Stop playing with my feelings

2014 - I was the one who no one knew anything about. The fans had no idea that I exist and Niall kept me behind all the walls, to have me all to himself. Was this the life I wanted?

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11. no for a no

Jamie just stared at me. It took him a few seconds before he realized that I actually broke up with him. 
"I wasn't good in bed?" he asked uncertainly. I quickly shook my head and I just wanted to cry. Still, I did what felt right. I now knew that Niall was the only one I wanted, and then it didn't matter that Jamie was perfect in every other way. 
"Come on Jenny!" he said quickly, and he looked almost disappointed at me. "You know that you want me and that you doing this just because you're scared." 
I disagreed.
"No!" I replied with a confident voice. "I'll doing this because of other reasons, and it has anything to do with you." 
He took a few steps towards me. 
"Then I want to know the truth." he said, almost cold. "We had sex and I gave you everything. Isn't that enough? I dare to be with you everywhere and I've proven that I love you." 
I felt small. I knew that the truth would come up. I looked down at the floor and I gathered courage. 
"Niall ...." I whispered. "He's back." 
Jamie froze. He stared at me and it was as if I had said the worst thing that was to say.
"Do you play with my emotions?" He exclaimed quickly. I shook my head. 
"No, but you've known all along that I still love him and..." 
Jamie interrupted me. 
"Stop doing this." He sounded angry. "You can't just say no to me." 
I disagreed with him. 
"You aren't the boss over me." I sighed in response. "I can do whatever I want to do."
I was surprised when Jamie grabbed my face with both his hands, and he forced me to look at him. 
"You can't leave me." he hissed cold and he smiled safely. "You belong to me." 
Okay, I got scared. I just stared at him and I didn't know if I dare to say anything more. He backed me up against the wall and quickly he tore up my dress. I began to resist and I tried to hit him. 
"What the hell are you doing?" 
Jamie pulled down my panties and I heard the sound of his zipper. I couldn't get anywhere, because he was stronger than me. I panicked, but not even that helped.
"I can fucking fuck you whenever I want." he hissed and I felt his hard arms around my body. He lifted me up and he forced me to spread my legs. I felt how he penetrated and then I realized that there was something wrong with him. I was scared and I didn't dare to do anything. He filled me and fast, he started pounding right into me. He slammed me against the wall and he groaned. I just felt the tears came and I felt how he forcibly did what he wanted to do with me.

 

__

 

My whole body ached. I heard that Jamie left the apartment, but I didn't feel safe. He had my keys and he would come back.

 

Niall heard directly that I was crying and that something had happened. 
"Sweetheart?" 
I was sobbing and I was careful to keep my eyes on the door, if Jamie came home again. 
"He refuses..." I got out of me. "He owns me and he raped me all afternoon." 
"Who?" 
I sobbed and I tried to keep myself calm. 
"Jamie!" 
Niall became angry. I heard his voice changed and I heard that he was ready for anything. 
"I will come over!" 
I shook my head quickly. 
"No Niall." I whispered. "Call the police or someone else, but you can't come here. Jamie is strong and he's only going to hurt you."
Niall didn't listen to me. I hoped that he would fetch a bodyguard or anyone else who was strong. 
"I'm coming over now!" He said sure, and he hung up. Left, I sat on the floor and I felt the whole body shook. I put my cell phone back in the bag and then I stood up. I had pain all over and I saw several bruises on the body.

 

The front door opened and I heard Jamie's rapid breaths. He gave me a quick glance and then he disappeared into the bathroom. I sat down on the bed and I closed my eyes. Maybe he'd go away if I just imagined that he wasn't there? He washed himself and then he came out to me again. He sat down on the bed next to me and I felt his arm around my shoulders. 
"Darling, how are you?" 
What should I answer? What did he see?
"Please!" I whispered, and I opened my eyes. "You can't treat me like this?" 
He laughed cold and he kissed my cheek. The kiss was painful because my cheek had also been beaten. 
"I treat you in the same way you treat me." he replied with a confident voice. "I own you and you own me. This is how a relationship should be."

 

I waited! Why didn't Niall come. I heard the cars on the street and I heard the neighbors. But not Niall. 

 

I lay down on the bed and I put a blanket over my body. It hurt all over and I could feel my body just wanted to give up. Jamie sat down in front of the TV and he laughed at some program that was shown. I heard his laugh and I hated him. I hated the thought about him and I realized that I should be grateful that Niall had come back. How had Jamie otherwise been against me? Sooner or later his nasty personality had arrived and it was better that I know about it now than in a year.

 

Somewhere between the sport and the news, on TV, I fell asleep.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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