Josh sat alone in his room, his knees hugged up tight to his chest. He'd told David to give him some time to himself. He needed it. He didn't understand. Why didn't Kevin want him? It'd been over two weeks since the incident. Josh's hands had healed less than an hour after he awoke, but his heart was still torn apart. Kevin hadn't spoken to him at all since then. Both of them seemed to stay in their rooms more than they actually attended lessons. Dani had confronted Josh about this and the golden mutant had no response. He was in love with the untouchable boy that wasn't so untouchable to him.
But he knew it wouldn't be that simple to explain to the others. He stared intently at the blank wall, wondering whether people had noticed the speckles of black that had almost entirely consumed his right arm since he lost Kevin. Of course they had. It wasn't really something you didn't notice. He couldn't help thinking about what ideas people had come up with for reasons for his depression (the main cause of the black spots).
Desperately, he ached to see Kevin again. Properly. They'd passed a total of four times in the hallways - Josh had been counting - but no matter what he had tried; Kevin just kept walking, head down, shut off from the world. Josh needed someone to talk to now. But the only one he could talk to about this issue was the one who was at the heart of it.
Josh Foley had been sure he loved Rahne and Laurie. But he couldn't have. Because he never felt anything anywhere close to this for them. This was love. And it sucked. He'd heard what Julian had told Laurie after he returned from trying to get Kevin to come visit Josh after he woke up. Keep Josh Foley the hell away from me. That's what Julian had said Kevin's response had been. Josh wasn't supposed to hear it, but he did. And now he couldn't get it out of his mind.
He knew it wouldn't be long until he broke, and he needed to speak to Kevin before that happened. Kevin really was the last chance he had. He wasn't coping very well with the X-Men right now. Everything felt slower than naturally possible as he stood from the bed, his legs shaking. Closing his eyes for a moment he took a deep breath. It had been days since he'd stepped foot outside his room. He placed an unsteady hand on the door handle and opened the door, stepping out into the - fortunately - empty corridor. Moving faster than he had in over a week, he headed to the last door in the hallway. He contemplated knocking and asking to enter, but what would that accomplish? He'd be denied entry and he'd just be sat on the floor outside Kevin's door for a few hours until he gave up. Instead, he chose to walk straight in, thankful for the unlocked door.
"Please, just leave me alone, Miss Frost." Kevin moaned. He sat on the bed, hunched over, his back to the door. He sounded tired.
"Guess again." Josh's voice barely came above a whisper.
"Elixir!" Kevin turned back, standing from the bed. "What are you- Why are you here?" Josh locked the door, unsure of what to do for the best.
"Just listen." He whispered. "I need to say this now, because I don't know where I'm heading. I'm lost without you, Kevin. I don't understand. What went wrong? Everything that we had... I just... Why won't you talk to me?"
"Don't you see what I am?" Kevin asked with pleading eyes as he approached the other mutant.
"I do." Josh felt the lump rise in his throat at the sight of the boy he loved. "You're the beautiful, spectacular mutant that I am inexplicably and madly in lo-"
"Don't." Kevin ordered, turning his face away. "Don't pretend I'm just a normal guy anymore."
"You should go." Kevin's harsh tone wavered a bit.
"No." Josh forced himself to make the word as strong as possible.
"Jesus, Elixir! Just go!" Kevin snapped. "I don't- I don't want you here."
"Please." Josh felt like he was going to cry. Kevin's rejection was the most humiliating thing he'd ever been through. And he'd been thrown out of his own family before!
"Go." Kevin ordered a little too softly.
"Liar!" Josh exclaimed, unable to stop himself.
"Kiss me." Josh challenged, stepping closer to Kevin. "If you still want me to leave after, fine. Just please. Kiss me."
"I- I can't. I'm sorry." Kevin retreated a step.
"What? So, now our relationship offends you?" Josh's anger and frustration began to peak.
"No!" Kevin sounded almost insulted by the question.
"Then, why?" The words were like a beg, a last opportunity to tell the truth.
"Because I can't hurt you again!" Kevin confessed quickly. "I just... I can't do it."
"Why would you even think-"
"Don't be so naive, Elixir!" Kevin cut his words off harshly.
