So after band practice Ashton drives me home, I purposely give him directions to the long way home, not that I fancy him or anything but I don't want to be home unless I can go straight to bed ignoring my parents. I swear I am not a bratty teen, I am one the system failed but I don't want to tell Ash that. I just want to have fun and see what is the big deal about Ashton Irwin that makes a girl ditch someone ditch school hottie Calum Hood for or confuses one's sexuality all together. I ask if we can go to a local charity festival. We listen to Nirvana tribute concerts; some band called the vamps play and we decide to get on the stage and play the drums for a mate. The music was a disgrace to pop punk but totally funny, namely because Ash and I had Gello shots - non alcoholic because I am allergic but 'faking it' was fun. Back in the car I proceed to kiss Ash, seeing what the fuss was about whilst my hand slides down his torso exploring what his package had to offer. Honestly I am not beginning to fall for him. No in all seriousness, he was the first confirmation that I had about being a lesbian. Well half-truth he would be so much fun for friends with benefits, might as well enjoy my last night of freedom before my proclamation of love and monogamy tomorrow with Vera happens. So I continue my voyage of discovery: a noisy and messy one at that - let's just say my hand is the boat and it just capsized. He moan staring in shock "this is just fun" I clarified to him. "Don't fall in love". He replied with "don't go breaking my heart...or my" he nods at his junk. I had only realised I am still shaking his package and haven't found anything interesting to we drive to the nearby campsite, searching for a spot to crash or squat, as we had no tent. I whisper to Ash that he should return the favour and he shouts "let's go to a motel" like an excited child on Christmas Day. We decide to hop in but not before I get the number of this hot chick and her tattoo parlour: I was hoping to get a tramp stamp of "Music separates the clouds our minds create". So Ash and I drive to a motel, hungry and horny we stop for Mc Donald's where we saw Calum's ex-girlfriend eating a Big Mac, clearly drunk, not so clear whether she sat on chocolate or shat herself - either way those white shorts are screwed.
We quench one of our desires and continue driving as we are still hungry, no we head to the motel and once we arrive at our room, Ash tells me no strings attached, I reply with the common fact that I am a lesbian and this is just experimenting. He nodded in approval and began to undo his belt, I panic slightly as I have little experience with guys and instead ask Ash to do something I am more comfortable with.
So I undress and he attempts to kiss me, I told him no romance and kissing is synonymous with that so he kisses my neck and slowly makes his way down to my naval making me giggle he goes down further and makes me moan, almost as if a girl was down there, very professional until he tried to kiss me, after going into my garden that is disgusting so I run out the motel, forgetting my nudity as I bump into a familiar face, my first love: the German teacher, I kind of got fired for inappropriate behaviour when she mimicked what Ash had just done to me in the History cupboard.
I explain this to Ash in front of Ms Toba...I mean Andrea and he decides to quell the rumours that she punched a year 7 by explaining our rendezvous to the whole school. I run away clutching at my limited modesty to get changed. I appear to have lost my clothes in the moment so I grab Ash's t-shirt and get in the car waiting for Ash to get in, though he is still dealing with replies calling him a liar. He eventually gets in when I text him, threatening to key his car. We drive around and I notice my house had the lights out so I invite Ash to spend what's left of the night here. We climb in through the back window, leading directly to my room where I see a strange man and scream out for my mother she walks in and slaps me for trying to wake my father up. She bullshits me some story about him repairing my room and he follows her out. I slide down on the floor beside my bed fighting back the laughter while Ashton looks at me perplexed as to why I am laughing after my mother highlights her whorish ways to my friend. I explain my laughter and he cuddles me and I embrace him for a good ten minutes until Vera's text broke the bond. It reads 'he is back' Ash reads over my shoulder asking who is he, It clicks for me and I beg Ash to drive me to Vera's house, he complains about having to be a chauffeur at 2 am but I promise to repay him..with ice cream. We arrive at Vera's house to see her hunched over on her porch I move in to hug her and she cries claiming Jake knows her new address.
I gulp in panic, I unconvincingly reassure her that it is not possible for Jake to have found her, She moved to another country away from him; she, like Calum, is Kiwi. Jake: he is an evil bastard that destroyed her. "Who is Jake?" Ash asks astounded by the changed, solemn mood. I reply with a monologue of how he ruined Vera's life: made her paranoid about him with others girls; controlled her dress sense and he beat her. I met Vera when I spent a term in New Zealand at a group therapy session and that's how we befriended each other sharing our ugly, abusive past but we were both hopeful of a better future so we bonded over that. She told the group horrifying and harrowing stories of how he would lock her in a room for days no food half an orange on the third day and one time he got so mad he broke her jaw - I witnessed this when I tried to pay her a surprise visit - his fist fly into her jaw (I can see why she'd think I am a twat for smacking her the way I did) I try to interject his tyranny but he is strong and I was another punching bag he tried to shift to the side.
Vera allows Ashton to hold her as his eyes fill with sorrow and tear, I ask why he is so upset, even women who have lived with drones tic abuse respond like that to a survivor's story then Ash tells us of the guilt he feels that his ex-girlfriend, when she took back her previous boyfriend that he wishes life could be different "even though my dizzy head is numb, I swear my heart is never giving up" lines he softly sings us to sleep with.
I get another round of trauma; another taste of life on the other team and another picture of the difficult road ahead. On a brighter note, though I had fun with Ash - he has a penis he is not my type and the love thing has to be put on hold. I have bigger things to long for and bigger things to dream of.