Stop playing with my feelings

2014 - I was the one who no one knew anything about. The fans had no idea that I exist and Niall kept me behind all the walls, to have me all to himself. Was this the life I wanted?


4. secrets

I was in heaven. I was totally filled with love for Niall Horan. He went on tour, and he tried to call me when he got some time over. 


"Why are you so odd?" Emma asked me many times. "You sit and smile and you look like a dreamer?" 
I chose to continue my lies. 
"I'm just in a good mood." I replied, as if it were obvious. She snorted, and it was as if she sensed that I had secrets. 
"And why?" 
I smiled and I chose to just shrug. 
"Because life is good." 
She didn't agree. 
"We have lots of exams in school and you sit and telling me that life is good?" 
I nodded. 
Emma shook her head. I understood her. It wasn't easy with all the requirements from the school. In a way I was grateful that Niall wasn't always around. With him, I hadn't even opened a book. Now when he wasn't around, I still could spend days at school and actually I passed by quite well.




"I miss you!" 
Niall meant every word. I lay in bed and I pressed the handset to my ear. 
"And I miss you!" I whispered, and I was close to crying. Still, I struggled not to let grief take over everything. 
"I come by in about a month." Niall continued. "I'll rent a cabin and you'll come with me there, so we can hang out." 
I sighed. Still, it was strange that he didn't want to show me open. It had begun to go rumors that Niall was with different girls all the time. I knew it was a lie, but still I wasn't sure whether he was faithful or not. 
"I read about a Laura on the net." I said quickly. I didn't like the fact that he wanted to hide me and at the same time all talked about his girlfriends. Niall sighed and I heard in his voice that it was a lie. 
"A fan spread out that I was with Laura, but she's a friend's girlfriend." he said, and he was honest. "Please, Jenny, you're the only one I care about, and you're the only princess that I want." 
I wanted to believe in his words. 
"But it's been half a year now?" I said quickly. "When can I talk about this to my friends?"
Niall sighed and he seemed almost hope that we could be more open soon. 
"The fans will just chase you and I don't want them to ruin anything between us." 
I was annoyed. I was a little disappointed. 
"Niall, you usually tell people that you have a girlfriend? You don't hide your life and your love?" 
He agreed, but he refused to surrender. 
"In a year maybe it's better?" he said. "In a year we can be more open, but everything is so new and I want the fans to understand before I do it like that." 
I was close to roar into the phone. 
"It doesn't matter if you wait a year, eight year or just one day." I said angrily. "They have to accept that you have a normal life and that I'm yours." 
It was quiet for a few extra seconds. 
"I'll think about it." he said and then he changed the topic of conversation, as always. "We get a week together in the cottage. You must tell your parents that you'll be with a friend?" 
I gave up hope. 
"Sure!" I said a little cold. "I lie and I say I'm with Emma." 
Niall seemed not to care that I was lying to everyone. 




I threw myself into Nialls arms. We did no more than entered the house before the clothes went off and we landed on the bare floor. 
"Damn, I missed you." he groaned. I kissed him and I did everything to be as close to him as I could be. Any angry thoughts was gone and the only thing I saw was Niall, my love for him and thought that we would be alone for a week. He penetrated and I almost screamed by just feeling. Niall laughed and he moaned by just the feeling. He kissed me, he stroked me and he brought me to that point where everything just became a fog. We rolled around on the floor, we were like crazy and we made love in every way there was. By now, he knew how he would do. I always got an orgasm when we did it and I loved doing it with him. I had bought protection and we could do it when we wanted and everywhere.


I landed on top of Niall and I was totally exhausted. I put my head against his chest and I could feel his arms caressed my back. We lay and just panted. It was like we always did everything in full and we wanted more. 
"A week..." I heard Niall whisper dreamy and he kissed me on my hair. "A whole week together?" 
I smiled and I nodded. 
"Talk about that we have all the time in the world?" 
Niall agreed. 
"And I will come back in a month." 
I chose to look at him. He was so beautiful and I loved every inch of him. Niall had become a bit more mature since we last time met. I saw that he began to get more stubble and somehow he looked older. 
"I'll be seventeen soon." I said quickly. Niall looked at me and he was thinking. 
I smiled. 
"Maybe I can introduce you as a friend to the party? Just as a friend?"
Hesitation! He hesitated, and I saw at him that he almost panicked. It was as if he wanted to hide me and his own feelings away. I directly sat up.
"So you mean you ashamed?"
Niall shook his head quickly, and he looked like a scared cat.
"Please no. It has nothing to do with you..."
I didn't believe him. Quickly, I stood up and I started to pick up my clothes.
"So when it's your birthday I can't celebrate with you?" I said cool. "We can never have fun with others and we'll always be like two idiots trapped in a hotel room or in a cottage?"
I was so angry that tears came. Quickly Niall stood up and he pulled me into his arms. He forced me to drop the clothes and I took my arms around his neck. He looked straight into my eyes and he looked sad. 
"Okay!" he whispered tenderly. "We present each other as friends?" 
It was better than nothing, but I was still disappointed. 
"This feels so wrong." I said. "We love each other but no one will know about it?" 
Niall wiped away my tears. 
"I know it's hard to understand. I just want you to be mine, but it's tougher when I'm so well known." 
I knew what he was talking about. 
"So you don't want the fans to know..." 
He put his hand over my lips and he smiled faintly. 
"I promise, in the future, I'll yell out that you're my girlfriend. Until then, we must be cautious."


Just then, I had to content myself with what I had and what I got from him. I was his secret girlfriend and our meetings were more secret than anything. Niall was introduced as my friend and my parents liked him. A relief was that Emma found out that I spent time with Niall. Although she didn't know the whole truth, life became easier. When Niall turned eighteen, in 2011, I met his family. I was his friend, his faithful friend, and no one suspected that I was something more. It was as if everyone believed the lie and even I always looked at Niall with love, nobody knew that we were a couple. He managed to stay away from me, when we were among people, but as soon as we were alone, we were like two magnets. We were drawn to each other and we always landed in bed. It was a secret meetings and somehow I realized that this was my own choice. I should already have known that it would continue, but in my dreams would that day come when we should be more open with each other.

Join MovellasFind out what all the buzz is about. Join now to start sharing your creativity and passion
Loading ...