Stop playing with my feelings

2014 - I was the one who no one knew anything about. The fans had no idea that I exist and Niall kept me behind all the walls, to have me all to himself. Was this the life I wanted?


19. That day

"Are you sure?" 
Niall laughed and he nodded. We stood outside the church. I had a simple white dress and he had a white shirt with black pants. We looked more like guests than as a wedding couple. I held the roses in my hand and I just stared at him. We heard that Harry had come and that even Louis was there. 
"Come on!" Niall whispered tenderly, and he kissed me lightly. "If you want something for the whole family and relatives, I can arrange that later." He took a deep breath. "Right now I only want you."
Niall took my hand and I went with shaky legs with him into the church. No music was playing and I was almost disappointed by how simple it was. I had dreamed of a big wedding, or at least one where my parents was with  me. Nevertheless, I agreed to Nialls stupid claim and I went with him to the priest. Harry and Louis stood there. Liam and Zayn sat on the front row and everyone smiled. Even the priest had a goofy smile. 
"Are you ready?" he asked. Niall nodded and then everything felt like a dream. I heard how he talked about the sacred marriage and I felt heart pounded.


"Do you Niall James Horan..." 
I was shaking all over. I didn't even hear what the priest said, but I heard Niall said yes. I looked at him and he was so happy. I realized he wouldn't be able to receive a no and I understood that this was important to him. He wanted a small, simple wedding and he just wanted me. My heart jumped and I tried to swallow my pride. Niall was right. It was about that we would say yes and it was all about us. No one else had with our choice to do.
Even that my voice trembled and I almost whispered the word, no one seemed to care. Niall pulled out a ring and he took it on my finger. 
"You may now kiss the bride." 
He took his arms around me and I felt our lips met. I felt how he almost ate me up and I understood that we had made the right choice. For once I had made ​​the right choice in my life and I knew with all my heart that it couldn't be more perfect.




Harry stood up. Nandos had closed the doors for the guests, for our sake and the only guests who were there were One Direction with girlfriends and me. 
"I want to propose a toast." Harry said with a loud voice. I giggled and I took Nialls hand in mine. It was smeared with food but I couldn't bother. He had almost thrown in the food and he had been hungry. 
"Cheers to the bride and groom." 
Niall kissed me and we didn't bother to toast with the other. 
"Just wait until we get home." Niall whispered teasingly, and I blushed. 
"What then?" 
He giggled and he looked down at my dress. 
"You can only imagine..." he said, almost excitedly. "I have plans."
"Mrs. Horan?" 
I was startled and I looked at Louis. 
He laughed and he was amused. 
"Yes, you are now Jenny Horan, how does it feel?" 
I blushed. I hadn't even thought of the idea and now I realized that I had changed my name. 
"It's okay." 
Liam laughed, and he almost seemed to understand why I was startled. 
"Yes, you may get used to the idea." he said cheerfully. "Mrs. Horan."
Niall got a laugh attack. It was almost as if he wanted to tease me and I understood nothing. I just stared at him, and when the laughter subsided into a groan, he seemed to struggle with keeping the laughter away. 
"I'm sorry sweetheart." he said with a hoarse voice. "But you should have seen your face." 
I swallowed and I felt that I blushed. 
"This went to fast." I said firmly. "Yesterday you said that we would get married and today I'm Mrs. Horan. It's not easy to keep up."
Niall hugged me and he kissed me lightly on the cheek. 
"I meant no offense." he said, and this time the laughter was gone. "I know it went fast and I know you have to get used to this." 
I agreed. 
"So don't treat me like an idiot." 
I said it with a twinkle in my eye. I meant no offense and I just smiled at the thought. He had needed to laugh. We'd been so nervous in the morning that he hadn't even found the car keys. We had got lost in the woods and when we got to the church it was as if we both thought that it was just a dream.




Niall put me down on the couch and then he took up a small package. He sat down next to me and he took out a note. He cleared his throat before he gave me an apologetic glance. 
"I have written a letter to you as I want to read." 
The whole I was curious. I almost just stared at him, but I also tried to smile. 
"I'm listening!"
"Dear beloved Jenny, Mrs. Horan"
We smiled big both. He looked quickly at me again and then he looked down at the letter. His hands shook and I saw at him that he was nervous.
"I know that we both might not have planned this life that we have today. When I met you on the golf course, I couldn't believe that I had my future wife in front of me. I saw you as a beautiful creation and I just wanted to keep you. It was like it was meant to be and I was so afraid you wouldn't feel the same for me. I was just Niall, a guy from Ireland who happened to become famous overnight. In my fear, I forgot that you also may have feelings. I was so into my own plans that I didn't see that I neglected you. I was blinded by my own love for you and I couldn't understand why you hesitate." Niall got tears in his eyes. He gave me a quick glance, cleared his throat a little, and then he continued. "When you broke up with me, I lost everything. I ended up in a fog and I didn't understand why you didn't want me. It took me several weeks before I realized that I had treated you wrong. I hadn't listened and I had never thought about that you felt like anything other than my girlfriend. I almost started to drink beer every night and I didn't dare to call you. I didn't dare to even write a letter, because I thought you never wanted to talk to me. I went in for the music and I did what I should for the fans, but when the night came, I was alone and so scared."
I was close to interrupt him, but Niall was fast. He showed with his face that I wouldn't say anything. I would just listen. He continued.
"I deserved it, and I saw by myself that I needed to get an understanding of how badly I treated others, especially you. When I met you in Harry's place, at that party, I felt it was my second chance. I tried to see behind that you had a boyfriend and when I saw the looks that you gave me, I realized that I couldn't escape. I talked with Harry all night and he told me I was an idiot. This was when we made ​​up a plan, anything to get Jamie away from Jamies house, I wanted to be alone with you." Niall looked at me again and then he continued. "I know I have made ​​many mistakes in my life and I know I'm a guy who doesn't work normally. But one thing I'm sure about and that is that I will never see pass you. I wont treat you as anything other than that the person you are. I love you and I need you. You get my world to have a meaning, and you may my life be completely." 
Tears ran down his cheeks, and I was sure it was the happiness tears. He smiled and he looked at me with so much love, that I felt unworthy of him.
"I will prove to you that you have done right, to chose to be with me." he whispered, and then he took up the package. He put it in my hands and he swallowed. "This is my gift to you. I want you to have this, and always remember this moment. I want you never again to doubt me and I promise to always be there for you"
In silence, I opened the package. It contained a small box and when I opened the box, I saw a gold chain. In the chain hung an Irish four-leaf clover with the words: Forever! engraved. I cried. I cried of happiness and I looked at Niall again. 
"Thank you!" 
He smiled and he took up the necklace. He made ​​sure he got it around my neck and then he kissed me. 
"I know it's a simple gift, but I bought it with my heart." 
I disagreed. I threw myself into his arms and I felt tears running down my cheeks. 
"It was the best gift that I ever received." I whispered. "I will always remember this moment."

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