"So what are your parents doing? Do they still own their worldwide company?"
I nodded as I forced the spaghetti down me.
"What do they sell again?"
"Advanced technology additions. Like add ons or other instalments for phones and computers. I don't really know much to be honest. I just know most of Hollywood producers and other advanced tech jobs consistently but from them."
Jess was quiet as she tucked into the meal. It was delicious but my body was ready to spew it all back up.
"It sounds very confusing."
"Oh, it is." I smiled softly. I felt really rude not eating much but I physically couldn't eat anymore.
"Did I give you too much?" Ali asked as she took her plate to the sink.
"No, I just had a big lunch." I lied. Again. This time not too successfully...
"You didn't eat anything at lunch Kait." Jess spoke up. I glanced down at my legs. I could feel Ali's eyes on me.
"Kaitlyn honey, are you okay?" Her voice was soft.
"Yeah I'm fine." I answered too quickly.
"No Kaitlyn. I don't just mean now, I mean, have you been okay? Will you be okay?" She continued to sound concerned. Why did she care so much?
"I'm honestly fine. I'm just under a lot of pressure with my parents back..." That wasn't a total lie.
"When was the last time you ate? Excluding just now."
"This morning. Brett made pancakes."
She didn't look convinced but her body language conveyed her backing down and leaving the subject alone. She collected Jess' plate as I scraped my left overs into the bin.
"You know you can always talk to us if you need to? You're welcome here anytime Kaitlyn. If it ever gets too much just send Jess a quick text and we'd be happy for you to stay for as long as you need." Ali was always so sincere.
"Thank you Ali. I'll keep that in mind." I passed her the plate as a sad smile occupied my lips.
"Sh*t! Kait, come on. The Twitcam is about to start." Jess piped up from behind.
"Coming." I turned around and chased up the stairs after her.
When I walked in the room she was already fiddling around with the link. I perched myself on the edge of my bed checking my phone.
I had a message from Connor:
My dad is asking if you're allergic to anything? He doesn't want to round on you tomorrow haha :p x
I'm completely allergy free! Thank you for checking, wouldn't want to drop dead on your kitchen floor XD x
"Look at their perfection Kait. Look at it!" Jess sounded like she was on cloud 9.
"Hmm- What? Oh, it's started?" I was completely oblivious.
"It started five minutes ago. Get with it." She laughed and I rolled my eyes playfully. It took my 5 minutes to read and send a text? Great. I'm getting old.
I began to shift the longer I was watching it. The more I watched Brandon the more I replayed what happened. The more he is in my head.
I feel like I'm mentally cheating on Aaron. I hate that feeling. I couldn't watch this anymore.
"Jess, I don't think-" she held her hand up to silence me.
"Shh. Brandon has an announcement thingy."
I don't know why but I felt compelled to watch it. I just couldn't turn away.
He fiddled with the camera a little before coughing, "So I've never really done this before. I never thought I would either but I need to. I also think the guys need me to get this off my chest too, they've had to sit and listen to my sobs," Brandon laughed softly causing me to smile slightly, "Anyway... This is a complete shot in the dark, I don't know who's watching this but I have to find out. It was the last night of the tour. We were in the middle of one of the cover songs and two girls came in late, they were on the balcony. One of them tripped and fell on her face," a cheeky smile flickered across his lips, "clumsy but extremely cute. After that I found it hard to keep my eyes off her. I don't ever single any particular person out in any of the concerts but this girl... She was different. I eventually gave in, I couldn't ignore her anymore." My eyes widened, and I could feel my heartbeat quicken, "I know you saw me look at you in shout about it and I know you saw me see you fall. So if you're watching this, I want you to do me a favour. Can you send me a tweet with what you were wearing? I know that sounds extremely weird but It's the only way I can think of to actually find out who you are. I need to know. I can't not see you again."
I was speechless and so was Jess. Thr other guys came back into view and were patting him on the back, Brandon's hands were shaking. Was he nervous about it?
"This has got to be some kind of a joke..." Their voices seemed distant as I spoke up.
"Oh. My. Gosh. You need to tell him!" Jess squealed.
"Jess, I have a boyfriend!"
"You're seriously choosing Aaron over Brandon?"
"I don't even know Brandon. I don't give a sh*t whether he's some famous singer. That actually makes it worse. Do you know how much attention I would get? even if I just tweeted him... I hate being the centre of stuff like that and you know it."
