At Cambridge

A lot of things happened while I was at Cambridge. There were way too many thoughts and feelings and events and to simply note down, so I guess I'll tell the whole story. That's the only way it's going to make sense.

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14. Fourteen

I get around the corner and then realise I really don't know where George's dorm room is. It's really a bit too late to be calling him and asking for his help, I don't want to bug him. I try back at my room but the door's still locked and I can't get in. I have way too much pride to show up at Edward's house again so I just sit on the side of the fountain, waiting for any sign of Lucy coming back even though it's more than likely she's in the room anyway. I sit there for over half an hour, freezing and bored and angry when of course I hear Edward's voice. 

"I feel shit." he says in a tone of voice that makes it sound like he's offering his apology. Whether I'm going to accept it or not is another story. 

"You should." I say, not looking at him, just staring at the fountain. He sits down next to me. 

"I know." he says. "I was a massive twat."

"Twat doesn't cover it."

"I'm really sorry. I don't know why I was being so mean."

"Me neither." 

He sighs. "Will you talk to me properly, please?" 

I glare at the fountain and then at him. "You were a total, fucking idiot."

He stares at me. And then the corners of his mouth quirk upwards. And then he smiles. And then he's grinning. And then he bursts out laughing and I laugh too even though I really don't want to. I want to cry at him and be angry with him and hold a grudge, but I cant, not when he's there laughing and not when that makes me so happy for whatever reason.

"What?" I demand, trying to sound angry but I'm still laughing. 

"You're right, I was a total, fucking idiot." he says, still chuckling. He looks at me earnestly. "I really am sorry, Dais."

My heart thuds at him calling me Dais. I look down at my lap, not wanting to look him in the eye. 

"It's alright." I tell him. "I'm sorry for showing up on your doorstep. I really need to stop intruding."

He looks straight at me. "Daisy, you're never-"

"Daisy?" George approaches. He laughs, gently. "I thought I saw you wandering around from my room. What's wrong?" 

"I got locked out." I laugh weakly, feeling exhausted by everything going on in my head. Why the hell do I feel so fluttery and light headed when he's around? It's so different to how I feel about Edward but not really less significant. 

"Oh, hi Mr Feyson." George smiles warmly at Edward and he manages to say hi back but he looks annoyed and uncomfortable. George turns to me. "Why didn't you call me?" 

"I didn't want to be a pain."

"Daisy, you're never a pain, don't worry about it." he says lightheartedly. "You can come back to my dorm for the night if you want to."

"Yes please, if that's okay." 

"Of course it is." he smiles. 

I turn and smile at Edward as I'm walking away. He smiles the slightest smile and gets up to go back to his house. I feel terrible even though I'm pretty sure I'm not doing anything wrong by leaving my teacher to go with the boy I've been on a date with. I know that's not really how it is though, things are more complicated than that and I think Edward knows that too.

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