Ben's story

Sexuality is like the flip of a coin one side gay the other side straight how will it land.


63. Part seven/London

Chapter 63 Part seven/ London

   Thankfully John’s photo presentation had been a great success and so he had passed and ended up with a degree. His problem was there was no work; unless he was prepared to work for nothing and pay all his own expenses for someone to employ him in order to get experience, which hopefully could lead to a job.

   Unfortunately, as far as money was concerned, he was no longer flavour of the month. His father was not happy with him, apparently having seen John’s work on the university’s net. He had been shocked by the content and only then had realised that to be able to take such intimate photos, his, son, John, had to be gay.   

   To say he was displeased was an understatement. Not knowing what to say, he had stopped talking to John.

   John’s mother was more supportive for she had guessed he was gay some time ago. Especially as he had showed no interest in girls, and so had accepted the reality of the situation. She told him to keep a low profile and she would work on his father.

   In the meantime, Harry had gone back to New York and both Jimmy and Stephan were always busy at the studio, leaving him all alone.

   Although the content of his work on the net had upset his father, it had attracted several students around the country, who all wanted to have sex with him, if only on camera.


   John and Harry, after their friendship had blossomed while back in London, had continued to contact each other with updates as to how things were going. Harry told John all about Lucy, how he enjoyed the sex but missed doing it with a guy. John, in his turn, filled Harry in about what a great time he was having meeting other young men on camera. Also that his father was not talking to him and he still was looking for work.

   When they next spoke John was very excited, he had met this great guy named Graham on a chat line. They had arranged to meet that evening on cam to have sex, while John’s parents were out playing cards with their friends.

   Harry, half-jokingly told him to be careful as his parents might come home early.

   John laughingly told Harry, “No way, but said he would lock his bedroom door just in case.” He also said he’d bought some gel and a couple of sex toys which they both had a good laugh over.

   Harry suggested he striped the bed down to the mattress and cover it with towels so as not to mess up the sheets.

   John thought this was a good idea and promised Harry to contact him the following day and show him all the gory details as he was recording it.


   “Wow!” Harry said when John showed him the video recording of his session with Graham.

   “Yes I thought the same when I first saw his naked body,” John replied to Harry’s exclamation.

   “I like the way you both mimicked each other’s’ actions,” Harry commented.

   “Yes, it was fun. Sort of like seeing a mirror image of oneself,” John stated.  

   “You know we could do that,” Harry said smiling at the thought. 

   “What about Lucy,” John asked.

   “Well as I told you the other day although the sex with her is great, it’s not    the same since she lost her cock,” Harry said being serious.

   “No, it won’t work. I’d feel like you’re just using me again,” John said sharply, sounding hurt and abruptly ended the link.


  A few days later after the cam sex with Graham, to John horror he started to receive dozens of calls from guys all wanting to have sex   Apparently Graham had also recorded their session but only John’s performance and published it with his name and number on the net. 


   Harry sat between Stephan and Linda at the crematorium. He couldn’t get over the fact that John had committed suicide. He wondered if he was jinxed or something as this was the second guy he had gone out with who had died recently.  Okay this was different from Bradley mistakenly taking an overdose.

   John had left a message on Harry’s phone telling him that after seeing the video of himself using a dildo that Graham had plastered all over the net for everyone to see. He just couldn’t face his father.

   When Harry saw the message on his phone after learning of John’s suicide, he was devastated and thought of how their last conversation had ended.

   If only he had seen the message earlier and however bad things must have appeared to John, it certainly wasn’t a hanging offence.


   Harry wanted to take revenge but wasn’t allowed to. He needed access to John’s phone or computer to find Graham’s full name and details. John senior wouldn’t even acknowledge Harry or any of them. Apparently he was in denial as to his son’s sexual preferences.

   John’s mother was totally different. She knew all about Harry and how John worshiped him. John would play the advert of Harry modelling clothes over and over again.

   Hearing this made Harry more upset than he had been and he started to cry. He blamed himself for John’s death. If only he hadn’t ditched John for Lucy he would still be alive, He now realised why John had sounded so hurt and upset the last time they had spoken.

   Harry’s biggest regret, was that like with Bradley he hadn’t been able to say he was sorry.



   Poor Harry was so cut up about John’s suicide that his sister Linda decided that she could not leave him alone with their mum. In his state of mind she was worried that he might do something stupid.

    So, after the funeral, Stephan and Linda took him back to the studio where they took it in turns to look after him, making sure there were no sharp objects or anything else that might harm him. Stephan, even though Harry objected, followed him into the toilet to make certain nothing could happen.


   Thankfully Jimmy and Jason arrived the next day from America and took charge of Harry. They whisked him off in a waiting taxi back to Ben’s place in Hampstead, giving both Stephan and Linda a much needed rest.

   They hadn’t been there long before the private doctor arrived and gave Harry a sedative which to their relief knocked him out for most of the day allowing everyone to get some sleep.

   It took the boys a full six days of sex therapy to convince Harry that life was once again worth living.

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