Whaaaaaat?! She updated an actual Movella?! IS IT THE END OF THE WORLD?! Ha-ha. Nah I'm just a lazy-ass procrastinator who suddenly got inspired to write another chapter. Hip-hip hooray! This chapter is bleargh.
She stood in front of the bathroom mirror, naked, looking at her body.
Why can’t I be like all the other girls?
Why can’t I be skinny?
Why can’t I have a perfect body?
Why do I have to be so fat?
She wasn’t particularly fond of her body. Considering she was the ‘fat’ one in her circle of friends, they were all skinny and beautiful and had amazing talents. Her? Oh no she couldn’t do anything, in her opinion. All of her friends could do things that she couldn’t. She can’t dance (she always wished she could though, but those dreams never came true). She can’t do gymnastics. She isn’t a sporty person. She can’t do art (although she considered herself reasonable at drawing). Heck she can’t even do anything in her favourite subject, music.
Oh how she wished she could sing and play the piano, learn how to play the guitar, maybe even know how to perform on a drum kit. But alas, she wasn’t blessed with any of these talents. Yes her sister gets to suddenly go to piano lessons and everything but what about her? No, her mother just thinks the only thing good for her is school. Getting good grades so she can go to a good university and then score a high-paying job like being a doctor, an engineer a lawyer even. She was the one who loved music, more than anything. Why can’t she be talented in the only subject at school she actually liked?
That’s the reason why she’s so nervous when they have to do performances for assignments. She can’t sing beautifully like the other girls in her music class, can’t play an instrument people actually liked. At least she can read music and play the flute. She still wasn’t even good at the only instrument she played. Her flute teacher was always getting frustrated with her for not being able to play it properly. She didn’t even think the flute teacher even liked her. Not that that’s new. She may have been overthinking it but she was sure that one time her flute teacher implied that she was fat. Saying that “You know it might be a good idea to exercise once in a while. It’s not that hard.”
She sighed as she stared at herself in the mirror. She didn’t have a flat stomach, and she didn’t particularly like her thighs either. Her body was the main reason why she couldn’t wear all those clothes that were the latest fashion. They were all designed for all the girls who had the perfect bodies for it, all the ‘latest’ clothes show their flat stomachs and emphasise their beautiful bodies. Ha, wouldn’t work on me. She thought bitterly.
She shook her head, trying to get rid of her thoughts, and stepped in the shower. Turning the shower on to the temperature she felt was right. Grabbing the bath sponge she added the soap and proceeded to lather it over her body, imagining it would wash away all of the horrible events that happened in her life. If only it could… she thought. After rinsing her body she started cleansing her long black hair with shampoo and then conditioner. The only thing she liked about herself was her hair. It was straight, black and just stopped under her bottom. Her long hair was the only thing that peopled noticed her for really. Though at times, it could be extremely annoying. It’s always in a ponytail or braided somehow to keep it out of the way. She rarely let her hair out while at school, people stare, she didn’t really like people staring at her, especially when her imagination runs wild and thinks of the various nasty thoughts about her that might be going through their heads.
After washing her body yet again with soap she stepped out of the shower and proceeded to get dressed in her pyjamas then wrap her towel around her head. She walked out of the bathroom and walked to her room and then loudly slammed her door shut. She was a bit mad. Her mum told them they had to go somewhere tomorrow and stay there probably for the night like always. She had to go to the place she quite despised. No, not school. Her stepfather’s house. They hadn’t gone there in a few weeks and he wanted them to stay over. She had that feeling. The feeling she couldn’t describe. When he would take her to his room… NO! Stop it! Don’t think about this! She shut her eyes tightly, attempting to stop the thoughts. Sometimes, he would be a father, having fun with his kids and taking them places, she enjoyed times like this, but when he turns into… into that monster she wished she never would have let this happen. She hated it.
The girl collapsed onto her bed staring up at the ceiling. Sometimes she wandered if she had maybe depression. She didn’t think she was depressed, it was probably just mood swings. Ah, the effects of being a growing teenage girl she thought to herself. There were those times though, when she wandered what it would be like if she died. How would her family react? What would her friends do? How would it effect all of the people she knew? Then her thoughts wandered to her stepfather, the father of her two brothers.
If I was gone, he would no longer molest me. But what if he does the things he did to me…to my sister?
The thought brought her to tears but she wasn’t able to cry. She wished she could but her body wouldn’t allow it. She knew she had to protect her sister. She won’t let the horrible things that plagued her, find her sister.
The girl took the towel off of her head and laid down on her bed. Plugging in her earphones into her phone she put the ear buds into her ears. Listening to the various songs that have helped her, she closed her eyes. She won’t kill herself, never. She’ll survive. She’ll get through the things that have happened. She won’t give up.