16. Sixteen

I manage to forget all about Ed whenever I'm with George which is nice. While I'm with George, I am just completely smitten with him. He is the sweetest, funniest, most charming guy I have ever met in my life and he keeps asking me out on dates. I can't really believe my luck. It's our fifth date and we had a picnic in this park by a lake as the sun was going down. It sounds cheesy but it's really beautiful. The sun has gone down now and I can see little reflections of the moon in the water. George and I lay side by side on the picnic blanket, looking up at the sky. It's quite cloudy so you can only see a few stars but they're enough. 

"What are you at Cambridge for?" he asks, wistfully. "What do you want to do with your life?" 

I shrug. "I honestly don't know. I'm just sort of heading towards journalism but I don't know if that's what I really want."

"What do you really want?" he asks in that same dreamy tone. 

"I don't want a job. But that can't happen."

"Well, let's just pretend it can, just for tonight. We're multimillionaires, okay? We have all the money in the world, we don't have to work, we can do whatever we want. What do you really want to do with your life?"

I smile. I love his daydream side. "I want to live in Scotland in a little cottage and I want it to rain a lot and I want to paint my walls a different colour whenever I feel like it and I want to draw every single day and have soup for every meal and I want to stay up late and I want to sleep in late and... I want to write poems."

I see him look at me from the corner of my eye, eyebrows raised. "You write poems?" 

"I'm shit at writing poems but I wish I could."

He laughs. I like making him laugh. 

"What do you want to do?" I ask, tilting my head to look at him.

"I want to live in France." he nods, looking up a the sky again. "I just love France, you know? I could eat food like we did on our first date every single day, the weather's perfect, I could go around speaking French and feeling real flash."

"You can speak French?" 

"I'm shit at speaking French but I wish I could." 

We both burst out laughing and he tilts his head to look at me, taking my hand. It feels right to hold his hand, comfortable, perfect. He looks at me for a moment and then moves his head a little closer to mine. I smile, half because I'm saying that it's okay and half because I can't help myself. And then he kisses me and it is everything good. It's sweet, it's exciting, it's happy, it's just right. 

When he pulls away, he smiles at me, squeezing my hand. "I really like you, Daisy."

"I really like you too." I tell him, smiling back.

He chuckles, sitting up and pulling me up with him and he kisses me again. 

"So can I tell my mum I have a girlfriend now?" he murmurs against my cheek. 

I laugh. "Yes, you can."

And from then on, we're together. I'm not going to lie to myself, I can't un-feel what I felt for Edward so I just try not to spend any time with him. I can't feel things for him when I'm with George, so I just avoid Edward as much as possible. That doesn't mean I like George any less though, George is great. He is just... he's just great. As soon as I don't focus on Ed as much, things are perfect. I'm young, I'm at Cambridge university, I have great friends, I have the most perfect boyfriend. It's all how it should be. 

One day, George and I are walking into a lecture and we're a couple of the first people there. I feel so bad for not saying hello to Ed but I just pretend I didn't notice him. George grabs my hand and runs to the top of the steps, right into the back row, dragging me along with him. I laugh as he pulls me down towards him, practically onto his lap.

"George!" I whisper but I can't help laughing. "We're in the middle of the lecture hall."

"So?" he grins, kissing my cheek. "Who's going to care what we do? Mr Feyson?" 

"Stop it." I say, still laughing a little, kissing him properly before I flop down in the seat next to him, taking his hand. "Now is not the time."

He grins, getting his laptop out of his bag with one hand and logging on. His desktop background is some stupid selfie we took the other day. I groan when I see it, burying my face in his neck. 

"That's an awful picture." I say. 

"No it's not!" he protests. "It's cute."

"No, you look cute in that picture. I look like... I don't even know, I look like an orc from Lord of the Rings or something."

He laughs out loud and I see Ed glance up. I ignore it and just focus on George. The beautiful George who is right there in front of me and completely mine. I can't forget that. 

"You don't." he says. 

"I do a little bit though, don't I?" 

"No you don't!" he laughs, quietly as more people join the hall.

"Not all the time, just in that picture!" I whisper and we both laugh even though it's not that funny. 

"Okay, can we all be quiet please?" Ed shouts up at us all, but I can't help feeling it's directed at us. "Can we get our text books out and turn to page seventy please?" 

And the rest of the lecture goes on and George and I sit there on that back row, typing messages to each other on our laptops and sometimes not being able to resist laughing at what the other has said. Those moments are the best moments, when we know we can't laugh which makes us want to laugh even more. We both look at each other and we are telling each other with our eyes that we found something hilarious. The looks on our faces are begging one another to not laugh because we know if one of us laughs, the other will start laughing too. It never works and one of us will always start giggling or chuckling and set the other off too. 

We run out of the lecture hall at the end of the lecture and burst out laughing properly, walking along hand in hand. We can't even remember what we found funny now but we don't care about that. We're just happy to make each other happy like that.

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