"Aaron's a dick Kait! Why can't you see that?"
"I love Aaron, okay? How do you know that Brandon isn't one? You don't know a thing about him Jess. He's a stranger who just happens to be known for his music. Not his personality. Not his lifestyle. His music. That doesn't say much."
"Why are you so against it?" She kept pressing on. She wanted an answer.
"Shut the f*ck up. Seriously Kait, you're not even going to think about it?" She raised her eyebrow.
"I have thought about it and my answer is no. I can't live like that Jess. He's not going to have time for me. So many other girls are going to be throwing themselves at him. I just couldn't do it."
"He seems loyal. Do you know how much bravery that would've took. He has just confessed to thousands of girls that they're not the girl he wants. They'll be heartbroken. He knew that would happen but he did it anyway. For you. You can't tell me that doesn't show something about him. All you have to do is meet him once. Just you and him. Then you can really get to know him."
"I. H A V E. A. B O Y F R I E N D." How many times do I have to say it?
"He doesn't have to know."
"I'm always loyal Jess. I couldn't do that to him."
"Yet he can eye up others? Come on Kaitlyn! What's the worst that can happen?!"
"I'm not strong enough to handle anymore abuse from him Jess! If he finds out I'll probably end up in f*cking hospital!" I slapped my hands over my mouth as soon as the words were formed. Oh my God. It's over.
"I knew it." Her voice was quiet but those three words broke me. For the first time in two years I completely broke down into tears in front of Jess.
I felt a pair of comforting arms wrap securely around me as tears poured from my eyes.
"It's okay. Get it all out. You've been bottling up too long. Just let it all out." I felt her arms tighten as my tears continued to stain my cheeks.
"H-h-he's g-going to k-kill me." I struggled to form words as I felt my breath slowly being taken from me. I was having a panic attack.
I tightened my grip on Jess and I began to shake. I gasped for air but my lungs burnt. I couldn't breath. Everything around me felt surreal, my hands refused to let go of Jess. If I let go then my lungs will collapse completely.
I squeezed my eyes tightly shut. I wanted to wake up. why could this be a dream? A bad dream? I just want to wake up and be lying under the stars with Aaron again. Before everything got complicated.
I felt as if two walls were crushing me from rather side. My ribs ached, and I swear they were going to crack and second now.
"Kaitlyn. It's okay. You just need to breath. You can do it Kait, just breath." Jess' voice sounded too far away. I shook my head frantically as I continued to try and take in oxygen.
"Slow." Her commandment sounded closer than her previous words. Slowly, I started to inhale and exhale. My speeding heart began to slow down.
"That's it Kaitlyn. Just take it slow." I closed my eyes as I continued to take deep, slow breaths.
I felt stable again. My chest still stung from strain and I was shaking like crazy but I was stable.
"I'm going to beat the sh*t out of that b*stard tomorrow." She spoke through gritted teeth.
"No." My voice was quiet and cracked, "You can't. Please Jess. Just don't say anything."
"Are you stable enough to tell me everything he has done?" Her eyes were staring right at me. She looked disgusted but caring at the same time.
I looked down as I fiddled with my fingers. I chewed on my lower lip but reluctantly nodded.
"In your own time." Her voice was quiet again.
It took me two hours to explain everything. Her emotions were easy to read throughout: anger and hatred. She was furious. We were both in tears once I had finished.
"I just wish you told me earlier." Jess sighed, "I hate knowing he was doing that to you while our biggest problem was the physics pop quiz. I have never hated someone so much. I want to kill him. I hope he burns in hell."
I looked down.
"I am going to f*cking murder him tomorrow."
I looked up at her in alarm, "No! You can't. Please Jess. You can't tell a soul. If he finds out I've told you he'll-" I couldn't finish the sentence. I don't even want to think of the consequences.
My eyes pleaded with Jess. I could see she was thinking hard about this. Another sigh escaped her lips.
"Fine, I won't say anything to anyone."
I relaxed instantly, I was so relieved, "Thank you so-" she held up a hand again to silence me.
"I won't say anything to anyone as long as you meet up with Brandon." She looked straight at me.
"You heard me." She was firm about her agreement terms.
"Because any guy who's that determined to find a girl he only just met deserves all the happiness in the world...
And so do you."