(Influenced by 'Happy Little Pill' by Troye Sivan)
*Warning suicide influences*
I stand in the crowd of the club, girls and guys trying to grind on me, I move away to hide in a booth, the empty booth reminded me of my empty apartment, it's felt to empty since Lou left, he left after a big fight, the words still fresh in my mind and stinging my heart whenever i'm in the apartment. I've been at this club every night since. During the days i'm shopping for comfort food and entertaining items. All I have is time to kill and too many body guards protecting me from danger. For the past month I've had the same routine. I've gotten into drugs since Lou left, it keeps my mind off of him and it takes my pain away and puts me in a different place, I've been prescribed anti-depressants but I don't use them, I get drunk every night and have become good friends with the bartenders and drug dealers. I still feel lonely here, I have to get out into the fresh air, I get onto the sidewalk out side and start walking down the boulevard. I take a pill and face my head to the ground once I've swallowed it, I shove my hands in my jean pockets and let my hair fall in my eyes and hide my emerging tears from the strangers walking by. We are on break from touring at the moment so I am not busy. I just kill time with a bottle of vodka still in my hand, my friends at the bar hook me up, they have been in my position, but they think a girl broke my heart because of the situation I am in, and my rep in the band. I take swig of the vodka as I go to sit on the grass by the edge of the water. I sit down with my legs straight out in-front of me, I take another swig while throwing my head back and remember our argument, It was really just a bit misunderstanding.
I walk through the door late, I was organizing the proposal I have been thinking about for months, I was going to ask him tomorrow if he would marry me, I see Lou sitting at the dining table face down, little snores filling the room, he jumps awake as I close the door as quietly as I can, not quiet enough,
"WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN!?!?!" he instantly snaps, I look at him, I can't tell him, it will ruin the surprise, "No where." I say and start to walk to our room. "NO WHERE MY ASS HARRY, WHERE WERE YOU?!?" He yells, "NO WHERE!" I yell back, and I instantly regret it, "ARE YOU CHEATING?!?" He yells back with tears forming on his waterline. "NO!" I yell back. He doesn't say anything, and just shakes his head, he storms off to our room and I run in behind him, he was packing a suitcase "What are you doing?" my voice manages to say as I start crying. "I'm leaving your sorry ass, I know your cheating, just by the way you denied it!" He snaps and closes the suit case, he walks out the door with a loud crash as he slams it behind him.
"I wasn't cheating," I whisper "I was proposing." I finish my vodka and throw the empty bottle in the water, I just stand up and walk towards the water my self,. No killing my self would ease my pain, but worsen everyone else's. I just stumble towards park a few blocks away past a few hotels, I decide I won't make it home and ditch the park. I walk into one of the hotels and ask for a room, the receptionist asks me the details she needs and hand me a key card and tells me the room number. I stumble to the elevator and click the button to the 8th floor.
When the elevator opens I waver over to my door but hear Lou. Not just his voice though. I hear his moans. I know my Lou. I open the door which was left unlocked weirdly. I widen the door without them noticing to see Lou riding some random boy. And boy that sobered me up. "I see it didn't take you long to get over me." I spit sourly before walking out the door with a slam. I walk to my door but see Lou running towards my in the gold, satin sheets. "Wait. Harry. It's not what it looks like!!" I hear him yell. I would have said a smart remark but I know he's not worth my breath anymore. I unlock my door and walk into my room for the night. I go to shut my door but Lou slips in before I can.
"What do you want Louis!" I snap at him, he seem hurt by my words. He goes to say something but then contracts. I turn around and walk to my bed and kick of my shoes, I need more vodka. I walk over to the mini bar and pull out a bottle of vodka and take a gulp straight from the bottle. "You. You drink vodka?" Lou asks "Yes Louis, I drink vodka now." I say as i take another gulp. I sit on my bed again. I take more gulps before either of us talk again, my drunken state returning. I pop another pill before he says anything, he whispers it to himself more than saying it to me but i still hear it, "Dr-Drugs?" I what he said "YES LOUIS, I DO DRUGS NOW TO!" I yell at him and take another gulp of vodka. "Wh-Why?" Lou's voice cracks as he talks. "WHY?! WHY??!!!? ARE YOU SERIOUSLY ASKING THAT QUESTION??" I scream. and lay back on my bed and run my fingers through my hair. "Wh-What?" He almost whispers. "YOU LOUIS, YOU ARE THE REASON I DO THIS!!" I yell and stand up, I walk over to him, towering over his small figure. "I was finishing the preparations for the proposal I was planning for months before that night, I was going to propose the next day, and I came home to you accusing me of cheating. It's hurt Lou. It really hurt." I say as a single tear rolls down my face. "I even thought about committing suicide!" I exclaim and I just walk away to my bed and face plant to hide my face. Lou just stands there shocked. I roll over to face the ceiling and prop myself on my elbows "And then tonight to find you fucking another guy. God that stung like a bitch." I say as I walk over to my window. I open it and look down at the pavement below. "Goodbye Louis." I state as I sit on the edge and fall backwards as I see him run to me trying to catch me before I fall. He was to late. I fell to the ground and died that night. It released all my pain. I released every emotion I needed to get out. I was finally at peace.