Stop playing with my feelings

2014 - I was the one who no one knew anything about. The fans had no idea that I exist and Niall kept me behind all the walls, to have me all to himself. Was this the life I wanted?


2. 2010

I spun around and I saw Emma come running towards me. She ran with the whole body and I saw at her that something had happened. I stopped and I waited for her. 
"We need to go to the golf course!" she screamed, although she was almost in front of me. "Niall Horan, you know he's from One Direction, is there." 
I was sixteen years old and I felt too old to outwardly be a fan of the five guys. I was such a girl that hid my worship, and it was just Emma who knew about my habits, to listening to One Direction. 
"And do all know about it?" I asked, because I hated to be among others screaming girls. 
"No!" she said quickly and she was panting. She bent forward and leaned her hands on her knees, to calm down. "It's just me and Dad."
I smiled. This was a chance I didn't want to miss. Niall Horan was on the golf course and he was playing golf. Talk about that Emma was lucky, who had a father who worked there.
"Shall we go?" I said therefore fast and she just nodded. She stood up and she seemed to try to regain proper breathing. 
"Yes, that was why I ran into you."




I can't say that I cried straight out, or that I was close to fainting. Niall stood on the golf course with a golf club and he tried to get the ball to the hole. We put ourselves a distance away from him and I chose not to be seen. He was almost as beautiful as I had imagined, and he looked more gorgeous than at the pictures. I blushed just by the thought that Emma and I stood there and stared. He didn't notice that we were a few hundred yards away and we chose to just stare quiet.


Emma's cell phone rang, right as it was. She pouted up when she saw that it was her father, and after a quick call, she looked disappointed at me. 
"I must go!" 
I had two choices. One, to remain. Two, to go with her. Of these choices, I made a crucial choice. I stayed. Emma understood me and she left me alone. I felt like a spy, but still I didn't want to go home, not yet, not now.


You understand why I took up this part of my life? This was the first time I talked with Niall. I followed him around on the track, in a distance, in one hour. I had hidden myself away from him, and I enjoyed that he was there. Off course he couldn't help to discover that crazy girl, who slowly followed him around. He saw me long before I expected it, and he had been thinking for a long time if he would talk to me. "I thought you were a ten year old girl." Niall had recognized long afterwards. "I was afraid you would tell the other fans that I was there."


"Okay... come here and stop hiding!" 
I was red in the face. Damn, Niall knew that I was there. I didn't at first knew if I would dare to go out on the golf course. I hesitated, but in the end it just felt so silly to be hidden. I wasn't a child anymore and a sixteen year old girl didn't behave like a kid. Therefore, I left my safe hiding place and Niall turned around to me. He smiled and he seemed amused. He stood still and it was as if he stared at me to get a picture of who I was. 
"I wont bite you." he went on and he was smiled big. "Maybe you can help me, instead?" 
I don't know where I caught up courage, yet I dared. I went up to my idol and my legs were shaking. 
"I didn't want to disturb you." I said kindly. He looked at me from the bottom up. He was anything but a diva and immediately I noticed that he was just as a regular guy. 
"You disturb me if you keep on like that." he said teasingly. "I've noticed that you've been following me for a while now."
I was red in the face. I didn't know if I should say anything or if I should pinch my lips hard together. He seemed to understand me and quickly he pointed towards his golf bag. 
"You can take care of it and take around the golf bag for me?" 
I nodded quickly, and I had nothing against his proposal. Quickly I grabbed the handle and rolled up the golf bag to him. 
"How many holes do you have left?" I asked quickly. He was amused. I saw it on his entire face and he seemed to still try to get a picture of me. 
"Half the track is still out there." 
I swallowed. I didn't know anything about golf and I had no idea what he demanded of me. The only thing I knew was that I could play like I knew more. 
"Sure!" I said quickly. He laughed and then he put the energy on the golf ball instead. 
"Don't stand too close to me." he said and then he swung the club up in the air and he managed to hit the ball far across the path, towards the green aria.


I'm not lying if I say that I was in a fog the hole time. I can't still today remember what we talked about and I had no idea that the time went on so fast. When Niall was finished, I helped him with the golf bag to a waiting car, and he seemed pleased with me. 
"I know this sounds crazy." he murmured right as it was shyly. "But if you want I can take your phone number and the next time I'm here, can you help me again?" 
I nodded, I lit up like the sun and the whole I screamed yes. 
"Sure!" I replied, still quiet and I took up my cell phone. He stood close to me and it was as if he wanted to procrastinate. 
"Send a message to me." he said kindly, and he gave me his phone number. I obeyed him, and when it beeped in his cell, he was satisfied. 
"Now I can call you and you can call me?"
I lifted my eyes and one of those minutes occurred. We looked at each other, into each other's eyes and it was just quiet. Both Niall and I hesitated, if we would hug each other, but in the end he just slid into the car. 
"I promise to call." he said quickly, and he smiled at me obliquely. "I might pop up when you least expect it?" 
I just smiled and I nodded. I put my cell phone in my pocket and I realized that my cell phone was now my most important possession. I had Nialls phone number, I could call him and my whole life was changed. 
"I promise not to give out your phone number to friends." I said silly. He just nodded, and then he closed the door. The car rolled away, and I remained alone.




I remember it like it was yesterday. Emma called me in that evening and she wanted to know everything. I told her that I had helped Niall, but I chose not to tell her about his phone number. I chose not to mention that he had gotten my number. 
"You are so lucky." she said directly. "I wish I had stayed, but my grandma ended up in the hospital and I had to leave you." 
"It's okay!" I said. I knew that Niall had never been so nice to me, if Emma had been with me. Perhaps he had just given us his signature on a piece of paper, smiled to our mobile cameras and then play on, without me. Back then I believed in fate, in chance. Today I wonder if he was even aware of what he caused inside me. He wasn't even aware that he's in a week's time was always in my thoughts, but slowly I landed in reality and everyday life came back as so many times in my life.




The second time I spoke to Niall, he called me late one afternoon.
"I just wanted to check if you still wanted to help me."
I was shaking all over and I closed the door to my room. I sat down on the bed and I collected myself.
"Yes, I will." I said with such a voice so that I was able to convince him. I heard that he laughed a little bit and I wondered quickly if he remembers how I looked like or if he just remember that stupid fan, as I had been?
"I come over next weekend." he said quickly. "I'll go one round on the golf course and I thought that we could eat afterwards?"
I was more than thrilled. Did Niall tell me that we would eat food together? I would sit next to him and eat food?
He laughed.
"I'll call you when I approach golf course. It will be in the morning."

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