"You think you're not hurting me now?" Josh's voice was small and weak, as he turned his face away.
"What are you talking about?" Kevin's frown deepened. Josh did not reply. He simply brought his right arm up between them. Kevin took hold of it quickly with gloved hands. "What is this? Why are you-"
"Some of my body shifts into my Black Death form when I'm depressed." Josh explained quietly.
"Depressed?" Kevin attempted to look into Josh's eyes, but the other boy turned his face away. "Why would you be- I don't- Why?"
"Do you wanna guess how many times I've left my room in the past two weeks? Because you could probably count it on your fingers." Josh replied, avoiding the question and staring at the floor.
"You can't do this to me. This isn't fair." Kevin dropped Josh's arm and stepped back.
"This isn't fair?!" Josh shook his head in disbelief. "Try saving the life of the boy you love, only to have him say he wants you to 'keep the hell away from him'!"
"I can't go through that again." Kevin whispered. "Laurie was right. And I can't risk your safety."
"Laurie?" Josh frowned, looking up for the first time. "What? What are you talking about?"
"After I hurt you, she told me I destroy everything. And she's right, isn't she?"
"No. You didn't hurt me, I- I did that to myself."
"With my mutation! To protect me! Don't you see how messed up this is?" As Kevin spoke, Josh wanted more and more to shut him up with a kiss, but he knew that might make it worse, so instead he allowed his anger to peak.
"I wasn't going to let you die, Kevin!" He yelled, pushing a hand through his soft, blonde hair.
"I could've killed you! Why aren't you seeing that? I could've destroyed every inch of your body."
"I don't care! I love you, Kev. I would die for you!" Josh shook his head as he stared at the boy he loved so deeply. "I would... Willingly."
"Josh, just go. Please." Kevin risked a glance at Josh, his breath wavering.
"Josh?" Josh raised his eyebrows.
"What?" Kevin's confusion showed through in his tone.
"You called me Josh. You've been calling me Elixir since I came in here." Despite his hostile demeanour, Josh could see straight through Kevin. It had always been that way.
"Leave me alone." Kevin ordered, turning and retreating back to the bed.
"Just let me touch you." Josh begged. He knew that's what Kevin was most afraid of.
"No! Just go!" Kevin pushed his hands into his hair, demonstrating his exasperation. Josh narrowed his eyes and stormed over to the bed, taking Kevin's wrist. Using his first two fingers, he drew up Kevin's sleeve and pressed his finger tips to the other boy's skin, feeling his racing pulse beneath it.
"There." He whispered. "Nothing."
"Josh..." Kevin couldn't take his eyes from that of the boy in front of him.
"You're not going to hurt me." Josh reassured him. "I can control it."
"Josh, I want to..." Kevin could barely breathe. The moment was so strangely intense. They remained there for a few seconds, eyes connected, Josh feeling every beat of Kevin's pulse.
"Want to what?" Josh pushed, taking hold of Kevin's glove and tugging it from his hand.
"Why are you doing this? I could've killed you. Why do you still want to touch me?" Kevin's confusion was clear in his tone, his eyes dark and pleading.
"Shut up, Kevin." Josh smirked a little, enjoying that the other mutant did not pull back. Keeping his eyes on Kevin's, he slowly removed the boy's other glove.
"I love you, Josh Foley." Kevin whispered, a small smile taking his lips.
"I love you too." Josh pushed his lips to Kevin's before he had even finished his words. Kevin flinched back at first, obviously still wary of his powers, but soon relaxed into the kiss. "I will look after you for as long as I live." Josh whispered, as Kevin pulled him into his lap.
"Promise me you'll never do anything like that again." Kevin ordered softly, stroking his fingers through Josh's perfect, blonde hair.
"You know I can't do that."
"No, I love you. I can't let you go when I know my powers can help you."
"But your hands- I could've- Josh, you could've-"
"My hands have healed. I will always heal."
"I know." Kevin leant his head against Josh's. "But that doesn't make it any easier."
"Does this?" Josh asked sweetly, straddling Kevin's hips and kissing him passionately.
"It's definitely helping." Both boys laughed before kissing again.
"You're so hot." Josh whispered, pushing Kevin back and kissing his neck.
