Stop playing with my feelings

2014 - I was the one who no one knew anything about. The fans had no idea that I exist and Niall kept me behind all the walls, to have me all to himself. Was this the life I wanted?


14. A job

I had worked for the management in about two months. I slowly began to realize that I actually liked my work and Niall took care of me. I enjoyed being with them all and I designing advertisements, pictures of One Direction and I always did my best. There were those who thought that I was there only because of Niall, but there were more who saw that I really did my work. I hadn't had sex with Niall since that with Jamie, but Niall didn't want to force me. Instead, he let me heal and he made ​​sure I wasn't dreaming nightmares. In the beginning, I woke up every night and screamed, but after two months I started slowly to dream of better things.


"Are you going on tour with us?" 
I was startled and I looked up from my laptop. Louis had arrived to my desk and he smiled at me. He understood that he had disturbed me and he seemed to want to excuse himself. 
"Niall harping about it?" 
I blushed. Niall wanted many things. I had work to do so that it was enough and I had no idea I would get to go with them. 
"I don't know!" I answered honestly. "Management needs me and I have some work to do." 
Louis laughed a little bit. He sat down on the edge of the desk, and he looked across the room. I had noticed that the guys had favorites among the staff, but there were also those the guys didn't like. I definitely belonged to one of the favorites. 
"We want to have you with us." he said and I was surprised to hear those words from Louis. 
He looked at me again and he seemed to mean every word that came out from between his lips. 
"Niall's much happier since he told me about you. It's as if he's a new person and he needs you."
I blushed, but I don't think Louis saw it. 
"I need him more than he needs me." 
Louis didn't agree. 
"The fans have been like crazy after him and he never liked the idea that they wanted to touch him and all that stuff." He paused, then continued. "I suggest you at least go public with the relationship." 
Okay, I was startled and I just stared at him. Why did he cared about our private lives? 
"That's between me and Niall." I replied shortly. Louis smiled uncertainly and he nodded, to show that he agreed with me. 
"I only say what I think is best for you." he said kindly. "And I'm telling you what Niall doesn't dare to say to you." 
I had to stop working and I leaned back in my chair. 
"Niall says he wants to.....?" 
Louis interrupted me. 
"He doesn't say it straight out, but I see it at him. Each time Liam goes out with Sophia and every time I have with me, Eleanor. I see that he wants to do the same with you."
I frowned and I had to shake my head. 
"The fans might be..." 
Again he interrupted me. 
"You come up with just excuses. Admit instead that you want to be a secret?" 
I disagreed with him but at the same time he was right. I hadn't thought more about our relationship. I was happy to stay with Niall and I was happy to spend time with him. 
"I'll think about it!" I said and I meant it. Louis had made ​​me realize that we had the roles reversed. Niall wanted to show me up to the world and I just wanted to hide myself. Had the years changed me? 
"Think fast." he said, warning, and then he walked away.




Niall lay down beside me in the bed. I put aside the book as I had been reading and then I peeked at him. I had been thinking about what Louis had said all day, and I almost had a headache over it all. Louis said only the truth to me, but I still hesitated. I loved Niall and I knew he was the one I wanted, but still I hesitated over whether we should go out to the fans with everything? 
"You brood!" 
Niall woke me out of my mind. I nodded a little bit and I put myself under the covers. 
"I'm thinking about us." 
Niall smiled and he put his arm under my head. He lay down on his back and he gave me a quick amused gaze. Then he looked up at the ceiling. 
I nodded. 
"About us, and all that lies ahead." 
He was amused. He looked at me again and I noticed that he wanted to talk about us. He was ready and it made ​​me understand that Louis was serious. I couldn't just think about it all, I had to act.
"And?" asked Niall quickly. I blushed and I laid my head on his chest. I put my hand against his chest and slowly I let my fingers playing with his chest hair. 
"Louis was talking to me today." I whispered, and I wasn't sure. "He made ​​me think." 
Niall didn't want to change the subject. 
"And what did you talk about?" 
I smiled. 
"You and us." 
Niall let a hand caress my back and he showed with the entire body that he was ready. I compounded if he sensed what Louis had talked about or if he just guessed. 
"He wants ..." I hesitated. "Louis said we should get out with the relationship and he said I should come along on the tour."
Nialls both arms slid around me and he held me softly. 
"And what do you think?" 
I took a deep breath. 
"I don't know." I knew he would be disappointed. "I understand now why you were so afraid to show something open." 
Niall disagreed. 
"Please, darling, much has happened since I was a fool?" 
I laughed and I agreed. I looked up at him and he looked at me. It was as if there was tension between us and I knew what he wanted to hear. 
"So what do you think?" I asked. I didn't want to be the one who make suggestions or who talked about what I wanted to do. 
I sighed. 
"Depends on what?" 
He laughed a little bit and then he kissed me lightly on the forehead. 
"If you are ready?"
He looked straight at me and I realized he was serious. 
"Can I ever be ready?" 
He thought, and then he shook his head. 
"You may never be ready, but I don't know what you feel." He said the words with a soft voice. "I just know that I want everyone to know that there's an us." 
I thought and the thoughts spun around. 
"Is that why you want me to go with you on the tour?" 
He shook his head. 
"No, I'm selfish and I want to have you with me all the time." He pulled a hand through my hair. "But this, with showing things openly, that I really do want to do." 
I understood that. 
"And what happens then?" 
He shrugged. 
"The fans will be happy for me?"
I laughed a little bit. 
"You are naive. They will be angry at me." 
Niall disagreed. 
"When Liam met Sophia, there were many who opposed them, but today it's accepted by the fans. I want them to accept you." He swallowed. "They will write nasty things, but in six months no one cares anymore." 
I watched his face carefully. He had a bit of stubble on his cheeks and I saw at him that he was older. I had met him early in his career and I had gotten to know him on all levels. Many fans didn't know about his bad habits, or that he really cared about all the people around him. He was a wonderful person and it was an honor to be his girlfriend. Maybe I was just scared, just because I knew he was so perfect? I was afraid to lose him, but at the same time, I had more to gain. 
"And when will it come out?" 
He was startled. He looked at me and he knew I was serious. 
"When we have an interview or when I write it on twitter."









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