"Wow, you... Wow." Kevin breathed, relishing each moment. Josh smirked to himself, enjoying the effect he had on Kevin. Pushing up from the other boy's body, Josh sat upright and tugged his shirt over his head. Kevin's mouth fell open and his eyes traced Josh's toned upper body.
"Close your mouth, Kev. You're drooling." Josh teased with a chuckle, screwing his shirt up into a tight ball and tossing it away with a little too much force. So much, that when it hit the lamp on Kevin's nightstand, it caused it to wobble and topple to the floor with a loud crash.
"Sexy." Kevin smirked sarcastically.
"Shut up." Josh ordered, laughing, and grabbed Kevin's open hoodie, pulling him to sit up beneath him.
"When did you get so dominant and commanding?" Kevin smirked.
"When you started being so inexplicably irresistible." Josh kissed Kevin once again, pushing the heavy, black hoodie from his shoulders. Kevin freed his arms from the material and wrapped them around Josh's waist - skin to skin.
"Josh?" Kevin murmured, kissing the other boy's neck, amused by the tiny grey-ish patches it left.
"Mmmhmm?" Josh hummed in reply.
"Will you be my boyfriend?" Kevin's voice suddenly lost all confidence and Josh pulled back abruptly, surprised.
"Kevin, I-" he stopped himself, a large smile taking his lips.
"Of course I will."
"Thank you." Kevin whispered, before removing his own shirt.
"Damn..." Josh smirked, looking over Kevin's body and running a hand over his hard abdominal muscles. "Where have you been hiding these?"
"Under my shirt." He teased.
"Now who's drooling, Foley?"
"Do you really blame me? I mean, look at you! You're so-" A series of strong knocks at the door interrupted his words.
"Kevin." Emma Frost's strong, feminine voice sounded through the door. "Some of the other students reported hearing noises from your room. Can you open the door please?"
Josh pulled back slightly, biting his lip to suppress embarrassed laughter, as his golden cheeks took a pink hue. Kevin pouted his lips into a silent 'shhh', amusement strong in his eyes.
"Mr Ford, I must insist you open the door!" Emma ordered, her voice muffled slightly by the thick wood of the door.
"Uhh... Yeah, sure, just... Umm... Give me a second." Kevin called back, scanning the room for somewhere to hide his secret boyfriend. He laughed quietly, when Josh stood and tossed him a pullover black hoodie. The golden mutant then pointed to the floor, indicating that he would hide below the bed, and Kevin quickly nodded in agreement, pulling the hoodie over his head. Smirking, Josh dropped to the ground and moved under the bed, taking his shirt with him. He watched Kevin's feet as they headed for the door, suppressing more laughter.
"Sorry, Miss Frost." Kevin started awkwardly, opening the door. "I was... Urrr... Getting changed."
"Care to comment on the noises reportedly heard?" Emma pushed. Although Josh could not see her face, he was sure she was raising her eyebrows in an accusing manner.
"I fell." Kevin replied, almost too quickly.
"Mr Ford, I am an experienced telepath. It would be wise not to lie to me." She stated bluntly, shifting her weight onto one foot.
"I'm not. I felt a little dizzy, got up too quick, I guess, and I fell against the nightstand. That's all." Josh could almost feel Kevin's heart rate increase with each lie.
"I'm not sure that I-"
"Miss Frost!" Emma's words were cut off quickly, when a panicked Sofia appeared.
"You have to help us! It's Julian and David, in the cafeteria!"
"What have they done now?" Emma almost moaned.
"Kevin, we will discuss this later. If the dizziness persists, consult Angel."
"Sure. Thanks, Miss Frost." Kevin quickly closed the door, sighing with relief.
"You fell?" Josh pushed out from under the bed, sitting on the floor and raising his eyebrows at Kevin. "That's the best you could come up with?"
"Oh, shut up, golden boy! I was under pressure!" Kevin laughed, pulling his new boyfriend up from the ground.
"I love you, emo." Josh teased.
"I love you too, slut." Kevin chuckled.
"Where were we?" Josh feigned confusion, before tugging off Kevin's hoodie and pushing him back onto the bed. "Oh yeah! I remember."